


Leaving You Behind

by Samcgrath



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alive Laura Hale, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Deputy Derek, M/M, Stiles Leaves, Sweet Home Alabama AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-03
Updated: 2013-09-09
Packaged: 2017-12-22 07:08:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 50,745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/910352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Samcgrath/pseuds/Samcgrath
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stiles leaves town and Derek behind for a job in New York. He's now engaged to someone and finally returns to Beacon Hills after six years to break the news to his Dad. But is it really over between him and Derek? Or is his first love also his last love?</p><p>Or: Sweet Home Alabama AU with Sterek</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Coming Back Home

**Author's Note:**

> I suck at summaries so read a bit before you decide it's not good enough. This is a Sweet Home Alabama AU with twists and turns to fit the story. 
> 
> Laura and Derek survived the Hale fire.  
> Also, this is unbeta'd so forgive any typing errors although I've tried my best.  
> Apparently, I have a knack for one of these idiots leaving the other one behind for years.
> 
> UPDATE: Derek's photo with Laura's kids that Sheriff showed Stiles was a variation of this one. Just if anyone was interested: http://hoechl-bear.tumblr.com/post/57369811426/serhale-x-guys-did-you-hear-that-that-was

Stiles got off the plane and rented himself a car. He was still a little buzzed from the wine he had drank on the flight but his dad was the town Sheriff and Stiles frankly didn’t care if he got arrested right now. He groaned loudly as he passed the sign announcing he was back in Beacon Hills. Well, whoop-dee-fucking-doo.

 

He might not have been arrested for driving under the influence but he sure got pulled over for going way over the speed-limit. As the patrol car behind him slowed down and the officers made their way over to him, he frantically searched his pockets for his license. He was still busy looking when someone knocked on his car window, a young looking officer. Maybe Stiles’ age, he thought. He found the license and started to get out of the car. He was halfway between straightening himself, with one foot planted on the ground and one still inside the car when his eyes fell on the second officer. 

 

Derek Hale.

 

Who looked just as surprised as him. Honestly, Stiles didn’t know what words were in that instant. He stood frozen on the spot as the younger officer went on about over-speeding. Derek had a pained expression on his face and Stiles thought he should say how good it was to see an old friend again. Were they friends? But before he could even talk, he heard a familiar low drawl and wanted to jerk his head and look at Derek who was now talking but he realized he was already looking at Derek. He had been for a while now.

 

“Wade, my shift is over. I need to go help Laura with the kids. You can take care of this.”

 

And then he was gone.

 

The younger guy—Wade—made a surprised noise and turned his head around to look at Derek’s retreating form.

 

“Deputy Hale---“ 

 

But Derek was long gone so whatever he wanted to say was cut short. Wait, Deputy? Actually wait, Derek was a cop? What?

 

What?

 

“Uh, you were going over the speed limit—“

 

“He’s a deputy?”

 

“Um, you know him?”

 

“Yeah, I do. I did.” Wow, that didn’t hurt at all.

 

“Look, you need to pay for—“

 

“Yeah yeah, I know. My dad’s the Sheriff. And—“

 

“Oh right, I thought I’d seen you somewhere. You look different than the photos the Sheriff has on his desk. He talks about you a lot.”

 

That was a punch to the gut. He wasn’t sure what he should be more offended about. The fact that someone he didn’t even know was telling him he had stayed away for so long that he looked different than his photos. Or that Derek had just called him ‘this’ as in ‘You can take care of this.’ 

 

Or should he be feeling guilty that his dad kept photos of him in his office and talked about him to his employees despite the fact that he hadn’t come home to see him in six years. Or just push himself off a cliff that the first person he had run into was Derek. His ex.

 

Actually it was a good thing, maybe. If he hadn’t seen Derek just now, he would probably have put it off for days or weeks if he even stayed that long. But the thing was it was hard to not run into someone sooner or later in a town like this. And it would’ve been awkward. 

 

‘Hey Derek, remember me? Your boyfriend who left you behind for a job in New York and didn’t come back for six years?’

 

Yeah, maybe it was better that the awkward encounter was out of the way. Maybe.

 

“So, Wade. Looks like you need a ride to the Station. Hop in, I’m going to see my Dad anyway.”

 

Wade looked scandalized at the prospect but seeing as how he couldn’t exactly take a cab back to the Station he accepted with a muttered thank you and then radio-silence. Stiles needed to think anyway. 

 

He had to think of a way to see his Dad after six years and tell him he had a fiancé back in New York. His dad didn’t know he was coming, and he knew he would be happy and jumping around in excitement when he’d see Stiles come in. At least that’s what he hoped.

 

***

 

Derek Hale started his day normally, with too much coffee and a smile on his face. He was on patrol today with Wade which wasn’t the best day at work but it could be worse. He could be doing two shifts back to back. He could be doing paperwork. Yeah, it was a good day. 

 

He and Wade had gone through most of the shift quietly. Just a couple of speeding tickets and the usual rounds. And of course, the customary Jenkins’ call about ‘suspicious looking kids hanging around the front of the shop.’ No patrol shift in the history of Beacon Hills was finished without Jenkins calling about kids lurking. That brought back bad memories, memories he had buried so he quickly turned his attention back to the present. They were parked on the Highway just inside the town limit, this was usually a quiet time of the shift. 

 

Derek was reading the paper when a car rushed by them, he sighed and turned on the engine, put the siren on the roof, and started after said car. Why couldn’t he have had a peaceful ten minutes before he was done for the day?

 

The driver pulled over, it was a rental Derek noted. Wade walked ahead of him and knocked on the window while he stayed behind. A guy got out of the car but Wade was blocking his vision so he couldn't see the person's face and then he wasn’t anymore.

 

Stiles.

 

Stiles was standing next to the car shuffling to open his license and preparing to shove it in Wade’s face when his eyes met Derek’s and reflected the shock Derek knew showed on his face.

 

Stiles is here.

 

His heart jumped around and he felt like he was going to throw up. This reminded him of another time- another time when he was a different person. Stiles was staring at him and he couldn’t take it. No. Not after six years of nothing.

 

Derek made an excuse to Wade and turned around to get away from Stiles as fast as he could. He heard Wade call him and also Stiles asking Wade if Derek was a deputy with disbelief in his voice. Stiles had always thought Derek was never going to do anything in his life. That he was just going to stick around in this small town and work part-time. The disbelief in his voice cut deep but well, some things never change.

 

Derek got into the cruiser and drove out of there in a hurry. He drove home way past the speed limit and slammed the door shut behind him. He was in his bed now and the drive home was a blur. He wasn’t sure how he’d gotten here. 

 

He hadn’t seen Stiles in six years and now he was back in town. Derek wasn’t sure how he was supposed to react to this. For the first three years, he had imagined about this and made up scenarios in his head but then he’d given up. Finally, after five years of being miserable he had come to terms with it. He had created a Stiles-free bubble where he went hours-sometimes even days if he was lucky-without thinking of Stiles. Today was not one of those days.

 

***

 

He thought back to the first time he had first seen Stiles Stilinski. 

 

Stiles had come in while Derek and Laura were waiting for the Sheriff to come back from handling the urgent paperwork. Their house had just burned down and their parents were dead. Stiles had silently walked in and handed Laura a box of tissues from the Sheriff’s desk. He hadn’t tried to extend it to Derek like he already knew that Derek wouldn’t accept. He had spent about twenty minutes in the room, talking for eighteen of them. Laura had stopped crying and was now just alternating between laughing through tears and looking at Stiles with awe in her eyes. Derek too, for a minute, had forgotten where he was and why till the Sheriff came back. 

 

Stiles was the kid who had made Derek forget his pain for a moment in the middle of chaos. 

 

The Sheriff had been too kind back then to him and his sister. He had driven them to the hospital personally to make sure they were okay even after the Paramedics had cleared them not five hours ago. He had then taken them to his house for the night. Stiles was staying at Scott McCall’s house that night and they didn’t see him. Then the Sheriff had made sure that they settled in into the apartment their late Uncle Peter had had in town. It was Mr. Hale’s after Peter had died but now it belonged to Derek. The whole town had been very helpful in that time of adversity but that one man had been the kindest.

 

And somewhere along the way, he became John and not the Sheriff.

 

The next time Derek saw Stiles was weeks later in the cemetery where he was sitting beside a grave and talking. Derek left him be and walked over to where his family now rested and sat down between his father and mother. He was still a teenager and he might have been forced to step up and be an adult, he was still a kid at heart. He sat there just looking at his parents’ names on the tombstones and wondered how he’d always thought of them as just Mom and Dad. But now they were Damien and Talia Hale-beloved parents. Of all the things, that’s what brought him to tears. 

 

He silently sobbed and trembled for about five minutes. That’s all he allowed himself, he had to be strong for himself and for Laura. So just for five minutes, he allowed himself to break down and let all the pent up anger and pain and frustration out. After that, he just sat there thinking back to how life was before all this happened. He didn’t notice when Stiles came and sat down next to him. He didn’t say anything unlike their last encounter. He just sat quietly like he had been at his mother’s grave till Derek made a move to stand up. They walked back to the gate in silence, companionable more than uncomfortable, and parted ways from there. Not a word was shared between them that day. But what they shared was beyond words could have expressed.

 

Stiles was the Sheriff’s kid to him. Stiles was the kid who had sat at his parents’ graves with him for hours. 

 

And then one day years later, he became much more than that. 

 

Derek went home from his part-job at the bookstore to find Laura and Stiles stretched out on the living room couch watching Star Wars. Not again. Laura was obsessed with those movies and going by the blissed-out look on Stiles’ face, so was he. Derek decided to ignore them and went to the kitchen to get his lunch. And before he knew it, Laura and Stiles were there trying to talk to him. Derek liked people like John who kept their opinions to themselves unless asked. But as was his luck, his sister wasn’t one of those people. She was more of the ‘This-is-what-I-think-and-you-should-agree-because-I’m-always-right’ kind. And the ‘You-didn’t-ask-for-my-opinion-here-it-is-anyway’ kind. And Stiles was her long-lost brother. 

 

Between the two of them, Derek decided he’d rather jump off a cliff than sit there and eat while they waxed poetic about the new Batman movie. Don’t get him wrong, he loved Batman. He just didn’t like discussing how Batman and the Joker have unresolved sexual tension. So he made an unnoticed hasty retreat while homoerotic subtext in all the DC comics was being discussed.

 

Things changed after that day. 

 

Derek always went to the local café owned by the Argents and sat at one of the window stools while he sipped his coffee. Now, the town people knew better than to try and sit next to him and converse. Someone would occasionally wave at him or greet him in passing but the seats on either side of him were left gratefully empty. Until Stiles plumped down next to him, on an especially snowy day. Derek was ready to scowl the person all the way to Mars and back but when he turned, he was met by wide brown eyes that he just couldn’t bring himself to glare at. Stiles gave him a huge smile before he began to pour a shit-ton of sugar into his coffee. Derek glared at his head instead but it just didn’t have the same effect, he found. 

 

Stiles not only sat there but also started talking. People were glaring at Derek now. They probably felt cheated that while no one was allowed to sit next to him, Stiles was chatting away and Derek let him. And before he knew it another boy came and sat next to Stiles.

 

“Oh hey, Scotty. Derek, this is my best friend Scott. Scott this is Derek.”

 

“Hi Derek.” Scott as it turned out had even worse puppy-eyes than Stiles. Derek didn’t even try to shoo him away and just nodded at him once. 

 

They sat there for another forty minutes or so, just him and Stiles. Scott had walked away in a dreamy haze after a girl who had dimples and looked literally like a Disney Princess. She was an Argent, Derek remembered. And while he sat there waiting for Laura, Stiles talked about school and Lacrosse and whatnot. He realized he didn’t mind Stiles talking that much.

 

Jinxed. He probably shouldn’t have said that because every time he went into the coffee shop from then on, Stiles magically appeared and sat down next to him. It was like he was hiding behind the counter or something just waiting for Derek to come in. The Barista was always giving him dirty looks and he had no idea what he had done to offend her, well other than the usual glaring and non-committal grunting. She was an older woman- an Argent. Kate. She had always made cute eyes at him and leaned too much under the counter when serving him, ever since she had started working there about a year ago. Derek, just like he treated everyone else, ignored her. Other than the usual tip and a returned wave. 

 

But ever since Stiles had started sitting with him, she was giving him angry looks. She had been rude to Stiles too many times for it to be a bad-mood thing. He wanted to confront her about it but Stiles seemed unfazed by it so he decided to let it go for now. What? Since when was he worried about people being rude to Stiles? WHAT?

 

Apparently, Stiles had already burrowed his way into Derek’s life. He couldn’t for the life of him figure out when or how. The coffee together became a thing, where Stiles would run his mouth for hours sometimes while Derek sat and listened. He enjoyed it more than he would ever admit to anyone. While the town folk shot him looks of betrayal. Well, it wasn’t like he could help it. He almost wanted to get up and yell, “Well, you try to shoo him away when he’s looking at you like that.” But he didn’t, for obvious reasons.

 

Turns out, not only Stiles but also Scott and the princess girl—Allison made it a habit to sit all around him and discuss their lives. It wasn’t like he could get up and leave with three pairs of puppy-eyes directed at him. Damn you, Stiles.

 

Somewhere in the middle of his coffee-shop therapy-sessions, Laura and Stiles became best-friends-forever. Derek would go home from the coffee shop to hear Laura repeat all of Stiles’ daily activities verbatim. He now knew when Stiles brushed his teeth and also how much he scored on his Chemistry daily quizzes. Because he was told twice. Everyday.  
Laura and Stiles became very close over the next few months, to the point that people now feared them like they feared Stiles and Scott together. And for good reason. If anyone saw Stiles and Scott together, it was a good time to be suspicious and run away. Because those two could pull a fast one on anyone, including the Sheriff.

 

And now Laura was Stiles’ partner in crime. They had apparently dumped old man Jenkins’ truck in the lake after he had said something insulting to the Sheriff in the Station last week. Now, no one knew for sure but it had Stiles written all over it. But because no one could prove it, Jenkins had to be satisfied with no official arrest. He did glare at Derek harder than usual though. But that hardly fazed him. A glare was better than a forced conversation. 

 

He had had his doubts but it wasn’t until he’d found Laura and Stiles giggling in the living room when he went home after work and asking Derek if he could get some pain-killers because their arms were killing them.

 

‘From pushing a truck into a lake?’ He wanted to ask but he decided he didn’t want to know.

 

Everyone else had apparently assumed it was him who had helped Stiles since his brother-from-another-mother Scott was out of town. Kate was especially bitchy the next day and got his order wrong, on purpose he was sure. But he thought a confrontation wasn’t the best idea when his sister and that idiot were the ones who had actually done it. He sat down in his usual seat and about three minutes later Stiles came and sat next to him but he wasn’t alone today. Laura sat on the other side of him and he couldn’t help but feel like he was being sold something shitty against his will as he sat trapped between the two of them. And he did get sold. 

 

Laura and Stiles were both sweet-talkers. Evil masterminds. And that’s why there were able to convince him to help them not only tp Kate’s car but a glitter-bomb was also involved. Derek had stood in the parking shuddering, torn between running away and helping them pay Kate back for being such a bitch. 

 

Kate got his order wrong the next day too and for the better part of a month really, after that. Everyone assumed it was Stiles but this prank somehow earned him respect more than disapproval; Kate was apparently the town-bitch. Stiles became a hero, his father was not pleased but at least people liked him even better now. They still crossed the road in a hurry when they saw Stiles and Scott together though.

 

Derek wasn’t sure when he had been sucked into Stiles’ life and his pranks. But he was in now, there was no escaping. And before he could sit down and think about it Stiles was kissing him against his car after he scored his first goal at Lacrosse and Derek had asked him what he wanted as a gift.

 

Standing there with his back against Stiles’ jeep and Stiles plastered along his front, Derek had a moment. It was one of those moments when you get something and you think about how you never realized that you wanted the thing before then but at the same time, you can’t imagine being able to go on without the thing any longer. That thing was Stiles Stilinski.

 

Derek fell hard. His first love and last one, really. And Stiles was a handful. He ripped Derek apart piece by piece and then put him together. He made Derek a totally different person. 

 

Within the week, Derek was voluntarily waving at people. He even stopped to chat to Miss. Carmichael when he was walking home from a run. He started smiling more often and people seemed to be comfortable enough around him to come and sit next to him in the coffee shop. Kate glared even more which meant he was doing great.  
The Sheriff—call me John, son—even invited him and Laura to dinner almost every weekend. Stiles started spending more and more time at their apartment with Laura and him, now that he was done with high-school and looking at potential careers. 

 

He was really interested in journalism and writing, he was applying to colleges all over the country. Derek always ended up in a bad mood after Stiles went on and on about schools that were on the East Coast or anywhere but Beacon Hills. But he never let it show, he pushed it down and hid it away when Stiles was around. Laura saw right through him though and always smiled reassuringly at him when Stiles brought the topic up. 

 

Derek was planning on asking Stiles to marry him. He knew he could never look at anyone other than Stiles, he knew he had found his true love-Laura’s words not his. Things were looking bright.

 

And of course that’s when everything went to shit. Stiles came home one afternoon looking ecstatic. He sat Laura and him down in the kitchen and told them he had been offered an internship in Journalism with a famous columnist in New York. Derek’s smile faltered, Laura looked at him worriedly.

 

Stiles paused for a beat but then went on, “And I want you to come with me.” He had the biggest smile Derek had seen for a while. Derek was crushed, Laura looked like someone had slapped her.

 

“What?”

 

“Derek, this is huge. It’s a once in a lifetime chance and I don’t want to miss it. So I want us to move to New York.”

 

“Stiles,I—“

 

Derek didn’t know what to say. His hand instinctively went to the ring in his pocket that he had been carrying around for days, looking for the right moment. He felt like his heart had been ripped out of his chest and Stiles was holding it, looking at him expectantly to ask back for it.

 

“Derek…”

 

Stiles’ voice was hesitant, he was catching on.

 

“I love you but I really need to do this. Are you coming with me or not?”

 

Derek was frozen, he couldn’t move much less speak. But he felt like he had to or he might lose Stiles forever.

 

“Stiles, I love you. More than anything but I can’t leave Beacon Hills. This is my home. Laura is my only family and I don’t want to leave her behind. I’ve never known anywhere else but here. Stiles, please.” Derek stood up to move toward Stiles but he flinched and backed away. That hurt more than anything Stiles had said or done so far.

 

He silently took the ring out of his pocket, put it on the counter and walked out of the apartment. He could hear Laura sobbing. No sound from Stiles.

 

Derek didn’t know where he was going, he was lost. He was lost in a town he had lived in for twenty-two years and knew like the back of his hand. He wandered around till it got dark out. John saw him walking toward the Cemetery and pulled over. They sat down at a bench silently for about ten minutes before John spoke.

 

“He told me this morning. I love him, he’s my son and I want what’s best for him but I can’t help but feel sad and angry at his decision. He told me he was going to ask you to move with him.”

 

That sounded like a question, Derek looked up and sure enough John was looking at him with his eyebrows raised.

 

“He did. I told him no.”

 

John sighed loudly.

 

“I’m sorry, son.”

 

“I was going to ask him to marry me.”

 

John sucked in a sharp breath and put a hand on his shoulder.

 

“I really don’t know what to say, Derek.”

 

“It’s okay. I don’t either. It’s just that this is home. And Laura’s here and I don’t want to leave her. She‘s the only one I’ve got.”

 

“I understand, Son. I thought as much.”

 

“I don’t know what to do, John. I don’t wanna lose him.”

 

“I don’t know what to tell you. It’s unfair of him to ask you to leave everything behind and move with him. But it’s also unfair of you to ask him to stay.”

 

Derek stared at his feet, he already knew this. That’s why he hadn’t asked Stiles to stay. That’s why he had never said anything to Stiles when he talked about all those far away schools. He knew it was unfair.

 

“I know but I just don’t want to let him go.”

 

“I don’t either, Son.” John patted his back. “I understand about you and Laura and I told him as much this morning but he still wanted to ask you.”

 

“I’m sorry, John.”

 

“You’ve got nothing to apologize for, Derek. I understand. It’s okay. Come on, let’s get you home.”

 

And that had been that. Stiles didn’t come to the apartment or the coffee shop after that. Derek took the week off and laid in bed all day and go to the Cemetery at night. He cried. He hadn’t cried in years but now the tears wouldn’t stop. He didn’t know if he wanted them to. 

 

Stiles had left the ring after he had clutched it to his heart and sobbed for a solid five minutes, according to Laura. Derek had picked it up and carried it with him everywhere. He had it in his pocket now as he sat next to his mother and bawled.

 

On Friday, Stiles had come to the apartment and Laura had let him in while Derek hid out in his room with his door locked. He knew why Stiles was here. Scott had told him yesterday after he had chased Derek into the woods and shouted at him for being a man-child and running away from his problems. 

 

Stiles was here to say goodbye.

 

And Derek had decided that he wasn’t going to see him. Maybe then he wouldn’t have to say goodbye. Maybe then, Stiles would stay.

 

But he could hear Laura now telling Stiles that Derek was in his room. He heard footsteps and a knock on his door. He made no move, Stiles knocked again.

 

“Derek”

 

He felt a pull in his heart, just that one word. He moved and stood next to the door but didn’t open it. He heard Stiles sigh.

 

“Fine, have it your way. I’ve accepted the internship. It’s going to last two years and I probably won’t be back before then. I want to say goodbye, can you open the door?”

 

His heart sank when he heard the words. He already knew that Stiles was leaving but somehow he had expected something to happen and Stiles to change his mind but hearing him say the words made it permanent. Inevitable. He lowered to the floor and handed the doorknob but didn’t open. His eyes were watery.

 

“Derek, please open the door. I want to see you before I go.” His voice broke. 

Derek was silently sitting there with tears streaming down his face. He knew he couldn’t see Stiles. Not if he was going to see him for the last time in two years. He wouldn’t survive.

 

Stiles tried knocking again. And again.

 

“Okay. If this is what you want. I still love you.”

 

He heard footsteps retreat and the sound of Laura crying. 

 

“Stiles...”

 

“Laura, don’t. It’s already hard enough for me to leave.” 

 

“Then don’t.”

 

“You know I can’t. Just take care of him for me.”

 

Laura must’ve nodded because then he heard Stiles and her move and the front door shut behind them. Derek got himself up and moved to his window. He took in a deep breath and looked down.

 

Stiles was looking up at him. They stood like that for a second before Stiles hugged Laura and got into the jeep and drove away. That was the last time Derek saw Stiles.

 

He was broken then. And he was broken now. He didn’t know how to react then and he didn’t know how to react now. So he did what he did best, he locked himself in his house and avoided Laura’s calls and texts and emails and knocks on his door.


	2. Atleast I loved enough to hurt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The title is from the Shane Mack song 'More than this' from the movie Shelter.  
> Thanks everyone who read this, you convinced me to write more!

Sheriff John Stilinski was looking at the newest case- the second animal attack this month. He didn’t want to be sitting in his office reading things and doing paperwork, he wanted to be out talking to Dr. Deaton about the situation but paperwork was a priority. He looked at the clock and realized that Derek should be done in about ten minutes and if he tried really hard, he could convince Derek to handle the paperwork. 

 

Derek was the best officer he had right now. But he was out patrolling with Wade. It’s not that Wade was not a good officer, but it was better for all parties involved if he worked with only Derek or John himself. Poor Derek had to work at least two days with him in a week. But Derek never complained even though his face was a constant scowl as Wade asked questions that shouldn’t need to be asked in the first place. 

 

He was just waiting for Derek to turn in for the day so he could pin paperwork on him when there was a knock on his door and before he could even look up the door opened. He looked up to see his son standing there.

 

His son who he hadn’t seen in six years.

 

“Stiles.”

 

“Hi, Dad.”

 

Wade was standing there behind him. Wade who had been working with Derek.

 

Oh crap.

 

His brain was trying to keep up with everything that was happening and everything this meant. Stiles is here. Derek’s not. Derek saw him. 

 

Stiles stepped forward and put his arms around him, he wasn’t aware that he was standing up. 

 

“I missed you, Dad.”

 

And just like that his brain took a hike. All conscious thought pushed to the back of his mind. His son was home after years. He pulled Stiles in even tighter. After about a minute of standing there like that, reassuring himself that Stiles really was here, he let go.

 

He nodded to Wade to leave them alone and took his seat. Stiles was staring at the photos on his desk. All the photos he had kept there to remind himself that he had a family even if it might not be close.

 

***

 

Stiles sat in his Dad’s office looking at all the family photos there. His eyes got stuck on an old one where his mother was holding up a two year old Stiles while he was reaching out for Scott in his mom’s arms. They were both holding out their arms as their moms were laughing with their heads thrown back. His heart filled with guilt as his eyes refused to move from the picture. His Dad spoke first.

 

“You look different now with the hair and all.”

 

“Yeah, I decided to grow it out a bit. Uh Dad, how are you?”

 

“I’m great Son, seeing you here. You?”

 

“Me too.”

 

“So how was the flight?”

 

“Long. Tiring.”

 

“Yeah you should probably go home and rest for a while, unpack.”

 

“I want to take you out for dinner, Dad. Is that okay? When are you done here?”

 

“I’ve got about three more hours. Tell you what, you go home and rest up and then we’ll go have dinner at Macy’s.”

 

“Sounds like a plan. I’ll see you then, Dad.”

 

“See ya. And Stiles?”

 

“Yeah Dad?”

 

“I’m glad you’re home, Son.”

 

“Me too, Dad.”

 

Stiles got up and hugged his father one more time before leaving the office. Well, that went well. He could feel eyes on him as he walked out and a couple wolf-whistles. These were people he had known growing up, people who knew him as the hyper-active, annoying kid. 

 

Tara, who helped him with Math homework when his Dad was busy. David, who was just a few years older than him and was his mole in the Station and told him inside things and kept an eye on his Dad for him. Tracy, who always directed him to his Dad whenever he called at odd times saying this was the last time. Tim, who let him ride with him on Patrols in exchange of his Mom’s brownies. 

 

This was very cozy, a homey feeling swept over him as these people smiled warmly at him. No one smiled at you like that in New York where Stiles didn’t even know his next door neighbour after living in the same apartment for four years. He felt oddly at home.

 

***

 

John sat there in his office trying to comprehend what this unexpected visit meant. He loved his son and there was nothing that could make him happier than see Stiles but he wasn’t an idiot. There was a reason Stiles was here. After six years of vague phone calls and returned plane tickets, there had to be a reason. 

 

He sincerely believed that Stiles was a good kid but after his mother’s death he had been trapped in his own head for too long. He thought too much and he choked himself with all that thinking. John had thought that after he found Derek, it would get better. It did, Stiles was so happy during that time even when they weren’t together but just friends. But the problem with Stiles was that he was an escapist, he was a fan of ignoring things till they went away. He always thought if he left Beacon Hills that he would leave all this childhood pain behind. John had hoped that finding Derek would change his mind for both their sakes but he had still gone through with it.

 

He knew Stiles loved him, he had tried to convince John to move out to NY countless times. But he was a detective, he hardly missed things that were right in front of him. He had noticed the ring on Stiles’ finger but like always he wanted to give his son a chance to explain. He had a feeling though, that the ring had something to do with why Stiles was back. The dinner couldn’t come fast enough.

 

***

 

Stiles drove home and as he stood in front of his childhood home, a fierce wave of nostalgia hit him. This was where he had spent eighteen years of his life. Some of them not very pleasant but every single one memorable.

 

He made his way in and looked at all the photos, everything was like he had left it and yet not. There was a new chair in the place of the big, ugly one his Dad loved. The kitchen looked like it was used regularly. Melissa must be taking good care of his Dad. That thought brought along an inexplicable amount of guilt, relief and sadness. 

 

He went upstairs to his room, it was still the same. His computer still on his desk, his bed neatly made and all his posters still on the walls. A familiarity and comfort settled in him as he climbed into bed and fell asleep.

 

He had the dream again.

 

'His Dad was dead. Melissa called to tell him that his dad had died in his sleep and the funeral was tomorrow. He had listened to her talk about everything and disconnected. He then got up and went to the bathroom. Andrew asked what was happening, he had ignored him and tuned out his voice as he turned on the shower and sat down under the cold water. Tears finally came as he realized what he had been told. He cried for a while and then got out of the bathroom while Andrew followed him around asking what was wrong. He finally told him and then they both flew to California and attended the funeral.

 

After the funeral was over, he sat in the car while driving over to the house thinking how his father would never be there standing in the front door asking him to hurry up and get in. How his dad would never scold him for doing something stupid. How his dad would never say something that would annoy him enough that he’d go sleep over at Scott’s. That his dad would never be angry with him again.

 

And he realized that he would give anything to have that once again. Just once. To come home to him just once. To hear him yell at him just one more time.  
Something tightened his chest and he couldn’t breathe anymore. He wanted to shout but nothing came out.' 

 

Then he opened his eyes and realized that it was dream. He was in his childhood bedroom, it was dark out and he was drenched in sweat. He got up and made his way to the shower.

 

As he stood under the water, he thought back to the first time he had had that dream. Three days ago, as he slept next to Andrew in their bed. He had woken up yelling to Andrew trying to calm him down and after hours of forced breathing exercises, he had calmed down enough and realized that he was actually scared even if the dream was over. He was scared of what happened in the dream. He was scared of losing his dad. 

 

He hadn’t seen him in six years and he was crying because he needed his Dad. Andrew had pacified him enough when he had gotten himself another panic attack. Stiles had told him that he was going home to see his dad. 

 

And here he was now. He got out of the shower, got dressed and drove out to the diner to meet his dad.

 

***

 

John sat at their table waiting for Stiles when he looked around and found June at the counter smiling at him. She had always been very supportive of him, after Stiles had left she had cooked pretty much every other meal for him. She had convinced him to come in to the diner for his food and sit and talk to her so he wasn’t alone. And she had always reassured him that his son would come back one day. He smiled back at her.

 

“Does Melissa know about this?”

 

“Oh shut up. So, are you feeling any better?”

 

“Oh yes sure. I took a nap, feel so much better now.”

 

“Good. So you ready to order yet?”

 

After their food arrived, John continued telling him about what was happening in town carefully tailoring Derek out of all of it(with a lot of effort) till Stiles brought him up.

 

“So, Derek’s a deputy now?”

 

“Yeah, he joined a while back. He’s really good.”

 

Derek had been devastated after Stiles left. John didn’t blame him, that boy had seen so much pain in his life John was surprised at how well he had turned out. As a teenager after the Hale fire, he had become closed off. John didn’t know the Hales well enough but after that, he kept a close eye on the Hale siblings. For years, Derek was very restricted, he hardly talked to people and kept to himself. Then Stiles found him and after being subjected to endless rambling Derek opened up a bit, he started smiling and then after they started going out, Derek was transformed into a different person.

 

He still didn’t start a conversation, didn’t talk a lot but he looked less like he wanted to kill everyone. Then Stiles left.

 

For weeks, John didn’t hear from Derek. He tried talking to Laura but she hadn’t been able to reach out to him either. Derek had locked everyone out. He kept trying though. Until one day about a month later, he saw Derek in the coffee shop. He looked fine and John was relieved. 

 

Derek waved him over and there was smile on his face. He told John that he had decided to leave it behind and move on. That Stiles had changed him into a different person and yes he was hurting but he wasn’t going back to being his former angsty self. And Derek kept his word.

 

He started going out like before, everyone was very considerate of him. This town was very forgiving and very supportive of its own.

 

John was relieved. He kept in touch with Derek and they shared occasional dinners with Laura as well. He knew Derek well now but he was still surprised when one day Derek told him he wanted to be a cop. John was ecstatic and he thought Derek was making progress, he felt proud. 

 

Derek had picked himself up after he was hurt, he had picked himself up and made something of himself. Within months of joining, he made Deputy. He took his job so seriously, he replaced John as the Local Hero within the first year and John was nothing but proud.

 

Every mother wanted him as a son-in-law and every time Kelly Sanders or Jenna Coleman would try to hook him up with their daughters something deep inside of John stirred. He repressed it though, just like every other thought concerning Stiles when Derek was around. 

 

Derek had built a life here. Laura had gotten married and now had two kids. She had a loving husband. But Derek, he had a job and a house and a car. That’s all he had. But he was satisfied. John could tell. He was stationary in life.

 

And now Stiles was here. John was happy to see his son but he was worried about Derek. This was undoubtedly causing him pain and his Son was hurting. That’s what Derek was to him. Son.

 

“Never thought he’d be interested in becoming a cop.”

 

“Stiles, son I love you. But cut the crap. Why are you here? Are you in trouble?”

 

“Wow. Jeez Dad, can’t I just come see you?”

 

“After six years of avoiding? No.”

 

“I wasn’t avoiding. I was—“

 

“Stiles?”

 

“I just needed to see if you’re okay. I was worried about you.”

 

“Son, I am okay. I told you I was okay when I called you two days ago. Is everything alright?”

 

“Yes. I just, I miss you Dad.”

 

“I miss you too, Son.”

 

“And I also wanted to tell you something.”

 

“Go on.”

 

“Dad, I’m engaged to someone. Andrew, he writes for the Post.”

 

John felt his breath catch. Derek will be crushed. This was his life now, his son had just told him he was engaged and his first thought was Derek. But that was because he had been there for John for years through thick and think. And that boy had been through enough, he didn’t need this. Life was cruel sometimes.

 

“Well, Congratulations Son. Would’ve been nice if you had given me a heads-up. About Andrew.”

 

“I just wanted to be sure, Dad. Before I told you.”

 

“Well are you? Sure?” Stiles looked away for a brief second before answering.

 

“Yeah.”

 

He was just as much in denial as Derek was. They were still in love with each other. And they were both stupid. God, John wished they could get over their differences. But he knew Derek wouldn’t want to leave here and Stiles would never settle. Some things just weren’t meant to be. 

 

***

 

Derek walked into the coffee shop to get his usual morning coffee and everyone inside stopped moving for a second - he was the centre of everyone’s attention. So, everyone found out about Stiles then. Well, that’s out of the way. 

 

Subtle these people they may not be, but they were the most understanding bunch he could ask for. Within the second, everyone smiled warmly at him, even Jenkins- that old geyser never smiled-and then turned back to what they were doing. Derek realized that here were some thirty odd people who smiled at him just to let him know they were here. For him. That they knew he was going through a tough time and they were here for support. He couldn’t really ask for more. A small smile sneaked onto his own lips. It was all going to be okay.

 

He made his way to the counter where Kate was smiling creepily at him. Well, at least she was having fun. And fun on Derek’s expense, that was her favorite kind. Her smile got even bigger as he reached the counter-now a shit eating grin. Derek smiled back as a courtesy and looked up at the menu just for the sake of looking away from her amused face.

 

“Uh, I’ll have one—“

 

“Your ex is back in town I hear. The little shit looks great too.”

 

Derek was forced to look at her, the grin still in place. He was about to tell her off when--  
“Aunt Kate can you get me more milk from the freezer? I’ll hold down the fort here.”

 

Allison was the perfect Princess that Derek would’ve married years ago if she hadn’t been madly in love with Scott. She had been one of the few people he allowed into his little circle of trust and she was always there for him when he needed her. After Stiles had left, Scott and Allison had forced their way in through his steel-hard exterior. He had tried to push them away but they kept coming back till he realized that they may have become his friends through Stiles but they were here to stay. And in the six years, they had both become family just as much as Laura was. 

 

“Sorry about her. The crazy bitch has been laughing since he came in yesterday.”

 

“It’s okay. I’m glad someone’s having fun.”

 

“Oh she’s having fun. She’s also worried about her car though.”

 

That was not a good thing to say and Allison realised that the second she said it. Derek didn’t get time to react at all.

 

“So, just the regular?”

 

“Yeah. And an extra sandwich. I’m going to see John before the shift.”

 

Allison winced at that. 

 

“It’s okay, we need to talk about it. Might as well get it over with.” He smiled at her to reassure her that he’s okay. For the most part, he is.

 

“Yeah, Mr. S was in here earlier for his coffee, he looked like crap. You’ll probably end up comforting him.”

 

Derek thought this over, why was John so worried? He was definitely thinking about Derek. He had said as much on the phone this morning but Derek had been quick to assure him that it wasn’t a big deal. John sounded better after that. Huh.

 

“Yeah, I’ll see you guys after the shift.”

 

“Oh hey, we’re watching the new Superman movie tonight. Scott said to tell you to get beer on your way home.”

 

“Okay, I’ll do that. Anything else?”

 

“No, that’s it. And good luck with your talk.”

 

“I’ll see you tonight.”

 

Derek got his breakfast and coffee and after a final-hopefully-reassuring smile walked away from the counter. His eyes fell on the stools lined along the front window and his feet faltered. That was where Stiles had come and sat down next to him the first time. That was where they had sat for countless hours talking and falling in love. 

 

Derek sighed and walked out of the shop. This whole town was a reminder of that time. The side-walk where Stiles had slipped on the snow and broken his arm. The telephone pole where Stiles had pasted posters for Awareness about Hernia with a photo of his Chemistry teacher Mr. Harris on them. The parking where Laura and Stiles had tp’d and glitter-bombed Kate’s car. Everywhere he looked, he was reminded of Stiles and the happiest time of his life. 

 

And today wasn’t the first day he was reminded of the harsh truth. Nor would it be the last.

 

***

John was looking over a file with a frown on his face when Derek knocked and shouldered his way into the Sheriff’s office. He looked up from the papers and pointed toward a chair. Allison was right, he did look like shit. Derek was very keen on putting his mind to ease.

 

“Sheriff, before you say anything I just want to say that I’m okay. It was a shock yesterday but I’ve had time to think about it and it had to happen sooner or later. We just have to deal with it.”

 

“I’m relieved that you’re fine, Son. And I knew I could count on you. But I’m worried about you. I need to tell you something.”

 

Alarm bells went off in his head at hearing those words.

 

“He’s engaged, Derek. He told me last night.”

 

He was numb. Couldn’t feel anything. Nothing.

 

“It’s some hot-shot writer in New York and he seems excited. But I’m worried about you, Son.”

 

“Derek?”

 

“Derek, are you okay?”

 

“Son?”

 

John was now standing in front of him and he was vaguely aware of something touching his shoulder. Derek wasn’t sure what was happening. John’s mouth was moving but he couldn’t hear anything. The numbness lasted for he wasn’t sure how long. But now John was kneeling in front of him and David was standing behind him.

 

“I’m okay.”

 

“Oh thank God, Son. You had me really worried there for a minute. Do you need water or to lie down or something?”

 

“No, I’m fine. David, could you excuse us a second? I need to talk to the Sheriff about something.”

 

David nodded and walked out of the office.

 

“Are you really okay, Derek?”

 

“Yeah, I’m fine. I was just surprised is all.”

 

“You and me both. He never mentioned it before.”

 

“Okay, so I will be fine. I just need some time to—“

 

“I understand, Son. Take as long as you need. You can have today off if you want. I know you’ve had a rough couple days, I think it’s better if you rest for a while.”

 

“No, it’s okay I’ll be fine.”

 

“Derek, go home. Come back tomorrow.”

 

“Sheriff—“

 

“No, just go okay.”

 

“John, I don’t know what to say.”

 

“Me neither, Son. I know this is hard for you.”

 

“I want him to be happy.”

 

“Me too.”

 

“Is he happy?”

 

“He is, I think.”

 

“Good. Good.”

 

“Listen Derek, you go home now. This is a lot to process, I know. Just take today off, and tomorrow if you need. I’m going to call Laura to check if you’re staying home. Don’t hurt yourself, kid.”

 

Derek didn’t what to say to that. He just nodded at John and went out leaving his breakfast and coffee on the table. He heard John sigh heavily behind him. Everyone was looking at him when he walked out but he could hardly process anything right now. He made a bee-line for the door but David caught upto him.

 

“Dude, you look like you saw a ghost.” Derek leveled him with a glare, not the best time to be talking about seeing things.

 

“Oh sorry, I just mean you look spooked. What’s up?”

 

“Nothing. I’m going home, not feeling well.”

 

“Not like that you aren’t. Come on, I’m driving you, you look like you can’t even see three feet ahead of you. Gimme your keys.”

 

“It’s okay, Dave. I can drive.”

 

“Do you want me to call Laura?”

 

He turned to glare at David.

 

“Sorry man, no can do. Just gimme the damn keys.”

 

David drove him home but never asked him what was wrong. He just dropped him off, gave him a huge smile as he backed out of the drive-way and left. 

 

Derek went to his room, took off all his clothes and laid down in bed. He had no idea how he was ever going to come to terms with Stiles being engaged to someone else. Or married one day. 

 

He knew pain rather intimately but this was something else. This was longing and yearning and thirst that was never going to be quenched. This was his heart being wrenched out of his chest all over again that he had so carefully put back together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize if this chapter is disappointing, I wanted it to be better but this is all I could manage. If it's too bad though, let me know I'll rewrite.  
> Come find me on tumblr at hoechl-bear(http://hoechl-bear.tumblr.com/)


	3. I played a losing game

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this is part one of Stiles' side of the story. Everyone was pissed at me for making Stiles look like the bad guy but like I always said, I will make it better. So, here.  
> Also in part two, Stiles' life in New York for the six years.

Stiles lost his mother when he was nine. His Dad was there, he was in pain just like Stiles was but he wasn’t enough. His mother was gone. Something changed in him that day, he was just a kid but he made a decision. A decision to move away from this town and from all the pain it reminded him of as soon as he could- a decision that he lived by.

 

He was barely eleven when the Hale house burned to the ground because of an accidental fire. He had rushed to the Station after seeing his Dad on tv giving a statement. He had ran into his office to find him and instead found his undoing - Derek Hale. There were two people in there. A young girl who looked like she had been crying for days and a teenaged-boy who was definitely holding back tears. He looked like he wanted to sob but was keeping himself together for the sake of his sister. They were the Hales-the only ones left.

 

Stiles felt a familiar ache in his heart, from two years ago when his mother was withering in front of his eyes and he couldn’t do anything to save her. He didn’t know if it was better or worse that he had known he’d be losing his mother soon and they didn’t know because they went to school like every other day and lost everything in the blink of an eye. He silently moved to his Dad’s desk and got the box of tissues he kept in the drawer and handed it to the girl-Laura Hale. She smiled a bit at him and took the box. He wanted to hand one to her brother too but Stiles had a feeling that he wouldn’t allow himself to break down in front of his sister so he refrained. And then he did what he did best, he talked.

 

Laura was listening intently to him and only occasionally remembered where she was and why but she was doing much better now. Derek’s eyes were the most painful Stiles had ever seen. And he had seen his Dad drink himself to sleep every other night thinking of his late wife. His dad’s were always sad but Derek’s were full of this raw pain and Stiles couldn’t imagine how he was holding it in right now. He wanted to tell Derek it was okay and that he could let go and he probably would’ve if his Dad hadn’t come back and told him to go sleep at Scott’s for the night.

 

Reluctantly, Stiles left the Hale siblings behind. The next day when he came home, his room was spotless. Which it never was. His dad told him the Hales had stayed the night and Derek had insisted that he at least clean and make up the bed. Stiles felt something he hadn’t ever before, a strange current in his heart but he ignored it.

 

His dad told him how Derek had saved Laura from the fire after she had gone running in to see if their parents were alive. Laura was driving away toward school that morning and saw the smoke in the rear-view mirror and turned around. She had sped back and while Derek was still getting out, Laura had gone running through the crumpled front wall to find their parents and Derek had followed her in immediately. She had passed out from the smoke and Derek carried her out and when the Paramedics got there, they found him unconscious, still holding Laura.

 

That’s when Stiles understood. Derek was a martyr. He held in his pain for his sister’s sake. He risked his life for her too. He was one of those people who didn’t care about themselves and put everyone else before their own needs. Stiles still doesn’t know if that was the time he fell in love with Derek or the next time he saw him.

 

***

 

He was sitting in front of his mother’s grave because he had been missing her even more than usual that day. He was sitting there sobbing when out of the corner of his eye, he saw something move and realized it was Derek Hale. He thought of looking over but then he remembered the station and decided not to look. If Derek could hold in his emotions for hours, Stiles had no doubt he would try and hold them in for Stiles’ benefit too. He didn’t want that. He wanted Derek to grieve so he sat glued to the spot. Derek left after a while and Stiles finished what he was telling his Mom.

 

Then he followed where he thought Derek went and sure enough, he was sitting down between two graves and sobbing. Stiles hid himself and looked on as Derek Hale let his pain show. Stiles knew he probably let himself feel for ten minutes in a week, it showed in his eyes that he hadn’t allowed himself to grieve them yet. And sure enough about five minutes later, Derek’s body stiffened as he wiped the tears away and there he was the stoic, unfeeling boy he had met in the Station.

 

Stiles knew at that moment that he wanted that vulnerable, broken boy to share his pain. He wanted to share his own pain with that boy. He walked over and sat down next to Derek, they stayed there for a while not speaking at all. Stiles always had a hard time keeping his thoughts in his head but he knew that Derek needed this so he kept quiet the whole time. He was quiet when they walked out of the Cemetery and parted ways. He walked home that night with a satisfaction he hadn’t felt in a while. 

 

After that the memory of that night at the Cemetery faded as he became busy in school but then Scott started dating Allison Argent. It wasn’t dating then-Scott kept telling him-but they all became good friends and started hanging out at her family’s coffee shop. 

 

He was buying a slice of Cherry cake that day when he turned around and saw Derek Hale sitting on one of the stools along the glass window. He was silently looking out the window, his coffee forgotten near his hand and stools on either side of him empty. Deliberately empty, he suspected.

 

That day, he got his cake and left. But the next day he was back, at the same time and tried to hide as subtly as he could. He waited for Derek to come in and sure enough he got his coffee and went to the same seat. He had a book in his hand that he read for a while as Stiles nibbled on his nails. Then he put the book down and started looking out the window again. Some people waved at him but only if he was looking at them. No one made a move to talk to him or sit down next to him. And then he understood why.

 

Jackson got a crappy frappe or something and while being fixated on his expensive phone, he walked and sat down next to Derek. Now, Jackson didn’t know this because he was busy texting or something but Derek turned to look at him and scowled. 

 

Stiles had seen his dad scowl. And Sheriff Stilinski had a terrifying face when he wanted it. Stiles lived with the man and he wasn’t exactly an innocent kid so he saw the Stilinski scowl quite often.

 

But this. This was so much more powerful, Stiles wouldn’t be surprised if the flowers across the street wilted just because Derek looked at them like that. He would most definitely not want to be on the receiving end of that.

 

And Jackson must’ve felt something-probably the side of his head melting-because he looked up and was met by the darkest glare Stiles had ever seen, hands down. The kind the old creepy guy had in anime’s. In the next few seconds, Jackson scurried out of the shop juggling his coffee and his phone while Derek’s face changed back to a blank stare and Stiles heard Kate Argent chuckle from behind the counter.

 

That’s why it took him another week of watching Derek from a distance to gather enough courage to think about sitting next to him. And another week to actually do it.

 

Stiles got his coffee - just a medium Stiles, it messes with your medication – and while he was paying, he kept turning to check Derek was there and Kate Argent was glaring at him the whole time. He started walking toward the window, almost changed his mind but changed it back and slipped in the seat next to Derek. It took Derek a while to turn this time and Stiles’ heart was trying to escape via his throat.

 

Stiles clamped down on the panic rising in his mind and turned to smile wide at Derek, who just looked at him with wide eyes and Stiles busied himself stirring his seven packets of sugar into his coffee. Derek hadn’t leveled the ‘scowl to scorch the Earth’s core’ at him yet and so he started talking. Rambling, to be specific because that’s what he did when he was nervous. He ran his mouth. But Derek didn’t say a word so he was becoming more nervous by the second and in a moment of weakness or utter genius, he waved over Scott who was probably just going to leave otherwise. 

 

Scott was a lot of things but observant was not one of them. He probably had no idea that Derek didn’t like sitting next to people so he plopped down on his other side with his trademark blinding smile plastered on his face. Scott being there wasn’t much help though because as soon as Allison came in, he went into his ‘Must follow Allison’ mode and left off with dreamy eyes. But at least he had helped break the ice, Stiles felt lighter now and he stayed there for a while talking to or rather talking at Derek. It may not have gone as planned but at least he wasn’t chased away and there were no glares and or scowls. So he counted that as a victory. One down, two billion to go.

 

Derek may not have talked back but Stiles felt like something eased between them after that. He would go to the shop after school everyday and wait for Derek at the same time. Kate would scowl and bitch about school kids being a hassle. What was her problem, anyway? But nothing fazed him, he went and waited for Derek and then just silently slipped in next to him when he sat down. He loved being there, sharing things about his day and his memories with Derek and sometimes he even talked back. Actually, after the first three weeks or so Derek began to actively share things with him. Nothing too big in the beginning just regular day-to-day talk but soon enough, they became friends even best friends.  
Scott would come over some days and stare longingly at Allison as she manned the counter. Along the way somewhere, she became a part of their little group. Kate hated it even more. Well, to hell with her.

 

While Stiles was trying to draw out Derek from his shell, he became close to Laura Hale as well. They were quite alike actually. She was a big-time nerd too. And she preferred DC over Marvel. And like Scott and him, she wasn’t entirely an innocent sweet kid. Well, hardly a kid. She was two years older than Derek who was four years older than Stiles but the age never bothered him, in either case.

 

He and Laura started hanging out quite a bit. He went over to their apartment many a time to watch movies and nerd out over them with Laura. Derek would come home and just huff in annoyance as they got a bit too engrossed in the details. But Stiles knew it was all a show, Derek had grown quite fond of him over the years.

 

Stiles was already in love with him, though. And he had known for a while now. Even Laura had caught on months ago and she wasn’t subtle. She teased him endlessly but Derek was painfully oblivious. Stiles tried dropping hints about how he felt but it all escaped Derek.

 

So he did what he did best, he took control. He scored his first Lacrosse goal in his senior year and when he was dropping Derek home after the game, he took his chance. Derek was asking him what he wanted as a celebration gift and Stiles pushed Derek against the Jeep and kissed him like he had wanted for years. Derek froze for a second and Stiles was about to pull off and run away to Antarctica but then Derek put his hand on Stiles’ neck and kissed him back.

***

 

Stiles could not have had a better Senior year.

 

He had the best grades, he was first-string in Lacrosse and he was dating Derek Hale.

 

His Dad had looked at him funny when they had first told him but then pulled him in for a hug. He had also very-half-heartedly threatened to shoot Derek if he hurt Stiles and then invited Laura and Derek for dinner. 

 

Stiles was having the time of his life. He was looking at schools as the graduation got closer. He didn’t want to outright ask Derek to leave Beacon Hills for him - the rejection would kill him, he knew – so he started out subtly. He brought home brochures from schools on the East Coast and when Derek didn’t object or say anything he took it as confirmation that Derek was willing to move. Laura did look at him a little worried sometimes but he figured she was just thinking about being separated from her brother. After all, Derek had told him that he loved him. And that this wasn’t a teenage fling for him – you are twenty four, sourpuss- and that he wanted to marry Stiles some day.

 

So Stiles took the lack of objection as a go-ahead. The dinners were working out great, when they all sat at the Stilinski dinner table, Derek and Laura looked satisfied like finally they had found a family. His Dad was always ecstatic, he too perhaps felt like he had a complete family now. He loved a full house. And Stiles, he enjoyed having all the people he loved eating dinner together. It was perfect.

 

Which is why everything had to go to shit. Karma.

 

Stiles got an e-mail from Andrew Hennings. Hennings was a writer for the New York Times and Stiles had applied for an internship with him. He needed a writing Diploma to apply but with great writing pieces in his bag and a shinning recommendation from his English teacher, he had crossed his fingers and applied.

 

And got it.

 

Stiles was sitting in his room trying not to hyperventilate. He wanted to call Derek or go over right now to tell him. This was a dream job. The pay would be shit but the experience would be great and Stiles was still young. If he finished this, he would get a job for a major Paper before he turned twenty five. This was his dream.

 

He went to bed really excited that night after deciding to tell his Dad first and ask for his advice about telling Derek. He didn’t want to ruin this.

 

***

 

The next morning, he made his dad’s favorite breakfast and waited for him to come down. The Sheriff came down in his uniform and smiled at the food. Stiles sat him down and told him about the Internship.

 

“What do you want Stiles? I can tell a bribe when I see one.”

 

“Dad, I have good news.”

 

“Okay, so spill.”

 

“I applied for an Internship with this guy who writes for the NY Times. And I got it.”

 

His Dad stopped chewing and a look of panic crossed his face, he was good at hiding emotions though and in the next blink it was gone.

 

“So do you have to move? Or is it on-line?”

 

“Oh come on, Dad. On-line writing Internship? We haven’t modernized that much yet.”

 

His dad looked at him expectantly, he had thought it would be hard to leave his dad but if they both tried it could work. His Dad, however had decided to be no help right now and waited for Stiles to spell it out for him.

 

“Yes, Dad. I have to move to New York and it’s for two years so I’ll visit on holidays and stuff.”

 

Sheriff Stilinski had lost his wife years ago to Cancer and now his son wanted to move across the country. There was only so much pain he could hide from showing on his face but for the sake of his son, he tried.

 

“I’m proud of you, Stiles.”

 

He smiled widely - there was his dad. Stiles was really worried about leaving his Dad alone but that’s the thing he wasn’t so alone anymore. Ms. McCall and he had started going out recently and Stiles was sure that she’d take good care of him. He would never have even thought of leaving if he didn’t believe that. 

 

“Thanks, Dad.”

 

He got up and hugged his dad before settling back down.

 

“You deserve it, Son. But what about Derek? Have you told him yet?”

 

“Uh, well actually that’s what I wanted your help with. I’m planning on asking him tonight.”

 

“Asking him what?”

 

“To move. With me.”

 

“Oh, Stiles”

 

“What?”

 

“Son, I don’t want to sound discouraging here but I’m not sure that’s what you should be doing.”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“Ugh, Stiles. Look, he lost his whole family son and Laura’s the only one left. I don’t think it’s fair to ask him to leave her behind.”

 

“So what do you suggest?”

 

“I don’t know. Talk to him about it, you boys will figure something out. But just don’t have your hopes up too high.”

 

Stiles didn’t know what to say to that. His dad didn’t think Derek would come with him and that’s all he heard. Nothing else.

 

“I just don’t want you to get hurt.”

 

It didn’t matter anymore. 

 

Stiles went to his room and climbed into bed fully-clothed waiting for the clock to strike six so he could go talk to Derek when he returned from his job. It was hell, laying there in bed all day thinking about what his dad had said. 

 

Honestly, he did think of this outcome for like a minute last night but he’d thought it wasn’t likely.

 

He knew it was going to be hard for Derek to leave Laura but they were adults now and family moved away all the time. It happened all the time to people. He had thought that he was important enough for Derek to move with him. He realized that it wasn’t a competition between him and Laura about who mattered to Derek more but right now that’s what it felt like.

 

And that’s why he was shaking with anticipation and panic was gnawing at the back of his mind as he went to see Derek that day. He tried to mask his nervousness with a huge grin. 

 

When he sat Derek and Laura down in the kitchen and told them about the internship, his worst fear came true. Derek’s small smile straightened out and his mouth became a thin line. Laura looked worriedly at her brother and Stiles was losing faith. But he powered on.

 

“And I want you to come with me.” Stiles smiled at Derek because he needed the reassurance in his heart that Derek would say yes. He needed to believe.

 

Derek looked like his father had that morning and tears were streaming down Laura’s face. He refused to give up just yet.

 

“Derek, this is huge. It’s a once in a lifetime chance and I don’t want to miss it. So I want us to move to New York.” His eyes were trained on Derek to catch any sign of hesitation and then,

 

“Stiles,I—“

 

Stiles felt like he had lost a battle. Like everything he had worked so hard for and finally gotten was being snatched from him while he couldn’t do anything but stand there helplessly. He didn’t have enough energy to pretend or hide his nervousness anymore.

 

“I love you but I really need to do this. Are you coming with me or not?”

 

Stiles laid it all out. He bared his heart and soul in that moment. He knew Derek was never one to say everything he felt but Stiles didn’t have time for games anymore. It felt like he was slowly dying, losing blood or life maybe as it seeped out of him drop by drop.

 

He needed Derek to say that Yes, he was worth it. He was worth it for Derek to choose him.

 

“Stiles, I love you. More than anything but I can’t leave Beacon Hills. This is my home. Laura is my only family and I don’t want to leave her behind. I’ve never known anywhere else but here. Stiles, please.”

 

And just like, Stiles felt his world crumble around him. Shattered. It didn’t matter anymore what he said. Nothing mattered.

 

Derek got up and moved toward him but Stiles couldn’t help it when he flinched from the contact. Derek had just yanked his heart out from his chest. Stiles didn’t want to be anywhere near him.

 

Derek stepped back and then took something out of his pocket and placed it on the counter. A ring.

 

He was going to propose. Derek was going to ask Stiles to marry him.

 

He didn’t think it was possible to hurt anymore but when he touched the ring, it felt as if his heart was actually tearing up in pieces. He picked it up and silent tears fell down his cheeks. Laura was crying next to him but he couldn’t find it in his heart to console her. Not when he was hurting so bad himself. He just needed Derek to walk through that door and tell him that Stiles, you are worth it.

 

But he didn’t. Stiles stood there for god knows how long before he hugged Laura and started walking home. As he slipped into his bed again, he couldn’t help but feel like an idiot. An idiot who thought Derek would uproot his life for him. For thinking he was worth it.

 

As he thought of the ring, Stiles began doubting his decision. Obviously Derek loved him, that’s why he was going to propose - he never doubted that for a second. But what hurt him was that even if Derek was in love with him, he didn’t think enough of Stiles to even consider doing this for him. He had said ‘no’ straight away.

 

It hurt to think that Derek loved him but not enough to think of his happiness and his dreams. That Derek loved him as long as he stayed here. 

 

Stiles didn’t think that he’d ever get over this hurt in his life. He felt like he would always remember Derek’s rejection. He cried himself to sleep that night. That whole week he fell asleep on a wet pillow from all the silent tears that never stopped.

***

 

He told Scott the next day. And Allison. Scott was bawling in the middle of the café as Stiles had his arms around him to hold him and Allison rubbed his back. Scott cried like a baby for a solid ten minutes. People were looking at them funny but Scott had never cared much for people’s approval. When he finally calmed down, he asked about Derek. It was Stiles’ turn to cry and Scott’s to hold him while Allison soothingly rubbed his hair. Scott told him he would tell Derek about his plan. 

 

***

 

On Friday, Stiles was all packed up and ready to leave. His dad, Scott and Allison were driving with him to the airport but they were waiting for him at the coffee shop while he went to say goodbye to the Hales.

 

Laura opened the door for him and she looked she had been crying. Stiles pulled her into his arms, he may have resented Derek’s decision but he never felt anything but love for Laura. When she finally settled down a bit, she told him Derek was in his room. Stiles didn’t want to do this.

 

He wasn’t sure he could get through it. He wasn’t sure he could control himself when he saw Derek but he didn’t have to worry about it because Derek didn’t open his door. Stiles wasn’t sure if it hurt more or if he felt relieved more.

 

He knocked at the door many, many times every time dreading that Derek would reject him again- and he did. Derek refused to come out or speak. As Stiles said his name over and over, he realized that he wouldn’t be saying it for two years after this.

 

“Fine, have it your way. I’ve accepted the internship. It’s going to last two years and I probably won’t be back before then. I want to say goodbye, can you open the door?”

 

He still didn’t. Stiles could feel a panic-attack coming on but he pushed at it till it went away. He knocked but Derek didn’t answer. So, this was how it was going to be then. Goodbye.

 

“Okay. If this is what you want. I still love you.”

 

It killed him to say that. Just a few days ago in the same living room, Derek had told him that he wasn’t worth it for Derek to move across the country. It wasn’t easy standing here saying goodbye to the first man he had ever loved. And loved with every fiber of his being. It wasn’t. But he did it. Because he knew he wouldn’t be able to start a new life if he didn’t sort this. That he’d always be held back by Derek and by Beacon Hills.

 

Stiles turned around from Derek’s room and from Derek and started walking away.

 

“Stiles...”

 

“Laura, don’t. It’s already hard enough for me to leave.”

 

“Then don’t.”

 

“You know I can’t. Just take care of him for me.”

 

Stiles didn’t know what else to say. Derek may have rejected him but Stiles still loved him. Stiles would always love him. He walked out of the building with Laura in tow and gave in to the urge to look up once. To look at Derek’s window. And there he was.

 

Stiles couldn’t tear his eyes away for a moment but he knew that if he wanted his dream, if he wanted to get out of Beacon Hills, he had to leave. So he forced himself to look away. He hugged Laura one last time and climbed into his jeep and drove away. 

 

That was the last time he saw Derek Hale.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know how it was!  
> Come find me on tumblr at hoechl-bear(http://hoechl-bear.tumblr.com/)


	4. I played a losing game - 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is longer but it concludes Stiles' life in NY and then comes back to present-time. Have fun!

Leaving home was hard, he might have always thought of beacon Hills as a small town that trapped talent and choked dreams but it was still home. And it was still hard to leave it behind and start over in a strange new world. 

 

New York was nothing like he had expected. It was big but also small in that he found Hennings just an hour after landing and within three hours, the job had been explained to him and he was unpacking in the apartment he had leased online. It was a small, dingy place where he shared the bathroom and the kitchen with the whole floor. But at least he got his own room for a reasonable rent. Most of the people on the floor were students, he found out and not very interested in talking.

 

He started working on Monday and it was great. Stiles had always wanted to write like his mother did for the town paper but he wanted it big. Andrew Hennings was an excellent writer and that’s why the Times was paying him big bucks to write for them occasionally. Stiles hung on every word that came out of Andrew’s mouth. He was a good boss too, very professional and no favorites. After that first day, Stiles felt like he had finally done something good in his life, a satisfaction settled in him.

 

But it didn’t last long, as soon as he got home his Dad rang. He wanted to know everything and Stiles was so keen on sharing but his dad’s voice brought him to tears. He didn’t speak for a while and his dad didn’t either and Stiles knew that he was probably sobbing himself. When they settled down a little, Stiles told him everything about New York and his internship and his boss. His dad told him he was proud of him. Scott talked to him for some time, he had been pestering his dad to call Stiles for hours apparently.

 

But no one brought up Derek. Not that day and not any day afterward. It became an unspoken rule. Stiles cried himself to sleep that night. His dad used to let him sleep at Derek’s when he was working nights and he loved how Derek completely enveloped him in bed. And Stiles wanted that tonight. 

 

Days turned to weeks as he got busier with the internship. Andrew offered the interns a chance to work over-time on Christmas issues for important magazines over the holidays. Stiles accepted without giving it a second thought. His dad was disappointed and Scott fought with him. They didn’t need to say it but Stiles knew that they thought he wasn’t coming back because of Derek. It wasn’t totally untrue.

 

So that’s why he didn’t go home the first year and the second. By the end of the internship, Andrew had made them all apply with big names in the industry. He wrote Stiles a glowing recommendation and within the week, Stiles got a job as an Editorial Assistant for the New Yorker. He had gotten the best job among all the interns and Andrew had told him he deserved it with a proud pat on the back.

 

And Stiles was off. He told his dad and Scott about it after he had already accepted the job. His dad congratulated him and wished him good luck but Stiles could hear the disappointment in his voice, hurt that Stiles wasn’t coming back. But they both knew somewhere deep inside that Stiles never meant to go back to Beacon Hills. 

 

Scott outright accused him of taking the job just so he could run away from his family and his problems. He could hear Allison in the background telling him to calm down but he didn’t. Scott still didn’t bring up Derek but Stiles could hear it in his voice. He didn’t argue back, he just told him he’ll talk later and went to bed weeping. It had been over two years but Stiles still remembered every detail of that last time he had seen Derek and it still hurt. But he had learned to push it down over the years, just like Derek did.

 

On his first day at the New Yorker, he met Lydia Martin. She was everything Stiles would’ve wanted in a lover if he was into girls. It was a pity really because that one was a lose canon. A wild one and Stiles loved those. That’s why they became best friends within the first few days. Lydia was always brutally honest and dang observant. Nothing went past her. Most people stayed away from her because she could threaten like a Mafia boss and you’d see it in her eyes that she wasn’t bluffing. So when Stiles came along and refused to be scared and or manipulated, she made him her personal assignment. The only other person Lydia talked to – as opposed to leveling with threats and cold stares - was Boyd. Dude was like a silent movie, only talked when he needed to. He and Lydia made a good team and when time came to choose a team of three for the upcoming year, they decided to work together. It was a great year, all three of them were good at what they did and their Supervisor took notice. They were grouped together again for the next year.

 

When Stiles had been in NY for three years, he finally started feeling like he might just fit there. He still missed home and his dad and Scott but he had a life here now. His dad had another disappointing phone-call this year when he told him he couldn’t come home for the holidays. Scott refused to talk to him. Allison just wished him a quiet Merry Christmas before disconnecting. He felt guilty but he also knew that if he went back, he’d be sucked back in. It might have been three years but Derek still had his heart. Stiles knew that if he saw Derek again, he won’t be able to hold back. And seeing his dad would be rough. So he stayed late night at the office distracting himself on the last working day and Lydia caught him. She and Boyd didn’t go home for the holidays either, so the three of them went drinking and skating on Christmas Eve. They stayed in Lydia’s apartment the whole week, just lazing around and drinking all day till New Years. 

 

Everything was going great, work was wonderful. He had had a chance to edit an entire article by himself. His supervisor was impressed and promised another article soon. Lydia and Boyd were great company for night-outs. He was thinking less of Beacon Hills now. His dad called less often. Scott hadn’t called in a while. And there were days when Stiles had to force himself to stop thinking about Derek but most days, he was okay.

 

Then one day as he was walking home after a busy day, he ran into Andrew, his old boss. Except this was a totally different Andrew. He invited Stiles for a coffee to the café they were standing outside and Stiles accepted. He had always thought very highly of his boss.

 

While Andrew was very professional when they had worked together, this guy sitting across from him was different- he was very open and he paid so much attention to Stiles that he couldn’t help but blush. He hadn’t blushed in years – except when Lydia said the most crude things to make people uncomfortable. Andrew told him he had a confession- he had had a crush on Stiles since he first saw him but he didn’t want to make any unprofessional advances. Stiles sat there dumbfounded, he didn’t know what to say. And Andrew started babbling nervously because he thought Stiles wasn’t gay and it was the cutest thing he’d ever seen. Andrew was always so eloquent but here he was reduced to incoherent words and Stiles started laughing. 

 

After a lot of explaining they were finally on the same page and Andrew asked him out on a date that Friday. Stiles said yes. 

 

On his way out, his eyes fell on the café’s glass windows and the seats lining the wall. His heart skipped as he thought back to years ago when he had found Derek sitting on a seat like that. Lost to the world. Andrew put his hand on his back to guide him out. Stiles was numb.

 

Their date went great, Andrew listened silently as Stiles went on and on about anything and everything. But he looked at Stiles with so much attention like he was transfixed. Stiles hadn’t had that in a while. He fell for Andrew that night.

 

When he dropped him off at his apartment building, Andrew held the door for Stiles. They stood close, not talking just breathing and then Andrew leaned forward and kissed him so gently, their lips barely touching. Stiles didn’t want to let go, he hadn’t slept with anyone in four years but he didn’t want to rush into this either. They said their good-nights and Stiles went to bed feeling equal parts happy and guilty that night.

 

It was the start of something beautiful. Stiles never had to force anything, he never had to make an effort. It was always easy with Andrew. He always knew the right thing to say. When his lease expired five months later, Andrew asked him if he wanted to move in and he said yes. 

 

He had moved everything in one day and this was his home now. Their home. They made love that night, it was always feather light touches and delicate hands with Andrew. He was so gentle with Stiles. Sometimes Stiles craved ferocity, rough calloused hands but he refused to ruin what they had built together. 

 

Last year, Stiles got an offer to write for the New York Magazine. This was what he had been waiting for, his big chance. He took it. Drew had put in a good word for him and his previous supervisor had essentially made him out to be the greatest writer ever. His new supervisor was already impressed and he hadn’t even written anything yet.

 

On his birthday next month, Drew told him he had a surprise for him. Stiles had always said how he wanted to star gaze. How much he wanted a big telescope on the roof to see what all the fuss was about in the movies. Drew told him to come to the roof that night.

 

“It’s really clear out today. Good.”

 

‘Oh god, you big doofus’ Stiles had thought fondly expecting to see a telescope. But when he went up, he saw a table with two candles lit on it and Drew came out of the shadows and kneeled in front of him. He was still trying to process the candles.

 

“Stiles Stilinski, I love you. I’ve loved you for the last two years. I want to share my life with you. Will you marry me?”

 

Stiles was still processing the candles. And there was a ring.

 

“Stiles?"

 

“Come on, don’t leave me hanging here. Come on, babe.”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Yes?”

 

“Yes. Yeah. Let’s do this.”

 

Drew had laughed at him for being so serious – like we’re going to war ‘Let’s do this’. He slipped the ring on his finger but Stiles hadn’t gotten there yet. He was now thinking about Drew’s proposal and by the time his brain caught up with him, Drew was asleep next to him on their bed. He lay awake all night feeling the weight of the ring on his finger-thinking back to another time. 

 

Lydia had smiled devilishly at him when she saw the ring. He had never seen her smile so wide, it was terrifying. Boyd congratulated him and patted him on the back. He had started talking more around Stiles but still on a ‘necessary’ basis. He had come out to Stiles though sometime in their first year of knowing each other but he was not the kind to discuss men or his personal life so promiscuous was the last thing Boyd was. Stiles had made great friends in his new life.

 

Lydia ordered him to tell her how Andrew proposed and she still wasn’t satisfied after the third time. She called Andrew and he caved under pressure and asked both Boyd and her to join them for dinner. Lydia made Andrew tell her the story again. Twice.

 

By the end of the week, he was so tired of her. He would get annoyed by the words ‘propose’ or ‘fiancé’ or ‘story’. He refused to write a piece on Engagements and Weddings when his supervisor assigned him. But after some explaining, he was reassigned. That was a relief. 

 

His life returned to its usual pace when his engagement became old news. Stiles hadn’t told his dad about it yet. He didn’t even know about Andrew yet because Stiles felt like he would be upset with him for moving on. He was probably not giving his dad enough credit. 

 

John Stilinski loved his son unconditionally. Stiles was never afraid that his dad wouldn’t accept him when he came out. He never worried that he wouldn’t accept Derek. His dad was the greatest. So it was possibly just Stiles projecting his own guilt and insecurity onto his old man. But either way, he didn’t tell his dad. 

 

Stiles still worried about his dad constantly. He had asked him to retire and move up here, closer to him. Stiles made enough money now and the Sheriff could just sell the house and live comfortably here. But that conversation never worked out. It always ended with accusations, painful words and returned plane tickets. So he didn’t bother anymore.

 

Which was why the dream had caught him so off guard. A fear had settled deep in his heart when he woke up, fear that he might not see his dad again if he didn’t go now. Drew stayed up with him, rubbing his back and forcing him to drink water. He took Stiles out to sit in the balcony and sat him in his lap and stayed there till the sun came up.

 

Stiles told him about his plan to travel home. Drew didn’t say anything. He didn’t ask Stiles to go with him. He never asked Stiles to tell his dad about them. He hadn’t asked Stiles to tell his dad about the engagement. He never said it but Stiles knew he was thinking it. Stiles knew that Drew suspected there had been another man in Stiles’ life. And that this man still had some part of him. But he never said it and Stiles ignored the need to clarify it.

 

Drew had taken the morning off and driven Stiles to the airport the next day. As Stiles stood there, shaking with nervous energy and anticipation, Andrew had wrapped his arms around him kissed his forehead and said goodbye.

 

***

 

Stiles woke up the next day and decided to get coffee again even though seeing Kate yesterday was a disaster. She had smiled so wide at him like she’d been waiting for him to come while everyone else frowned when he went in. What was that all about? What had he done to deserve glaring form every single customer in the shop? He chalked it down to him being back after a long time and looking different but the uneasiness was still there when he entered today. 

 

People still looked at him displeased. He went to the counter and Victoria Argent smiled at him. In high school, she was the scariest person in town for Stiles. Now, he obviously never said it out loud-she was Allison’s Mom after all- but she always scared the living crap out of him and she looked kind of odd. But he put on his best smile now and greeted her. He could feel eyes on him but he didn’t want to turn and acknowledge that people were staring at him. Why? It’s not like he had done something to offend everyone. Or anyone for that matter. 

 

He paid for his coffee, ducked his head and turned around to leave but stopped mid-step as his eyes fell on the stools lining the glass window of the shop. The window where he had more or less cornered Derek into talking and after years of dry, one-sided conversations finally admitted to Scott that yes, he was in love with Derek Hale. The window that he was reminded of in that New York café on his first date with Andrew. He felt his throat tighten but he pushed the feeling away and ran out of the shop and straight into Derek.

 

Quite the luck, there.

 

Derek squinted down at him and Stiles was finally looking at him after six long years. That first day, he had hardly been able to comprehend that Derek was there before he had left in a hurry. But now he was finally looking at him. In a Deputy’s uniform. 

 

Derek looked different, there were no frown lines on his forehead and he wasn’t currently glaring, scowling or frowning at him. That used to be his default expression. But now Derek’s looking at him with a mostly neutral but a bit amused face. And that’s the only reason Stiles stutters.

 

“Uh, hey hi I was just uh…“

 

“Buying coffee at the coffee shop?” Derek asked with a bit of a smirk playing on his lips. That was certainly new.

 

“Uh yeah, I was going to see my Dad.”

 

“Oh, well I’m going in. Let me get my coffee then I’ll give you a ride.”

 

“No, no that’s okay. I’ll walk.” 

 

“Stiles.”

 

He had started walking a little to imply that he was fine walking to the Station but when he heard that, his feet wouldn’t move. This was the first time Derek had talked to him in years. That day wasn’t talking, that day was Stiles in the background as Derek talked to Wade. 

 

This was the first time he had heard Derek say his name. He said it just like everyone else said it but different. It had a pull on his chest and thereabouts. And he was a teenage high-school girl right now obsessing over a crush. 

 

“Yeah, okay.”

 

This was why he didn’t want to come back here. He may have moved on in life but he knew in his heart of hearts that Derek was his undoing. His one true weakness and always will be. His Achilles heel.

 

Derek moved around him to go into the shop and Stiles followed. As the door opened everyone looked up from their crosswords or whatever the fuck they were doing and saw Derek. What followed was confusing for Stiles to say the least. They all looked at Derek and then creepily in-sync turned to look at Stiles and then back at Derek who cleared his throat and cue everyone return to their crosswords. What? Stiles had no idea what was happening here. He didn’t remember the town being this small or the people being this involved in others’ lives.

 

Derek walked up to the counter and hello there, Victoria Argent’s super smile. Literally rainbows and unicorns. Wow, Derek must be really doing something right. He got his coffee and passed Stiles who was looking at the window again. Derek walked out ahead of him, holding the door for Stiles. Right.

 

He led Stiles to his cruiser and he got into a patrol car for the first time in six years. It was kept obsessively clean-his dad would be proud-and Derek looked so in place. Like he fit there perfectly. As Stiles was doing his silent observation thing, Derek started driving silently and Stiles for some odd reason thought about what Drew would think about this. Stiles sitting in the passenger seat of a police cruiser being taken to his dad. 

 

Derek’s phone rang and he picked up after a rushed ‘excuse me’ directed at Stiles. He looked over and saw Derek put the phone to his ear,

 

“Hey.” That’s all he said. No name. ‘Hey’ that was something you said to familiar people that you’re comfortable with. So what? Derek had a girlfriend now? Boyfriend? Partner? Stiles felt his stomach drop at that. He berated himself for thinking like this. How could he think of this? When he, himself was committed to someone else.

 

“Scott, you don’t have to yell, I can hear you.”

 

Stiles turned his head sharply to look at Derek when he said that. Scott? His Scott? His bestfriend Scott? Well, not really. Not Anymore. That was because they lost touch. When you move away, you grow apart from people who are not in the same time-zone. That’s just how it is. Because life is cruel.

 

And because Scott’s biggest problem was how to get back together with Allison after yet another break-up. Or what to get her for her birthday. While Stiles worried about how he was going to get this month’s rent. There’s only so much you can do when that’s how different your lives became. He didn’t hold a grudge though. He missed Scott. When you’ve known someone for as long as they’d been friends, you become a part of them. Losing Scott was like losing a limb. Like losing family. So many times in the years past, Stiles had turned to his right - Scott was always to his right - to check Scott’ reaction or to show him something only to realize that Scott wasn’t there. 

 

And now he had been in town for three days and no Scott.

 

“Yeah. I know, I wasn’t well. Yes. Okay. I’ll make sure. I’m driving in now. Fine, I’ll do it. Yes, Allison I did hear you scream from the kitchen. Okay bye.”

 

Derek put his phone down as he parked his car and made a move to get out. Stiles was frozen in place. That sounded so domestic. Allison yelling at Derek through the phone? And just then a thought formed in his mind ‘This could’ve been your life. This was your life. You gave it up.’ He felt like he was going to be sick.

 

But he got himself up and followed Derek into the station. And like was the case every time Stiles walked in, everyone forgot what they were doing to look up. Derek slowed for a second before clearing his throat loudly and every single head dropped away.

 

Okay, this was weird. Stiles knew there was something going on here. So what, people liked staring at him but the second Derek cleared his head or looked pointedly at someone Stiles wasn’t interesting anymore? So Derek was like the town hero or something? What was happening?

 

He rushed to his dad’s office who was looking up from his desk like he had been up all night worrying about him. Except he wasn’t looking at him, he was looking at Derek. What was with this town and Derek? Was he like the new baby everyone thought they had to protect? What?

 

“Sheriff?”

 

“Derek. Are you better now?”

 

“Yes, sir. I’ll just get started then.” Derek smiled at his dad and yes, as weird things went this was pretty weird. Stiles had seen Derek smiling twice in less than twenty minutes. So things had changed around here while he was gone. Surprise Surprise.

 

His dad looked at him finally when Derek walked out. Finally remember you have a son, Dad? Stiles sat down across from him and started talking.

 

“Hey Dad, you’re okay right?”

 

“Yes Stiles, I‘m okay. Why do you ask?”

 

“I’ve been worried about you for a while.”

 

“Got a funny way of showing it, son.”

 

“I’m here now, aren’t I?”

 

“Yeah, okay.”

 

Silence for five minutes as Stiles tried to word his next question carefully.

 

“So I hear Laura’s married.”

 

His dad sharply looked up from his paperwork. Interesting.

 

“Yeah she and your Chemistry teacher got married, what four years ago.”

 

“Mr. Harris??!!!”

 

“Yeah him. He’s a good guy.”

 

“He’s a good—are you kidding me?! He’s like the second coming of Lucifer.”

 

“Adrian’s a decent guy. And Laura has him on a short leash.”

 

“Oh my god, did she lose her mind or something. She actually willingly married him?”

 

“Well, he’s changed a lot. I remember him from your parent-teacher conferences and yeah okay, he really hated you. But Laura’s got him all trained now. Poor guy has a hard time with the kids though. You’ll like him.”

 

“Yeah, I doubt that. So, kids?”

 

“Yeah they have two. Erica’s turning four next month and Jackson’s one. Here”

 

His dad handed him a photo from his desk. It was Laura in a hospital gown holding a tiny, very red baby and his dad was sitting next to her. He was looking longingly at another photo and handed it over too.

 

It was Derek. He was wearing a white button-up shirt and he was holding a wrapped up baby in his arms looking down at it and a little girl about three years old was standing on a table next to him and looking up at Derek. Stiles melted.

 

As he was busy staring at the photo, he realized his dad was talking.

 

“… and then Derek carried her into the hospital just minutes before her water broke. I was patrolling and got a report about a young man leaving his car on the street unmanned and running away. When I got there I realized it was Derek and I panicked. But just then Melissa called me to say Derek had just brought Laura in. And we both waited for hours before Adrian could get back to town and finally she gave birth to this little monster. She came out kicking and screaming. Jackson was more quiet. He looks like he’s silently judging people though and he’s only one. Erica’s really stubborn and ever since Jackson came along she’s gotten insecure and she really fights for Derek’s attention. Those two are inseparable. But whenever he picks Jackson up Erica starts glaring. Laura blames Derek for teaching her that. And Jackson really seems to hate Derek. He starts crying whenever Derek’s even near. He’s getting better though.”

 

Stiles sat there listening to his dad go on and on about Laura’s kids. And it was like he was talking about his own grandkids. That’s when Stiles realized that’s what they were to him – his grandkids.

 

That felt like a punch to the gut. It made him feel excluded from something important. Like he was missing out on something everyone else was included in. And hearing his dad talk so fondly about the kids made him want to be included. 

 

Allison was pregnant too, Victoria had told him. He really wanted to meet her now and Scott and work out their differences. He didn’t want to miss out on anymore kids.

 

“Allison’s pregnant too, right?”

 

“Oh yeah, she’s due next month. Scott’s been looking like a lost puppy for months. He’s always worried she’s going to go into labor. Allison had a stomach ache about three months ago and he called Derek and me in the middle of the night all freaked out. We had to slip him sleeping pills. Allison was more worried about him.”

 

Stiles felt like crying in that moment. His best friend was going to have a baby and he had been hiding away in the city. Scott hadn’t even told him and neither had his dad. But he didn’t blame them, the phone calls home had long ago stopped being about people. They were now just a count of Stiles being alive and his dad being alive and that’s about it.

 

“Hey Dad, I was thinking about seeing Scott.”

 

“Wait, what day is it?”

 

“Thursday?”

 

“They’ll all be going to the bar later tonight. You should go but it’s better if you talk to Scott before then. He might not like you crashing without a heads-up.”

 

And that was all that needed to be said about their friendship. That’s what it had come down to - seeking permission before he could meet Scott. And it was his own fault for pushing him away. For pushing them all away.

 

“Yeah, I’ll do that. So Scott is…”

 

“Working at the hospital like his Mom. And Allison works down at the shooting Range only she’s on Maternity Leave right now. He’s working a shift right now if you want to go.”

 

“Yeah, I’ll go now. Thanks Dad.”

 

“No problem, kid. He’ll be glad to see you.”

 

Stiles walked to the hospital that was just two blocks away from the Station. He had said goodbye to his dad and walked out, looking around for Derek---David. David. He was looking for David not Derek. But he wasn’t there. David wasn’t there. Neither was Derek but he wasn’t looking for Derek. Okay.

 

He saw Ms. McCall at the desk and she smiled up at him as he reached her.

 

“I’ve been waiting for you.”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Yeah, he’s in the Pediatrics Lounge.”

 

“Thanks, Ms. McCall.”

 

“You know, you should stop calling me that, you’re not eighteen anymore.”

 

“Ah, yeah--we’ll discuss that at home. I gotta go find Scott…”

 

“Yeah Yeah”

 

Stiles got lost in the hallways flooding with people even though he was following directions. When he finally reached the Pediatrics Lounge, he stood at the door looking in and found Scott sitting on the floor surrounded by a dozen kids. He was wearing a crown and his cheeks were red, his lips a very dark shade of pink and he had a pearl necklace around his neck. The kids were all laughing at him and Scott had on his unabashed grin. 

 

Stiles was taken back about fifteen years when Scott had dressed up as a Disney Princess for Halloween after losing a bet to Stiles. For a moment it felt like no time had passed and they were still as close as they ever were. Then Scott looked up and saw Stiles. Stiles gave a short wave in his direction and Scott got up and waved over a young girl who Stiles hadn’t noticed till now. He proceeded to wipe the make-up off.

 

“Hey, I’m taking my break now. Can you cover for me?”

 

“Sure.”

 

Scott walked out but he didn’t stop when he reached Stiles. He kept walking and led Stiles to a park across the street from the hospital. He went on to sit on a bench and Stiles sat down beside him. They were both silent but Stile knew it was his turn to talk first. He had been too quiet for years.

 

“You looked like you did that year on Halloween.”

 

“Stiles.”

 

“Yeah, okay okay I’m sorry. Scott, man I miss you.”

 

“I miss you too.”

 

Stiles turned his head sharply, Scott was looking down at his feet. Stiles smiled a little, this was going to be so much easier than he had imagined.

 

“I’m sorry I’ve been such a dick. But I really needed to do that for myself. It was a great opportunity and now I have an amazing job. I’m sorry I didn’t come back. But if I had, I wouldn’t have been able to leave again. You and Dad and Allison. It just, it was complicated. I’m sorry, buddy.”

 

“You were a dick.”

 

“Yes. Yes, I was.”

 

“A very big dick.”

 

“Well, would you like to confirm?”

 

“Stiiiiles...”

 

Scott whined and Stiles got up and pulled him into a hug. It had been a while but Scott still gave the best hugs. He put his whole body into it and Stiles felt like he had gone back a couple years. 

 

“I love you, Scott McCall.”

 

“Shut up. That’s how the rumors started.”

 

They both laughed and sat back down. It had been a while since he had thought back to High-school and the special brand of hell that had been. But with Scott, it was worth it.

 

“So Allison’s expecting?”

 

“What?”

 

“You know child, offspring, spawn.”

 

“Oh yeah, she’s really close now. We’ve had so many false alarms I always wake up in the middle of the night and run outside with my car keys and wallet and Allison laughs at me. They’re all so mean.”

 

Scott pouted and Stiles thought back to what his dad had told him about Scott calling him months ago about Allison going into labor. It was hard not to laugh, but for his friend he tried.

 

“Derek and your dad are the worst. They gave me sleeping pills one time. Allison’s really big now too.”

 

“You haven’t told her that, have you?”

 

“I did by mistake but she just laughed at me and said I looked scared.”

 

Of course, Allison would laugh if Scott called her big. That’s how these two worked. 

 

“I just can’t wait for her to come.”

 

Scott had a faraway look in his eyes as he stared into the distance.

 

“Her?”

 

“Oh yeah, it’s a girl. I’m so excited, Stiles.”

 

“Yeah buddy, I am too.”

 

Scott looked at him surprised and Stiles felt another wave of guilt at how Scott doubted that Stiles would be happy for him. Scott’s face changed into a huge grin and that was infectious.

 

“Oh god with her little feet and her little hands.”

 

“Yeah and her cute little frocks”

 

“Oh God just imagine when she starts talking. And going to school.”

 

“And when she starts dating.”

 

“No.”

 

“No.”

 

They both looked at each other with worried faces and mentally making up scenarios about threatening and killing future potential boyfriends. They sat there for a while talking about anything and everything. Scott gave him Allison’s number and then ran into the hospital.

 

“My break’s over but I better see you at the bar later.”

 

Scott was walking backwards threatening to maim if Stiles didn’t go tonight. Well, who was he to deny orders.

 

He called Allison when Scott had run in. She picked up on the second try.

“Allison?”

 

“Stiles?”

 

“Hey.”

 

“Hi.”

 

“It’s been a while.”

 

“Yeah, it has.”

 

“So you’re spawning, according to your boyfriend.”

 

“Oh god Stiles, who even says spawning anymore? Wait-you talked to Scott?”

 

“Yeah, I’m actually sitting outside the hospital right now. We talked for about an hour and he asked me to come to the bar tonight. I wanted to check with you.”

 

“Why do you need to check with me? Of course I want you to come. It’s been so long, I can’t wait to see you.”

 

“Me too. Scott says you’re huge.”

 

“I am. I can’t wait for her to pop out, it’s been fun and all but it’s gone on too long.”

 

“Allison Argent, it’s a baby. Of course it’s been nine months.”

 

“Yeah well, you haven’t had one inside you so shut up.”

 

“Okay, point taken.”

 

Stiles walked back to his house talking to Allison about the baby and the bigger baby that was Scott McCall. It was always easy to talk to Allison, she looked all rainbows and flowers but she was badass and Stiles knew that first hand from all the archery he had seen her do. 

 

When he got back home, it was already lunch time. He plopped down on the couch with Star Wars on Netflix and a pizza coming in twenty minutes. All was good in life. 

 

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sterek at the bar next chapter. Finally words get out and a confrontation! I'll update within the week. Don't forget to leave a comment.


	5. Remember to forget

Stiles woke up hours later when his Dad yelled at him not five inches from his ear. 

 

“Son wake up.” Stiles flailed about as he got up in a hurry. His balance was questionable at the best of times- In this sleepy, surprised scared state he ended up on his ass on the floor while his dad laughed throwing his head back, standing over him.

 

“You are evil. Bad parent.”

 

Stiles pouted up at the Sheriff who looked unfazed by Stiles’ chiding.

 

“Oh please, you have been snoring and drooling on that couch for hours. Melissa has been tiptoeing around you since she came back three hours ago. And if I hadn’t waken you you’d have slept through the night.”

 

Stiles slowly got up and looked out the window behind his dad. He was right, it was dark out.

 

Stiles was supposed to go out to the bar tonight. Shit.

 

“John, look at his face. How can you tease him with that adorable pout? You are evil. Stiles, it’s just nine. You should go get ready, Scott just called to say he got off work. You’re not late.”

 

“Oh thank you, thank you. Sweet Angel, you. And you, you are going to get salad for lunch and dinner for the rest of the week.”

 

As a dark look came over the Sheriff’s face, Stiles chuckled. 

 

“That’s what you get for messing with me Daddy-o.”

 

He ran up the stairs- two at a time to get a towel and rush into the shower. His dad may have been mean but he wasn’t wrong. Stiles still drooled in his sleep not that he wouldn’t deny it to his grave. Within twenty minutes, he was dressed up in a navy button-down and tight, dark jeans. His dad raised an eyebrow at him from his place on the dinner table while Melissa smiled and told him he looked great. Stiles winked at her and got into his jeep to drive to Moe’s. 

 

The place looked just like it did when Stiles was last here. Not that he was old enough to drink back then. Or that anyone was stupid enough to slip the Sheriff’s kid alcohol. But he and Scott had come in a couple times to play pool. He had come here with Derek sometimes too. Derek. Right, he was here too. Scott had said. He parked the jeep and quickly made his way in through the well-worn wooden door.

 

Inside, his eyes fell on Scott immediately because he was literally sprawled on the bar-top. And also because a huge, blotted Allison was sitting next to him running her hands through Scott’s hair. Stiles started walking towards them, Scott spotted him first and his head lifted so fast towards him Stiles was afraid he got whiplash. As he walked up to them, Scott beamed at him and got up to hug him. Stiles felt like he was taken back to high-school when Scott would always hug him when they met even if they were together just hours ago. Stiles turned to Allison with a huge smile on his face, she had one of her own. Stiles moved forward to wrap his arms around her.

 

“Oh god, you are huge.”

 

“Stiles, always the charmer.”

 

“Oh please, you love me.”

 

“That I do.”

 

Scott pouted at her as if she could ever put someone before him.

 

“After you, babe.”

 

Scott was supposed to be a 24-year old mature expecting father but here he was smiling at Allison because she said she loved him. Some things never do change. 

 

Stiles looked around a bit, he knew what he was looking for but it’s not like he was going to admit it so. When he turned back, Laura was standing behind Scott looking at him with a shit-eating grin on her face. 

 

Stiles suddenly remembered how she had looked when he had last seen her. Tears streaming down her face as she stood outside Derek’s apartment as Stiles got in his jeep to drive to the airport. And now here she was grinning and looking like she had grown up in the six years he had seen her. 

 

Stiles moved forward and put his arms around her, Laura pulled him even tighter and something settled deep in him. He had now met everyone he thought about and missed in the years gone. It now felt like he was home. Laura didn’t let go for a good minute and Stiles didn’t mind in the least bit. In his last two years here, Laura and he had become even closer. He had missed her terribly in New York. Although the fact that Laura and Lydia had never met was something he was thankful for, almost on a regular basis. Lydia had reminded him of Laura countless times, both women possessed a certain edge and emitted waves of dangerous and dark vibes that people were afraid to even be in the same room with. Thank god, those two didn’t know each.

 

“It’s been a long time.”

 

“So it’s been.”

 

“So you have spawn, I hear?”

 

“That I do. Two, yes.”

 

“Yeah, my dad told me.”

 

“Don’t listen to him. He’s just happy because they like him. And he doesn’t have to feed them and bathe them and raise them. He just likes being called ‘Grampa’”.

 

Laura’s kids called his dad ‘Grampa’? What? He filed that tidbit aside for later.

 

“He did say he loved them. But what threw me was you married Mr. Harris? Were you hurt on the head or something?”

 

Scott sniggered next to him and Laura looked a mixture of exasperation and amusement as if she’d already had this discussion countless times. Well, her fault for making such stupid decisions.

 

“Oh sure you too. Although I do remember you telling me how horrible he was. Oh yeah, you used to come around complaining about what a dick he was for giving you detention every other day.” Laura was smiling that creepy smile where you could see all her teeth. It was scary.

 

“Did you marry him just to get back at Scott and me?”

 

“Yes, Stiles I married him just to annoy you and then I had two kids with him.”

 

“Just checking.”

 

“No, Adrian’s nice. He can be scary when he wants to be but right now he’s got his hands full with diapers and baby food. I like seeing the look of panic on his face when Jackson starts crying. It’s priceless.”

 

Stiles subconsciously took a step back from her as Laura threw her head back to laugh. Remind Stiles to never cross paths with her. But then his mind conjured up an image of Mr. Harris looking horrified with a crying baby in his arms and diapers strewn about and another kid--Erica screaming her lungs out at him. He felt a smile crawl onto his lips at the image, this was payback. Karma, bitch. He absently looked over and judging by the knowing look Scott shot him, he was thinking along the same lines.

 

“Can I get a picture? Or see it live, maybe?”

 

“Sure, come around and I’ll introduce you to Erica. We can watch as he struggles with Jackson. He gets really loud when he’s woken up mid-sleep. It’s always fun to watch Adrian flailing about. We can have popcorn too.”

 

Stiles was just now remembering how evil Laura really was. All those years ago she had actually planned to spray ‘skunk-pee’ inside Kate’s car. By the time she had told Stiles, she’d already bought it from the local hunting store and snagged Kate’s keys. It had been a struggle to talk her down to just tp’ing and glitter-bombing the car. She was something fierce back then and by the looks of it, she still was. 

 

“Remind me never to disagree with you.”

 

“Oh what’s the matter? You scared, Stilinski? Forgot your balls at home?”

 

“Yeah your husband came around saying he couldn’t find his.”

 

It wasn’t until after he had said it that he realised how it sounded. Wrong. 

 

Scott let out a whine that seemed to make everyone laugh and forget what he’d said. As Laura started talking with Allison about babies, Stiles turned to look around the bar again. As his eyes swept the place, they landed on the booth directly behind Scott. Stiles recognised that back, he could recognise that back from the twelfth floor-Derek. Stiles moved around a bit to get a better look. He was facing someone in the booth, a girl. A date.

 

Derek was on a date. He was listening intently to a dark-haired woman talk excitedly with a lot of hand gestures-Derek was always a good listener. Stiles’ eyes got stuck on Derek’s back as he listened to the conversation going on around him. He felt uneasy standing there, like he was being stabbed in the gut while he stood helpless. He turned away sharply and took a seat next to Scott but not before he caught Laura looking at him curiously. He refused to acknowledge her and ordered shots for everyone. After he chugged two tequila shots, he looked back to the booth where Derek was. He was still turned away from him and busy with his date.

 

Stiles wanted him to turn. He wanted Derek to turn just once and see him, acknowledge him. Just once. But he didn’t. Stiles felt like something was being ripped out of him, he was restless as he downed another shot. Turn, just once.

 

Before he knew it, Stiles was totally out of it. Five shots later, he was all but lying on the bar top and raising his head every two seconds to look around and check if now Derek was looking at him. But he wasn’t. Laura had left sometime around the third shot mumbling something about stupid men. Scott was busy showing him photos of Allison on his phone while she herself was talking to another woman sitting next to her. She looked suspiciously like Heather but Stiles was too out of it to know for sure. He was too far gone.

 

Then he felt a hand on his shoulder and he lifted his head instantly hoping it was Derek who had finally spotted him. It wasn’t. It was Isaac Lahey. They had played lacrosse together in high school and Stiles and Scott had hung out with after school in the final year sometimes. He was a shadow of his earlier self, Stiles noted, his deep blue eyes and curly hair still like it used to be years ago.

 

“Stiles? Wow you look like shit!”

 

“Thanks, man.”

 

“I just mean—“

 

“No, no I know. It’s okay.”

 

“So, how’s life in New York?”

 

That irritated Stiles for some reason. The mention of New York brought along Andrew. His fiancé who he hadn’t talked to in three days. Dammnit.

 

“Oh, it’s okay y’know. Busy.”

 

“Yeah, I can imagine. So what brings you back to Beacon Hills?”

 

Stiles was about to say something stupid. He knew it. But thankfully so did Scott because he cut him off—

 

“I left something here—“

 

“Let’s play pool. Isaac? Stiles?”

 

“Yeah, pool. Let’s play that.” 

 

Stiles was definitely too drunk to play but that was a better option than say or do something he couldn’t take back. As he stood up though, someone bumped into him from behind. 

 

“Watch where you’re going, asshole!”

 

Stiles was aware that he was loud. And rude. But so was the person who had just shoved him. So, they could deal.

 

“Whoa, hey calm down dude—“

 

“You calm down. And don’t call me ‘dude’.” Scott pulled at Stiles’ elbow in an attempt to pull him away and not get his skull beaten in in a bar fight. And Stiles had started walking too but Isaac just had to go and open his stupid mouth, didn’t he?

 

“Hey Allison, you grab a stick too. If you can’t find one, just pull the one stuck up Stiles' ass.”

 

Everyone else seemed to find this hilarious, even Scott snorted before he schooled his feature back to normal. 

 

“Why don’t you just go to a gay bar huh, Isaac?”

 

Silence. Everyone stopped what they were doing. Huh. So apparently Stiles had just outed Isaac to the town. Well, it’s not like they were homophobic or anything. In fact, everyone in this town was fiercely supportive of their own. Isaac was one of them, they would accept him no matter what. So yeah, not that much damage, Stiles thought.

 

Someone muttered something about Stiles being a dick to Isaac. He was about to respond calmly when Isaac once again just couldn’t stay quiet.

 

“It’s okay, I’d be too if the New Yorker had to publicly apologize for an article I wrote.”

 

Oh no he didn’t. The little shit.

 

That was the article he had written in place of the Engagements and Weddings spread he was supposed to do but had refused. It was a small misunderstanding. He had accidentally released names in the article and since he was responsible for editing too, it came down on him when the mentioned couple had called his supervisor angrily demanding an apology. It had been a tough week last week but he was over it now. Lydia had handled it all really well when she had told her he was going to be taking off for some time. His supervisor had agreed that a vacation was a good idea. And that’s why he was finally able to come see his dad. 

 

The nightmare had scared him shitless and he knew it was the stress from the whole misunderstanding that had caused the dream in the first place. The next morning he had called his supervisor to ask for a leave and he was on the plane four hours later.

 

“What? You know what, at least I did something. I got out of this shitty town and made something of myself not like all of—“

 

“Alright.”

 

That’s all he heard before a strong arm circled its way around his chest and pulled him away from where he was about to undoubtedly say stupid things. Stupider than what he’d already said. He was still processing that he was no longer shouting at people when he was pushed through the doors and he looked up to see Derek standing there looking down at him.

 

He looked angry and worried at the same time, Stiles felt his throat tighten as he realized that Derek had interrupted his date to pull him out of the bar. 

 

“You don’t get to do that here, you hear me, Stiles? You don’t. Act like you’re better than all of us. Just go home.”

 

Derek turned around and started walking, leaving Stiles there.

 

“Wait, what are you doing?”

 

“Leaving. You done it. Recognise the gesture.”

 

Right through the heart. Why did Derek have to say that? Did he know how much he hurt Stiles by saying that? Did he do that on purpose?

 

“Going back to your girlfriend?”

 

“Go home, Stiles.”

 

“So what? You’re straight now?”

 

“I don’t ask about your boyfriend, you stay out of my life. Deal?” 

 

“What? How do you—“

 

“Just ‘cuz I talk slow doesn’t mean I’m stupid, Stiles.”

 

“Okay, so what? You’re gonna go in and have your date? Your little girlfriend waiting for you to come and give her 2.5 kids and a white picket fence?”

 

Derek was standing dangerously close to him and his voice was accusatory, his face angry as he pointed at Stiles.

 

“That’s none of your business.” 

 

“You’ll always be my business.”

 

Before he knew what he was doing, Stiles had spun them around and now he had Derek pinned to the wall as he looked shocked down at Stiles. He pushed forward and brushed his lips with Derek’s. Stiles hadn’t kissed anyone like that in six years. Derek was still surprised and was frozen on the spot as Stiles prodded his lips with his tongue till he parted them to let Stiles in. He pushed his knee between Derek’s thighs and his tongue found Derek’s in his mouth. Stiles rolled his hips once as warmth curled up his spine. Derek finally came to himself as he moved his lips the slightest bit and pushed his tongue at Stiles’. 

 

Stiles felt a loud moan escape his lips before he could stop himself, his hands found Derek’s hair and he pulled like he remembered, Derek loved. But now, it had the opposite effect. Derek suddenly shook as if waking up from a dream. 

 

He pushed Stiles away from him.

 

“Just go home.”

 

Stiles stood there for a moment staring at the wall Derek had been shoved against not a second ago and he felt sick. He didn’t even get time to move, he just threw up where he stood. Derek stopped walking and turned around. He ran up to Stiles and held his head steady as Stiles threw up the tequila he had so vehemently drank not twenty minutes ago. The woman Derek had been sitting with came out, looking for him and spotted them. She walked over and looked disgustedly at Stiles, he was too busy throwing up his pizza from earlier to pay attention.

 

“Jennifer, I have to drive him home. Can you—“

 

“Can’t he go himself? Or someone else drive him?”

 

“I gotta go, I’ll call you later.”

 

Scott and Isaac had also run out to see where they were. Stiles felt Derek going through his pockets and tossing his keys to Isaac.

 

“Isaac, can you follow me in Stiles’ car?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

Stiles saw Scott look at him worriedly as Allison stood behind him with a hand on his shoulder. Derek pulled him away and shoved him into a shiny, black sports car. Derek’s car? He bought a new one? What happened to the Toyota?

 

Apparently he had said that out loud.

 

“Gave it to Laura. This is mine now.” Derek mumbled next to him like he didn’t want to answer him. Well, Stiles didn’t want to talk to him either. The seats were too soft and comfy anyway. He fell asleep in the next half minute or so.

 

***

 

Derek kept his eyes fixed on the road as he heard Stiles mutter incoherently next to him. When there was no movement, he turned around to find Stiles asleep with his head thrown back on the head-rest. He had to grip the steering wheel tight to stop himself from reaching over and touching. 

 

Touching. Oh god. How much it had killed him to push Stiles away as he kissed him when that was all he wanted for six years. Derek hadn’t slept with anyone in those years or kissed anyone. He told himself that he couldn’t do that to himself. But the truth was he couldn’t do that to Stiles. 

 

Years may have passed but Stiles still owned his heart and his body. Years he had spent aching to touch and be touched. And today Stiles had pushed him against a wall and kissed him with so much intensity like he had been waiting to that for years too. Wanting to do that for years. The heat from Stiles’ lips and his hands was still burning low on Derek’s skin where Stiles had touched him. His hair was messed up from where Stiles had carded his fingers through it and pulled. 

 

Derek used to lose himself when Stiles did that. But today it had brought him back to reality. Reality where Stiles was engaged to someone and he was going to marry that someone. In that moment he had felt like his heart had been yanked out of his chest as blood spilled out drop by drop and he was struggling to keep breathing.

 

Now as he drove with Stiles passed out next to him, Derek realized that he was fooling himself. He had agreed to be set up by Laura after John had told him about Stiles’ engagement. After hours of pain and anguish spent thinking and lamenting, he had agreed to go on a date. He had told himself that he was going to be fine. That he will get over Stiles. Someday.

 

But now he knew that was never going to happen. Never. Stiles will always own him. Heart, body and soul.

 

He glanced over one last time before fixing his stare on the winding road. He told himself tonight was just a mistake, it was a drunken mistake for Stiles. He kissed Derek because it was familiar. His heart let out a muffled cry of protest at that but he shut it down. Stiles was engaged and he was going to be married. He was someone else’s and Derek was going to deal with that. His pain was his own and he was going to deal with it after he dropped Stiles home safely. He had lived with pain and loss all his life. It was nothing new. But it sure felt like a fresh wound on his heart when the old ones were still healing.

 

Derek parked behind the cruiser in the driveway and ran across to the passenger’s side. Stiles was still out of it and he looked like he wasn’t going to wake up anytime soon. Derek took in a deep breath and bent down and pulled Stiles up into his arms. The contact tightened something in his chest but he ignored it and carried Stiles to the door to ring the bell. The Sheriff answered.

 

“Derek what happened? Is he—“

 

“John, he’s okay. Just passed out.”

 

“Oh god. Stupid kid. Here, come on in.”

 

“Should I take him upstairs?”

 

“Yeah please, I can’t with my back.”

 

“No problem.”

 

Derek made his way toward the stairs as Melissa McCall walked out of the bedroom in her nightgown with a worried expression on her face. He climbed up the stairs and opened the door to Stiles’ old bedroom. He had come to this house endless times in the past couple years for family dinners and barbeques and morning meetings/briefings with the Sheriff but he had never come into this room. There were too many memories of happier times. He caught himself standing in the door and looking around thinking again. 

 

He put Stiles down on the bed and removed his shoes and socks and covered him with the comforter. Stiles made a sound and held onto his hand. Derek would’ve stayed there, all night standing there just like that for Stiles to keep holding his hand. 

 

But he had just told himself to get it together. To bury it all like he always did. He had promised himself in the car that he was going to keep pretending for the sake of everyone till Stiles left. And then he would somehow, god knows how, move on.

 

So Derek pulled his hand out of Stiles’ grasp and stepped back. Stiles jerked a little in his sleep but he curled himself around a pillow and was still again. Derek tore his eyes away and hastily left the room. He felt like he didn’t have the right anymore to stand there. To see Stiles like this. In his delicate, private moments like this.

 

Melissa and John were sitting down at the kitchen table when he rushed down, they both turned to look at him when he came down. 

 

“Are you okay?”

 

John had been more of a father to Derek than he could remember his own. He had lost him a long time ago and now he was just a distant memory that could just as easily have been an imagination or a dream. John was who he thought of when he heard the word ‘father’.

 

“Yeah, I’m okay.”

 

“Are you sure, son?”

 

“Yes. You guys should go sleep, it’s late.” He started walking toward the door but John’s voice stopped him.

 

“Derek?”

 

He turned around but John didn’t say anything else. He got up from the table and made his way over to where Derek was standing. He put a hand on his shoulder and pulled Derek into a hug.

 

John pulled back and patted him on the shoulder and Melissa offered him coffee but he refused politely and drove home.

 

In the darkness of his room, he laid down and played the whole night through his mind again and again till the pain was too much. He sobbed like he did on particularly hard nights when he couldn’t sleep. Finally, after hours of torturous thinking back, sleep overtook him.

 

***

 

He woke up to noises downstairs as sunlight streamed in through the window into his room. Right, he was in Beacon Hills. He looked down and realized that he was wearing a shirt and jeans and not boxers like usually did. Why was he wearing these clothes in bed? His head hurt with a vengeance as he tried to think, hungover then.

 

It didn’t take him long to remember after that. He had been drunk at Moe’s last night. And then Derek had dragged him out. And then—oh god

 

He had kissed Derek.

 

Oh god. 

 

He was sitting in bed, pulling at his hair and berating himself when he heard a knock on his door and saw his dad standing in the doorway in his uniform.

 

“Good morning, son.”

 

“Morning, dad.” He replied as his brain was still recounting details from last night.

 

“You remember, I take it?”

 

“Kind of…”

 

“Well son you’re smart enough to make decisions and certainly old enough. But I just want to say, don’t drag Derek into this—“

 

“Dad, I—“

 

“Stiles, you weren’t here, I was. I saw him, that kid has had enough trouble for a lifetime. I don’t know what you were thinking but you need to make up your mind. You can’t keep stringing him along.”

 

“Dad, I’m not stringing anyone. What are you—“

 

“Look Stiles, just remember that you’re gonna leave. He’ll still be here. And I don’t want to see him hurt any more than he already is. Now, you should clean up and come down for breakfast. Melissa made pancakes. And don’t tell me I can’t have any, I’m already eating salad for lunch.” 

 

His dad smiled at him Stiles felt all the worry and confusion melt away for a second as he climbed out of bed. His dad ruffled his hair as he made his way past him to the bathroom. Breakfast was quiet mostly with no mention of the night before.

 

After they were done, Melissa and his dad both left for work and Stiles sat at the living room couch trying to make sense of what his life had become in the last three days.

 

The feelings that he had buried and told himself he was over were thrusting back in. He was unable to look at Derek without his heart pounding against his ribs leaping to get out. 

 

What had he done?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this was worth the wait. I'm still struggling with writing but I'm trying. Don't forget to comment!


	6. It's been three Decembers

John sat in his office wondering why Stiles was so interested in Laura and her kids. He had just left to finally meet Scott and make up with his platonic soul-mate. Scott had called him this morning asking about Stiles and he had hated to lie that Stiles had talked about him. Now at least, he wouldn’t have to lie. And tonight everyone was going to be at Moe’s so it was a good time for Stiles to meet up with his friends. Except Derek.

 

Derek will be there too. Shit. He hadn’t thought of that, why hadn’t he? And Laura was going to kill him. Because finally she was able to convince Derek to go on a date. A real date. Laura had been trying for years but Derek never gave in. And finally after hearing about Stiles’ engagement, he had agreed to be set up. Laura had been so excited when she had come in earlier. She was trying to set Derek up with a teacher who worked with Adrian. Apparently she and Derek were meant for each other.

 

And now John had asked Scott to invite Stiles. Great. This is just great.

 

He sat there rubbing a hand down his face when Tara came in and gave him a worried look. 

 

“Sheriff, you really need to stop thinking. It’s okay, he’ll be fine.”

 

He raised his eyebrow at her as if to ask ‘who’re you talking about’ even when he knew real well that Tara had worked with him long enough to know him like an open book.

 

“Derek? Aren’t you having an aneurysm thinking about him?”

 

“I’m just worried, Tara. He’s not gonna survive another…“

 

“Another..? Are you ever going to tell me what happened?”

 

“What do you mean? You know what happened. Stiles left for—“

 

“I mean what happened after he left and why do you feel like Derek’s a wet little puppy who needs your protection 24/7 and not a 200 pound deputy who shoots people for a living?”

 

“I don’t think that.”

 

“Yeah sure. And the whole town doesn’t worship him either. And he didn’t turn into the politest, most eligible bachelor overnight either. Anything else?”

 

He just looked at her with pleading eyes in hope that she will not wait around for an answer.

 

“John, do you know that there’s a pool going on in the station about whose side you would take in an argument. Your real son or your precious beloved adopted son?”

 

“What?”

 

“Yes, your officers are betting on who you love more.”

 

“That’s just—“

 

“Is it, John?”

 

“Look Tara, I’m just thinking about his –“

 

“You don’t have to explain yourself to me, Sheriff. I get that you’re worried about Derek, you two have gotten very close over the years but Stiles is your son. Who hasn’t come home in six years and now that he’s here you’re busy defending Derek. Just--think about it. I’m gonna go now.”

 

John sat there silently as Tara left. He looked over at the photos on his desk of Stiles as a kid with Claudia. That was the happiest time of his life but soon after, he lost her. As she laid in the hospital slowly withering away, so did John’s happiness. But he pulled himself together for his son. Stiles was the only reason he was still here. When he was sitting alone, it wasn’t hard to admit that he would’ve killed himself after Claudia if he didn’t have Stiles. He had thought about it at the time but Stiles’ innocent face had kept him from doing it.

 

When your son who is the reason you’re alive comes home one day to tell you that he wants to move across the country, what do you do? What do you do when that son refuses to come home for Christmas because his boss needs extra hours? What do you do?

 

Everyone was betting on him choosing Derek over Stiles but they didn’t know the pain of losing a son. They didn’t understand that losing Stiles was harder than losing Claudia. That he may never have cried in front of anyone but he resisted just barely. And the reason why he was worried about Derek wasn’t because he didn’t love Stiles enough. It was because he understood Derek’s pain. 

 

He’s never told anyone this because Derek made him promise but every time he saw his deputy, he saw the broken man he’d seen three years ago.

 

Three years ago

 

John got a call from the airport about a disruptive passenger and the Airlines wanted to press charges so the Sheriff was required to get there as soon as possible to make the arrest. John drove out the second they hung up and he was parking forty-five minutes later. As he rushed toward the office he had been asked to go to, he saw Derek. 

 

Derek stood there wordlessly looking at him but he could just as easily have been looking past him, his eyes were so out of focus. As John stepped closer, Derek made no move, he just silently stood there. That’s when John saw it. The look on Derek’s face - it was blank and yet so many emotions playing acrosshis face that John didn’t even know Derek was capable of feeling so much. But he recognized it because that was the face he looked at in the mirror every morning.

 

That was the face he had seen in the mirror the night he came home from the hospital. The night Claudia died. 

 

That was the face of a man who had lost everything. 

 

After that night, John still had Stiles. sure. He had Melissa and his other friends. But it wasn’t enough. Stiles was hurting just as much as him after losing his mother but it wasn’t enough. It would never be enough. Even years later, it was easier to ignore the pain but it was still there.

 

But standing there that day, Derek didn’t have anyone. He had lost his family years ago and his happiness with it. Even Laura had moved on and gotten married. She had a husband now and a kid. But Derek had no one. 

 

And it showed on his face right now. John moved forward and pulled Derek into his arms. It wasn’t until Derek hugged him back that John realised how hurt he must be. This was a kid who hated physical contact, who avoided eye-contact with people so he wouldn’t have to talk to them. And here he was clutching to John like his life depended on it. It made John wonder how long it had been since someone had hugged Derek. 

 

But just as suddenly as Derek had wrapped his arms around him, he pulled back. John took a step back and put a hand on his shoulder.

 

“Hold on, let me go talk to them. I’ll be right back. Wait here, I’ll drive you home.”

 

Derek didn’t answer or nod or move. John knocked at the door of the office and a young man opened the door and ushered him in. It took some pleading and explaining but the Manager finally agreed to let it go without pressing charges.

 

The Manager had seemed very adamant about pressing charges as he told a young girl sitting beside John to explain what happened. Apparently, Derek had demanded to be let out of the flight mid-air and then yelled at the stewardess. She was a tiny thing of about 5’1’’ and Derek was brick wall of muscle, no wonder she was crying right now as she retold what all Derek had screamed at her. According to her, Derek had looked very pale and perturbed when he boarded but some ten minutes later he had started looking around worriedly as if he didn’t know where he was. When she approached him, he told her to let him out. Even after explaining several times that they were mid-flight, Derek had insisted that he be let out and this disturbed other passengers so he was asked to be quiet. And that’s when he went ballistic on her. 

 

She was sobbing openly now as she recounted how Derek had gotten really colorful with his language and his eyes had really scared her. John knew Derek had quite a temper so it wasn’t hard to believe her. He had had to explain to them about Derek going after his ex-boyfriend and that it didn’t go well. They said they sympathised. After a good half hour of convincing them to let Derek go, John came out of the office to tell Derek and drive him home. But when he came back out to where he had left Derek, he wasn’t there. 

 

He knew Derek was in no position to drive, not when he was on the verge of another anxiety attack and especially not in that death trap of a Camaro he had bought last year. John hurried to the parking and started driving back in the hope that he’ll catch up with Derek on the way to town and force him to come with him. He drove well above the speed-limit he would allow himself under normal circumstances but he was really worried about Derek right now. 

 

He didn’t find Derek while driving into town so he swung by his apartment but he wasn’t there either. He called Laura but she said he wasn’t at her house either, John told her he found Derek and hung up. He didn’t need a worried Laura on his hands right now. He looked around town for another hour before he got too tired and gave up. That’s when he found him. 

 

As John drove down the street toward his house, he saw the Camaro parked on the street. John parked the cruiser in the driveway. Derek was sitting on the steps of his house. When John approached he turned on the porch light and finally got a good look at Derek who had been sitting in darkness. He noticed that Derek’s eyes were red-the kind of red when you’ve been crying for hours. His hair that was always perfectly styled was falling over his forehead and it looked wet. John sat down next to him but he didn’t say anything. He doubted Derek would respond. That he even could respond.

 

As he shifted, John noticed blood on Derek’s shirt. 

 

“Derek, there’s blood on your clothes, what happened? Are you okay?”

 

“Accident, I crashed…”

 

“Did you hurt anybody? What happened?”

 

“No, no body’s hurt just me…”

 

“Are you bleeding, son?”

 

Derek wordlessly lifted his shirt to reveal a huge, open gash across his torso. John winced as he looked at the open wound that was still bleeding. 

 

“Come on get up, let me patch you up.”

 

As he started to get up and hooked his arm under Derek’s to pull him up, that’s when he noticed Derek looking up at him. He looked wrecked. Like he was completely ruined. Trembling. Broken. And all John could think was ‘Stiles did this.’ 

 

John had known Derek since he was a teenager but he had never seen him this broken since he had had to pull an unconscious Laura out of Derek’s hands. In front of their burnt down house, Derek was kneeling with his sister in his arms when John had gotten there. His deputy had told him that Derek had gone in after Laura and carried out his sister who had passed out due to smoke inhalation. That was the day Derek had lost his entire family. His parents along with his uncle’s family and even young cousins had been burnt alive. That was the day Derek had lost his life. And he still hadn’t looked this lost.

 

John couldn’t help but see himself in Derek. Losing that one person you thought you’d always have was a pain he had been living with for years. He had loved and lost Claudia after years of being together, sharing a house and a son. A beautiful marriage. But here was Derek, who had finally found something worth living for and it had been snatched away from him before he could even learn to love completely. 

 

It took him a while but he finally got Derek inside and bandaged his wound. Derek was still trembling and his eyes were fixed on the floor, John wasn’t sure he even understood what John was asking him so he made him lie down on the couch and left him there.

 

He got up twice to check on Derek during the night, both times Derek was looking down at the photo he was clutching in his lap. It was an old one of Claudia and Stiles. John went back silently. When he came down in the morning, Derek was still up. He went into the kitchen to start breakfast and returned with coffee for himself and Derek.

 

“Are you okay now?”

 

“Yes, thanks.”

 

Finally, he talked. 

 

“So, you want to tell me what happened?”

 

“Not really, no.”

 

“Okay but what about the accident?”

 

Derek looked at him pleading eyes so he dropped the subject and wordlessly sipped his coffee.

 

“He’s happy. He’s got a job in a good paper and he looked very happy. I just couldn’t—“

 

“Couldn’t..?”

 

“I can’t ruin it for him. I always knew that’s what he wanted but I selfishly hoped that he’d give it up for me.”

 

“Derek--“

 

“No, I was selfish. He talked about his dream but I always thought that for me, he would try and do it here. I thought I was important enough.”

 

“Derek that’s not wh—“

 

“I know. But I just, I saw him there and I can’t. I can’t ask him to come back, not here. It’s a whole new world out there. And he fits right in. I’m not good enough for him. Never was.”

 

“Son, he loves you. It’s just not a—“

 

“I’m not going to hold him back, John. I didn’t then and I’m not going to now. I’ll wait for him, he’ll come to me when he wants to but I’m not going to crush his dreams. I just, I saw him there in that big city and I looked at myself. I just never deserved him. But I didn’t want to admit it. I thought if I kept holding on maybe he’ll pity me. But I know I can’t anymore. “

 

Derek said that with a finality that shook John. He had let Claudia go because he had no other choice. She had been taken from him. Derek was carving out his heart and leaving it behind. Willingly. It hurt him but he did it for Stiles. Stiles, who didn’t even know what was happening. 

 

They sat there in silence for a while until Derek broke it.

 

“John, I need you to promise me you won’t tell anyone about all this. Not even Laura. I am always going to be in love with Stiles but I guess I need to move on. I need to find a real job.”

 

“Derek, I don’t—“

 

“I’m quitting at the bookstore. Is there any vacancy at the station?”

 

“You want to be a cop?”

 

“Why? Can’t I be?”

 

“You’ll have to attend the Academy, Derek.”

 

“Okay. I’ll do it.”

 

“Son, don’t rush into anything.”

 

“I’m not rushing. I’ve been at the same job for years. It’s time I get a real job and start doing something.”

 

“Okay, I’ll get you the Application forms for the Academy today.”

 

“Thanks, John.”

 

“It’s just a form, Derek.”

 

“No, I mean thanks.”

 

“You’re welcome.”

 

John was skeptical about the whole job thing but he also knew Derek. When he put his mind to something, he did it. And he did. Within the year, Derek had not only passed out from the Academy (made several new records which wasn’t surprising given he spent his whole day eating and exercising anyway) but also finished his field-training. He worked harder than anyone and when he was made Deputy, literally everyone was behaving like he was the only deputy in town.

 

That’s when the whole hero-worship thing started. Derek took his job very seriously, he was easily the best man on the force and so John was always fond of him. But now the whole town was in love with him, he was the new town hero. John didn’t mind. Yet.

 

But he did mind when Derek became the most eligible bachelor. Before this, he kept to himself and everyone knew he was in love with Stiles but after he had come back from New York and being deputized, he started talking to people. The first time, he smiled at someone John was there. It was Ms. Judith sitting outside the coffee shop and she looked shocked when Derek smiled at her. 

 

It didn’t take things long to change after that. Now Derek was the new deputy who smiled at people sometimes instead of always glaring. Who looked like a movie actor and who didn’t mope around anymore. Mothers all over town took that as a go-ahead and hence began the ‘Marry my son/daughter extravaganza of Beacon Hills’. 

 

John still thought of Derek as Stiles’ partner and that’s why he felt angry when someone would thrust their daughter in Derek’s face or start talking about their son with him. He would sit quietly cursing the person in his head. He felt almost possessive over Derek. Well, sue him. Derek was his son-in-law. 

 

They never talked about that night again, John still didn’t know how Derek had got himself in that accident. Laura or anyone knew nothing about it. But after seeing Derek so vulnerable that night, John felt fiercely protective of him. This was a man who never asked anyone for help, who was never dependent on anyone for anything and seeing him broken and lost like that had snapped something in John. Stiles had been distant for years. He didn’t know Derek had gone after him. It wasn’t his fault but still, John couldn’t help but think that Stiles had abandoned them. He loved his son more than anything in the world and he always will but he didn’t like him very much right then.

 

Now

 

John woke up to a knock on the door and he found Derek standing there with Stiles in his arms. It took him a second to process this and let them in. Stiles had gone out to the bar a couple hours ago. He must’ve drank too much. And Derek was carrying him. John could see the hurt on his face that Derek could no longer hide from him. Years of talking and wearing him down had made Derek readable to him.

 

As Derek was taking Stiles upstairs, the house phone rang.

 

“Hello?"

 

“Hi Mr. S, I just wanted to ask about Stiles.”

 

“Yeah, he just got home. He’s passed out and Derek brought him. What happened?”

 

“Uh, he drank too much. Actually, he got into an argument but it’s okay—“

 

“Argument? With who?”

 

“Um, he just said some things in the bar but Derek took him out and then hekissedhim”

 

“What? What was that last part?”

 

“Mr. S” Scott whined but John wanted to know, he had a bad feeling about this.

 

“Scott!” He said in a warning tone that always worked on Scott.

 

“Stiles kissed Derek. But he pushed him away. Don’t worry no one saw, I just rushed after him so only I saw.”

 

“Scott…”

 

“And he already threw up so there’s nothing to worry about.”

 

“I’m yeah, okay.”

 

“Good night, Mr. S. And say good night to my mom. Bye.”

 

“You take care, Scott.”

 

John felt like he had been punched in the gut. Just this evening, he had been thinking of how hurt Derek had been when he came back from New York. And now his drunken son was kissing him. While he was engaged to someone else. As if that hadn’t been enough of a blow for Derek. 

 

John knew Stiles wasn’t staying. He knew Stiles would leave. And then he would be left to pick up the pieces. Derek had already been on edge ever since Stiles had come back, his face a constant mask. Laura had told him how Derek wasn’t sleeping at all. And now, Stiles was playing with him. He’d leave soon and John knew that Derek wouldn’t survive another heartbreak. He couldn’t.

 

When he came back downstairs, Derek’s façade had slipped away and his inner turmoil was evident on his face. John hugged him once to reassure him that it would be fine or maybe he was reassuring himself. And he was going to have a long chat with Stiles. 

 

He needed to defend Derek because while everyone might make googly-eyes at him and worship him, none of them knew what he was actually going through right now. And Derek Hale would never ask for help. He would never talk to anyone. He would just suck it up. Because he was used to being left behind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I imagined Derek to be looking like he did after Boyd's death, when he's sitting on Sheriff's front steps.
> 
> So, here's why Sheriff feels the need to defend Derek. I know not everyone will agree but please have a little faith in me. Also, the next chapter has the long-due confrontation and town people hear words. Finally. 
> 
> I'm sorry if this story is not good enough anymore, I'm trying and like I said have a little faith. If you can't, thanks for reading so far. I'm sorry to disappoint!


	7. Couldn't you offer me, a little dishonesty?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For all the support and lovely comments, this chapter is longer than the earlier ones by about a 1000 words, enjoy!
> 
> Also for the record, when I say cheap drunk I mean easily drunk like me, gets drunk in 2 shots. You'll see what i mean.

“Some old wounds never truly heal, and bleed again at the slightest word.” — George R.R. Martin

 

Stiles sat in the living room for a couple hours, with the tv on in the background while he tried to figure out what was happening around him. He had kissed Derek last night while he was drunk off his ass. He had outed Isaac in a bar full of people. His dad had told him to ‘not string Derek along’ this morning. He was not exactly over Derek like he had desperately told himself for years now. 

 

Situation-Control. Lydia. 

 

He needed to call Lydia. She would know what to do, she always did. But before he could dial her, his phone rang. It was Scott. 

 

He’ll talk about last night. Oh shit.

 

If he didn’t pick up, he’ll probably come over. Fuck.

 

“Hey Scotty.”

 

“Stiles, you’re up. Are you okay?”

 

“Not so loud, Scott.”

 

“Oh sorry. So hungover?”

 

“A bit.”

 

“Yeah, you were drinking like a horse last night.”

 

“A fish, Scott. Drinking like a fish.” 

 

“Huh?”

 

“Nothing. Why didn’t you stop me?”

 

“Yeah right.”

 

“Fair point. So?”

 

“Dude, you know what you did last night?”

 

“Uh, pretty sure I do.”

 

“You kissed Derek.”

 

“Yeah Scott I’m aware.”

 

“He looked so pissed, dude. I didn’t wanna argue with him so I let him drive you home.”

 

“He drove me home?”

 

“You don’t remember?”

 

“No. I just thought you drove me.”

 

“No dude Derek did. I was going to but like I said he looked so angry I didn’t wanna make him mad at me. I called your house after you left. Your dad said he carried you in.”

 

“Oh. My. God. Kill me now.”

 

“It’s okay, man. I just saw him, he looked fine.”

 

“You saw him?”

 

“Yeah, he comes around for breakfast on Fridays. So anyway, we asked him about it and he said it was okay. Said you always were a cheap drunk so it doesn’t matter.”

 

“He said that?”

 

“Said what? That you’re a cheap drunk? Whole town knows, dude.”

 

“No, that it doesn’t matter?”

 

Scott paused for a second and Stiles got his answer. 

 

“Listen dude, there’s the Fall festival in Beacon Valley tonight. We’re all going, you in?”

 

Stiles wasn’t really paying attention, he was still stuck on the ‘doesn’t matter’ part. There was no stringing along, now was there? His dad should be here listening to this. So he’d know that his precious deputy didn’t even think he mattered.

 

“Stiles um, listen, Allison talked to him about it and they both told me to ask you to come. So if you’re thinking that it’ll be awkward or anything, don’t worry about it.”

 

“Yeah no, that’s okay. I was just thinking about what you said.” 

 

“Look, he said that he understood that you’re engaged. And that you just kissed him because you were drunk so there’s nothing to worry about. That’s what he told Allison. Now, I don’t understand all the things those two talk about but I got this. So, it’s all okay.”

 

“Yeah Scott, it’s all okay.”

 

“So you’ll come?”

 

“Yeah, I’ll come. What time is it?”

 

“Awesome. We’re leaving at four so I’ll come pick you up?”

 

“Yeah okay, I’ll see you at four.”

 

“This is great dude, just like old times.”

 

“See you then, Scott.”

 

Old times. Yeah right.

 

Derek thought Stiles kissed him because he was drunk. Didn’t he know Stiles at all? To think that he would drunk-kiss someone? He would drunk-kiss Derek?

 

But wait, hadn’t he? He had. It was because he was drunk, that’s all.

 

So then why did he feel so angry that Derek thought that? 

 

Oh god. Why was this happening to him? He was perfectly happy in New York and now here he was- second guessing every action and every word like he was a teenager again. Why had he come here, again?

 

***

 

Stiles got ready for a cold day because he was going to be outside all night and he was sure there was going to be dancing. Outside. In the wind. Brrrr.

 

Scott called him at ten past four asking him to get out and stand ready outside. He was driving a dark SUV. Here was the day he’d been sure he’d see since the first day Scott met Allison: Scott McCall driving a soccer-mom SUV with a huge Allison strapped in the passenger seat. His best friend beamed at him as he stood there taking in the whole sight. There was a car seat next to him when he got in the back seat. He was about to ask when he looked up to see Allison looking at him through the rear view mirror,

“Don’t ask.”

 

“I must.”

 

“Huh?” Scott looked at him a little confused, oh wait- that was his usual expression. Eternally confused little puppy.

 

“Scott why do you have a car seat in your car when Allison’s not due for another month?”

 

“It’s almost never on time, Stiles. Mom told me I was early. I’m just being ready.”

 

“While you’re at it why don’t you go ahead and buy a bike for when she turns five?”

 

Allison looked around at him with a look that was either a) Stiles, please keep your fucking mouth shut and don’t give him ideas. Or b) He’s already done that. Both of which made him crack up and Allison to change her pleading look into a dark glare. He stopped snickering right away.

 

The rest of the car ride was spent in considerable silence. Well as much silence as there can be with Stiles in the car. When they finally got there, it looked like the place was packed. There was hardly any space in the parking but Scott let them out to go find a spot.

 

Apparently Laura and her family was already here and Allison knew where they were so this was Stiles silently following her thinking of how embarrassed he would be if Laura brought up last night. But no level of thinking could prepare him for what happened.

 

When Allison stopped Stiles looked up to see what was happening. The sight that greeted him was: Laura was standing next to a table with five plates balanced on her arms, Mr. Harris had a baby in his arms who was crying up a storm and he looked like he was seconds away from tears himself. Derek was sitting at the table with a little girl in his lap and right now they were all turned to look at them. Or actually him. Allison, the traitor that she was went and sat next to Derek. 

 

They were still looking at him.

 

And they kept looking till the little girl spoke.

 

“Is that him?”

 

That seemed to jar everyone back to reality-land but no one spoke. Stiles stood glued to the spot.

 

“Is that him, DerDer?”

 

“Yes, Kika.”

 

“He’s so—“

 

“Erica, eat your food.”

 

That was Laura. Stiles honestly wanted to know what she was going to say. And also to find out what she meant by ‘him’. But he wasn’t going to ask, no thanks very much. His mouth had gotten him into enough trouble for a year. Just then Scott came up behind and clapped him on the shoulder. Stiles walked to the table and took a seat beside Scott.

 

“So Stiles how you doing?”

 

“I’m good, thanks Laura.”

 

“I believe you know my husband.”

 

“Unfortunately.” He muttered under his breath which earned him a snicker from Scott and a raised eye-brow from both the Hales.

 

“Yes, I do. Mr. Harris, it’s been a while.”

 

“Thankfully so, Mr. Stlinski.” Yeah, well you have fun with your little spitting, poop-machine Mr. Harris.

 

“I’ll agree.” Stiles said just as Laura spoke to her dear husband.

 

“Oh come on Ad, he’s not your student anymore. Call him Stiles.”

 

Mr. Harris smiled at him. Actually smiled. With genuinely curved lips and not his creepy, toothy I’m-about-to-ruin-your-life smile. Stiles was lost for words.  
Which it turned out wasn’t going to be the only time he would be left speechless tonight. There was more coming, oh was there more.

 

Once everyone had something to eat and they were all settled down cozily on the table, Laura cleared her throat. Stiles stiffened, that was an omen if he had ever seen one. Shit always went down when Laura Hale cleared her throat so pointedly. And shit did go down.

 

“Stiles, how long are you in town for?”

 

Allison. She just had to ask this now. They were alone in the car for a good twenty minutes but no she just had to ask now. Scott was staring at his plate stubbornly and Stiles didn’t see any other out so he answered.

 

“I don’t know really. A week, two maybe. I haven’t planned anything yet. I’m just going to stick around for a while. Why?”

 

“Scott has something he wants to ask you.”

 

Several things happened when that was said. Allison ducked her head and decided that she too wanted to stare at her food like her boyfriend. Laura, Derek and even Erica were staring at Scott. Scott was looking around and pointedly avoiding his eyes. 

 

“Yes, Scott?”

 

“Uh.”

 

“Do you need the baby to ask the question for you?”

 

Erica giggled at that. What was happening? Even she knew what was going on, Stiles was the only one lost. Betrayed by his own best-friend.

 

“Well, I was wondering if you wanted to…”

 

“Scott are you telling me or do I need to ask the 3-year old?”

 

Erica looked at him with a glare that was definitely the Derek Hale GlareTM. Stiles was impressed.

 

“Don’t mind, sweetheart.”

 

At that, Erica smiled at him and then looked up at her uncle. There was wiggling of eye-brows. Stiles didn’t even know kids that age could do anything with their eyebrows. Looks like she inherited that from her mother. The Hales could write sonnets with their eyebrows if they wanted, they were that suggestive.

 

“Stiles will you be my best man?”

 

Stiles turned his head around so fast it felt like he pulled something. And Stiles was nothing if not fast, twitchy movements. He never got whiplash but he just did.

 

“What?”

 

“Allison and I talked about it and we just thought that since you’re here this is the best time to get married. Before the baby’s here.”

 

“Scott. I—I don’t know what to say. You’re, are you sure?”

 

“Yes, we’ve been thinking about doing it for a while and we wanted to do it before the baby is born. I just didn’t know how to ask you to come back.”

 

He said that with so much hesitance in his voice that Stiles didn’t have the heart to tell him that he probably wouldn’t have come anyway. 

 

“I mean I don’t want anyone else to be my best man. We promised when we were four that we’ll be each other’s best man. I was actually going to call you last week to ask you but then you came back.”

 

He was smiling wide, everyone else was looking tense though.

 

“I just, we’ve been talking about it for a while. This seems like a good time. What do you think?”

 

Six pairs of eyes trained at him, Stiles felt his hands getting sweaty. He was panicking. And there was only one answer. Really.

 

“Yes, Scott. Of course I’ll be your best-man.”

 

There was a collective sigh and release of breath, Stiles wouldn’t be surprised if baby Jackson had been holding his breath too. There were huge smiles all around the table and it felt like all the tension there had been dissipated in a matter of seconds. 

 

Scott got up and hugged him tight while Allison mouthed a silent ‘thank you’ at him. Stiles felt like he was given something he didn’t even know he wanted. Something he had been waiting his whole life for. Well since he was four, at least.

 

“I wanted to ask you yesterday but I just didn’t get the chance.” Scott was saying as everyone else was busy talking or eating. 

 

“It’s okay buddy.”

 

“And I’m sorry for putting you on the spot like that. I wanted to ask you after the festival but Laura was looking at me funny and you know how she scares me.”

 

“It’s okay Scott. Don’t worry about it. Congrats man, I’m happy for you. Come here.”

 

He hugged Scott tightly, like he used to as a kid. 

 

“Thanks, Stiles.”

 

“You’re my brother, Scott. I’d do anything for you.” 

 

“I know.”

 

They stood like that for a second before someone suggested they danced, Stiles knew it. Laura pulled Scott and Derek was being led by Erica. That left him and Allison while Mr. Harris was busy getting Jackson to shut up. 

 

He looked at Allison who looked up at him and smiled as he held out his hand in front of her. They both made their way over to where everyone was dancing and he very carefully started moving on the spot. Stiles saw Danny and Isaac dancing not five feet away from them. Isaac looked over and waved at him, Stiles felt himself smiling widely at him. So he and Danny had found each other. That made him a little less guilty about outing Isaac last night. And he had apologized too, Isaac had just hugged him back. It was okay now. He looked back at Allison.

 

“Thanks.”

 

“You’re welcome.”

 

“He was so nervous. He stayed up last night worrying you’d say no.”

 

“I’d never do that to him.”

 

“That’s what I told him.”

 

“But are you really sure, Allison? I mean are you sure you’re not rushing this because of me?”

 

“I’ve been sure for fifteen years, Stiles. I mean yes, we are doing it now because you’re here but that’s a good thing. He didn’t want to do this without you. So I’m glad you’re here now.”

 

“Me too.”

 

She smiled at him again and he realized just how glad he was for being here now. In all honesty, he might not have come if Scott had called him, he might have missed his best friend’s wedding. He was a bad person. 

 

As he was busy thinking about how horrible a person he was, Scott touched his shoulder smiling widely at him and Stiles let go of Allison’s hand so the two love-birds could share a dance. He turned around to leave and found Derek standing there. 

 

He looked around and saw everyone else was dancing. It was just him and Derek. Standing in the middle. 

 

People were looking at him. At them. Ms. Judith was saying something to old Mr. Jenkins and Mrs. Carmichael. 

 

Derek looked at him. Stiles looked back. Derek held up his hand in front of Stiles. He could feel eyes on him. And Derek was looking expectantly at him too.  
“Maybe we could just talk.”

 

Derek took his hand away. He shook his head and started walking backward. Stiles felt like he was punched in the gut. 

 

He started walking away too, Derek was nowhere to be seen. He had turned Derek down because he didn’t want a repeat of last night. Or anything really that he would later regret. As he walked out from the pool of dancing bodies, he felt eyes boring into him. And sure enough when he looked up, pretty much everyone was looking at him like he had just killed someone. 

 

Enough.

 

“What are you all looking at, huh?”

 

The song was ending so the music was low. Everyone turned around to see who was yelling. Well, if they wanted a show they were going to get a show.

 

“I’ve been here a week and everyone has been glaring at me like I killed their children. What did I do? Huh? Are you all angry because I got away from here? Because I followed my dream? I became someone and not just stuck here in this hell-hole like all of you? Is that it? Are you all angry because I followed my ambition and got out of this precious little dream world you all have here? Because I chose to leave your perfect little town? Is that it, Mrs. Carmichael?”

 

The woman looked at him like he had just asked her a personal question about her love-life. She looked shell-shocked. They all did. Like they didn’t expect him to call them on it. Well, tough luck.

 

“Well? Anyone?”

 

No one moved. There was pin-drop silence. No noise from the stage, none from the people.

 

“Do you all hate me because I left the white picket-fence idea behind to become someone? Because I left the homey little town for New York? Is that it?”

 

No one said anything. Most people were standing with their heads bowed down. Until Ms. Judith spoke.

 

“We don’t hate you son.”

 

He waited for someone to deny that, he was sure someone would. They had all been glaring at him for a week, of course they hated him.

 

“We were just looking out for our own.”

 

“I was your own too, you know. Before you chose to hate me. I never said anything to anyone.”

 

He said that and started walking away from the crowd. People moved to let him through. He heard Derek yell behind him, he didn’t stop.

 

“Are you kidding me? Is that what that was about? Ms. Judith?”

 

No one said anything as Stiles kept walking away and Derek spoke up again.

 

“I can’t believe you people. ‘Looking out for your own?’ What does that even mean?”

 

No answer still. Stiles didn’t stop.

 

“I can’t believe this. I’m only going to say this once. Stay away from him, it wasn’t his fault. It was mine.”

 

Stiles stopped.

 

He didn’t know what to do. His feet wouldn’t move. Even if they could, he wasn’t sure he could walk right now. Not after that. He was still standing there trying to make sense of what he had just heard when Derek came up and stood there in front of him. He looked down at Stiles. 

 

“I’m so sorry. I had no idea.”

 

Stiles opened his mouth but nothing would come out. He was lost. 

 

“Walk with me?”

 

He nodded his head and once Derek turned around and started walking, his feet somehow started working and he followed Derek. They walked silently till Derek stopped and sat down on a bench. They were in a park apparently. Stiles sat down beside him on the narrow bench, almost touching Derek.

 

“Stiles, I had no idea what was happening. I swear I would’ve stopped them.”

 

“It’s okay.”

 

“No, it’s not okay. I can’t believe they did that. And you didn’t tell me.”

 

“It’s okay Derek. It’s fine.”

 

“Are you okay?”

 

“I am now.”

 

Silence.

 

He was still struggling with what had just happened to be able to converse. Derek sat silently beside him, probably to give his some time to recover. 

 

“It wasn’t your fault, you know. It wasn’t anyone’s fault.”

 

Stiles was looking down at his hands as he said that, he didn’t think he could look at Derek while he said it. He was afraid what he might see on his face. When Derek didn’t speak, he was forced to look up.

 

Derek was looking at him with his eyes wide and his lips parted, like he was actually surprised. That’s when it hit him. 

 

Derek actually believed that it was his fault.

 

Stiles had never blamed him for it. Well, not after the initial shock had gone away. He had spent the first couple weeks just shocked that Derek had refused to come with him. But once the shock gave way to acceptance, he didn’t blame Derek anymore. He didn’t forgive him either but he didn’t blame him anymore.

 

“Don’t look at me like that, it’s not your fault. We both know that.”

 

Why had he even doubted that Derek would blame himself? Of course he would. Dude blamed himself for everything. Family died, must be his fault. It rained, his fault. Someone stubs their toe, probably his fault. 

 

“It just didn’t work out, that’s all. And now I’d like to talk about something else. Please.”

 

Derek looked away at that. He didn’t speak for a moment, Stiles felt like he’d lost him again.

 

“So Scott’s getting married.”

 

“Yeah and I’m a best man, now. I’m surprised they didn’t ask you.”

 

“No, Scott always wanted you to be his best-man. He was planning on calling you this week.”

 

“Yeah, he told me. So you’re the god-father?”

 

“Yeah. Scott asked me months ago.”

 

“Hey, don’t sound so sad. I haven’t even been around. You deserve it, Dad told me how much you both have been worried about him.”

 

Derek stiffened a bit at that. Like he was scared what his dad had told him. Huh.

 

“Yeah well he’s been really paranoid. He freaks Allison out too, she calls me to take him away most of the time.”

 

Stiles chuckled at that, yup that sounded like Scott.

 

“So you and Erica are close. Der-bear?”

 

“Shut up.”

 

Stiles laughed when he saw Derek duck his head at that. The tips of his ears were pink and Stiles had to look away because that reminded him of things. 

Dangerous things. 

 

“She just likes me better than Laura. I let her call me whatever she wants.”

 

“And she’s got your trademark glare down pat too.”

 

Derek glared at him and Stiles had to bite his lip from laughing out loud. Derek looked away quickly and Stiles was left wondering what he’d done wrong.

 

They sat like that for a while, talking. Just like old times. It may have been years since they’d talked to each other but there was a familiarity there between them that was still intact after all this time. A comfort. They talked about anything and everything, it felt like no time had passed at all. Like it was still one of those nights when Stiles couldn’t sleep so he pulled Derek with him into the Reserve for a walk. 

 

Scott and Laura came looking for them and found them like that, talking about Mr. Jenkins and his grandkids. Stiles felt guilty for a second, like he’d been caught doing something he shouldn’t have been but it went away when Laura spoke.

 

“You wanna go back?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

Scott was silent as Derek got up and looked at him. Stiles looked up at him before nodding and getting up. They talked about the food on the way back. When they were about to step toward the crowded part, Laura stopped him with a hand on his shoulder.

 

“Stiles, let me know if someone says something to you. Hear me?”

 

“Yes, Laura.”

 

“Good.”

 

She stood there with a hand on his shoulder for a second before adding softly,

 

“We missed you.”

 

Then she walked ahead followed by Scott. Derek was standing there looking at him but when Stiles looked up, he started walking. Stiles felt his throat clam up.  
It was as if Derek had said ‘I miss you’ with his eyes. Stiles wanted to say it back to him. But he didn’t.

 

***

 

Everyone was having fun now that there was no more staring and or glaring going on. Derek was actually looking around a lot and Stiles was aware that he was looking out for him. On more than one occasion he stopped himself from telling Derek he missed him. 

 

On one of those times when he was looking at Derek as he was busy talking Erica out of something, Laura walked up to him with two beers in her hand and handed one to him.

 

“He went after you, ya know.”

 

“Who? Derek?”

 

“Yeah, I’m not supposed to know but John let it slip once.”

 

“When?”

 

“About three years after you left. He told him he’d never seen anything like it. But he said he wasn’t going to hold you back from your dream. He said he’d wait for you.”

 

“No one ever told me…”

 

“Me either, sweetheart. I don’t know the details. But he said he’d need to conquer the world to get you back. He’s been trying ever since. You know he started p…”

 

“Laura.”

 

Derek was just there all of a sudden. He hadn’t been a second ago, Stiles could’ve sworn but there he was now. Looking at Laura like he was going to kill her and she seemed to have gotten the message.

 

“I think Ad’s calling me, I’ll see you later Stiles.”

 

“Yeah”

 

If only his brain could process all of this. Derek went to New York? Why didn’t he come to see him? What?

 

“Uh, Stiles? You’re doing that thing where you freeze in place. Are you okay?”

 

Scott’s face came into his vision, he was looking a little worried. Stiles un-froze and lowered the hand he had stopped mid-air while he was thinking.

 

“Yeah, dude. I’m okay.”

 

“So, you ready to be my best-man?”

 

Stiles was still not up-to-par with the whole wedding thing. And now Laura had dropped another bomb on him. This was an intense night. With too much information to process. And he needed to be alone so he could sit and do a play-by-play. Soon.

 

Scott was looking at him expectantly when he looked up at him. Oh right.

 

“Of course I am. I’ve been ready since the day you walked into oncoming traffic because you saw Allison across the street. I knew this day was coming before either of you.”

 

“And that’s why you’re my best man.”

 

“Not because I played messenger all through high-school? Or because you glued me to a chair that one time Mr. Argent caught you two?”

 

“Stiles, my man Stiles. My best friend. My buddy. I love you, Stiles.”

 

“That’s how the rumors started, dude.”

 

“But I do love you.”

 

“Wanna make out, then?”

 

“Ew, dude gross. I meant in a brotherly-way.”

 

“Wanna make out in a brotherly-way?”

 

“Stiles!”

 

Scott huffed off probably to complain to Allison. Stiles looked around and saw Laura holding Jackson and whispering something in Mr. Harris’s ear. Ugh. 

 

Isaac was talking to Danny and they both looked like the conversation was going well. Danny said something to Isaac that made him look around and blush a little. 

 

Scott was sitting next to Allison and talking to her belly. Again. She waved at him when she saw him looking.

 

Derek was standing next to a table wiping off Erica’s mouth with a napkin while she tried to get away from him and almost fell off the table in the process. 

 

This was his life now. He was reading over news reports in his apartment’s balcony while Andrew snored not a week ago. And now he was in a festival in a sleepy town where everyone knew everyone and he was surrounded by all the people he had grown up with.

 

***

 

After spending a tiring five hours at the festival, he finally came back home. On the way over, Scott had talked non-stop about the wedding while he and Allison listened silently. God, weren’t the girls supposed to be anal about weddings?

 

When he finally got home though, he called his dad who wasn’t home yet. Apparently, he and Melissa were both working night shifts so he had the house to himself. He went upstairs, took a shower and changed into a pair of sweats and an old t-shirt Scott had given him in high-school as a present. It was the most comfortable thing he owned.

 

When he laid down in bed though, he couldn’t sleep. His mind kept going back to the festival and what Laura had told him. That little doubt he had had this morning that he wasn’t over Derek wasn’t so little anymore. 

 

Stiles got up, took his phone and went downstairs. He drank down an entire bottle of water from the fridge and stepped out of the house. It was nice out tonight, not chilly but slightly windy. The whole street was silent, the moon was the only light. Everyone was asleep. 

 

He sat down on the steps and looked up at the stars. It was clear tonight and the sky was filled with them. Usually this helped him relax enough that he could go sleep but tonight it wasn’t helping. If anything, he became more twitchy. Thinking about everything that had happened in the past couple of days. He kept thinking about how he really wanted to tell Derek that he missed him. So he did.

 

‘I miss you.’

 

Stiles looked down at his phone and the text he had just sent. His hands were trembling and he wasn’t sure why he had just done that. He panicked. Why did he do that? Oh god. Things were going so well. Why did he have to ruin everything? Oh god. He sat there with his head in his hands. He had finally said it.

 

***

 

Derek had just gotten into bed and was about to switch off the bedside lamp when his phone went off. It was a text.

 

I miss you.

 

Derek stared at it. It couldn’t be. 

 

It was an unknown number but he knew who it was. Stiles. 

 

Before he knew what he was doing, Derek was out the door. He rushed to his car and drove as fast as he could. His heart was pounding in his ears and he was pretty sure he was over-speeding but he’d be damned if he cared right now. 

 

In less than five minutes, Derek was parked in front of Sheriff’s house. He could see Stiles sitting on the porch steps, just like he had sat there years ago waiting for John to get home. He shoved that thought aside and pushed the door open. 

 

Stiles looked up at him and Derek ran out the car towards him, car door left open behind him. Stiles saw him coming and got up. Derek ran straight into him and crushed his whole body against Stiles’ who didn’t complain. Derek mashed his lips with Stiles’ and carried him toward the door. Stiles wrapped his legs around him and kissed him back with so much force that Derek was surprised for a second. Stiles’ tongue was on his lower lip and then he bit Derek’s lip. 

 

Derek moved back and pinned Stiles’ back to the wall as he opened his mouth and his tongue met Stiles’. They were both moving so fast and with so much intensity, Stiles was letting out little moans that Derek was more than happy to pull out of him. Stiles took his hands from around Derek’s neck and started carding them through his hair. Stiles pulled at his hair roughly and Derek lost it. He leaned down and bit on Stiles’ neck just like he loved it. He was now mouthing down his neck as Stiles canted his hips against Derek’s. He could feel that Stiles was already hard and the hot pressure against his hip was so good. His own hard, leaking cock was pushing up against Stiles’ ass and it had been too long since Derek had felt this good. 

 

Stiles was ravishing his mouth again as his tongue mapped locked its way in, Derek was holding on to Stiles as he bucked his hips roughly against Derek. He could feel Stiles’ wet sweats through his own pajamas. At the rate Stiles was arching his back against him and pulling his hair, he wasn’t going to last long. Neither would Derek. 

 

Stiles pulled back for a second and put his hand against Derek’s cheek. That’s when he felt it. The ring.

 

Stiles’ engagement ring.

 

In less than a second, he dropped Stiles and stepped back. Stiles whimpered at the loss of contact and opened his eyed to look at Derek like he had just stabbed him.

 

Derek looked down at him but he felt like he was going to be sick. He felt like he was going to have a panic attack. Like he had felt all those years ago, right here on this spot.

 

“Derek—“ 

 

“No, Stiles. Just don’t.” 

 

Derek stepped back and Stiles was about to move toward him but he held his hand out.

 

“No, please don’t. Just don’t do this to me. You’ll be gone again. Married to someone. And I’ll be here, another six years before I can even go on a proper date. Just please don’t.”

 

“Derek, I—“

 

He turned his back on Stiles before he could talk again and got back to his car. He got in and drove away as soon as he could. All the way back, hot tears were filling up his eyes and blurring his vision but he kept on driving. Honestly, he wouldn’t mind if he ran into a tree right now. He wouldn’t mind if he never woke up again. But Derek Hale was never that lucky.

 

He got home, popped two sleeping pills and forced himself to lie down. Tomorrow was Saturday and he was baby-sitting for Laura so he needed his sleep. Before he knew it, he was out of it. If he woke up that night, trembling and crying it was no one’s business but his.

***

Stiles sat stunned on his front steps. His hand touching his lips that were now wet and swollen. His whole body was hot from where Derek had touched him. His sweats wet where his pre-come had soaked through. He was sitting there thinking what he had done.

 

What he had done just now and what he had done six years ago.

 

What he had done that had left Derek so broken that it took him six years to go on a date with someone. And he had ruined that too. Why couldn’t he just stay away from Derek?

 

He was engaged to someone and Derek seemed to be the one reminding him every time. Stiles knew that some part of him would always belong to Derek. But he didn’t know that he still felt so strongly about him. That he was still in love with him. 

 

Because that’s what this was, wasn’t it? He was still in love with Derek.

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I hope all the building up tension and glaring was worth it in the end. I know this is probably the worst AU ever 'coz it hardly follows the movie but I'm trying to keep everyone in character. I was not born to write smut so please forgive me for that poor attempt. Also, I hope everyone's satisfied with the town people being yelled at. The Stiles/Sheriff moment is coming soon too. So, don't forget to leave a comment. The more you guys write back. the more it makes me want to write. So leave a comment!


	8. Author's note:A question for everyone

So at the risk of getting everyone's hopes up that the new chapter is already out and being hated for it, I wanted to ask for advice. After this fic is over-it is very close to the end-I am planning on starting another one. I was thinking maybe a New In Town AU. But given how this one turned out, it'd probably be just following the story slightly and the rest will be mine. However, I am doubtful about who gets to be the new outsider and who gets to be a town person. I'm thinking Stiles should be the new manager. But let me know what you all think.

Also since there are some similarities between NIT and Sweet Home Alabama, you could recommend me some other prompts. I don't usually write but I'm feeling too good right now so it's best to take advantage of this writing mood. So feel free to give me ideas, I'll definitely try to write.

And thanks everyone for their support on this fic. Good news, next chapter is halfway done and it'll be up soon. And for being so nice to me, here's a bit I've already written:

Stiles was the handling everything actually. Since Allison was pregnant and not really a mobile bride and Scott was an incompetent puppy who was freaking out over the wedding and the said bride.

 

Stiles ended up taking care of everything from the caterers to the flowers. Well, he tried. Allison was very satisfied with all his choices although Scott tried to butt in into everything at the last moment. Well, how he worked was that he was absent for most of the choosing process and then he would show up when after hours of arduous labor Stiles would pick something. Then he would proceed to make puppy eyes at Stiles and tell him to change it. Then Stiles would give in and do everything all over again. Then of course, the final step- He would call Laura to come in and demand that Scott do everything that Stiles said. It worked out fine in the end.

 

He was exhausted by the time everything was in place. It was Friday and the wedding was to be on Sunday. Stiles was almost confident that things would turn out fine. Even though Laura was the Maid of Honor, Stiles was the one who had handled pretty much everything.

 

Thanks.


	9. I can't seem to remember to forget

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the next chapter will most probably be the last one. The title is from the Shane Mack song 'Remember to forget'.

"I remember every breath right up until the day you left, oh  
Baby I remember you, but I can't seem to remember to forget.  
Uhm, forget about you baby"

 

Stiles was still not fine with what he had realized - rather unconventionally - last night. He spent the whole night tossing and turning in bed, thinking about how this could change everything. And he spent the rest of the early morning sitting up at the living room couch typing out the events of yesterday in sterling detail hoping that it would make things easier to understand. It didn’t help. 

 

His father came in around nine and found him crouched over his laptop. Without a word, the Sheriff proceeded to check his temperature. Stiles flinched away at the contact which earned him raised eyebrows. He was playing silent cop. Oh, the teenage memories that brought along.

 

“I’m fine dad.”

 

“Are you, Stiles?”

 

“Yes, father.”

 

“What are you doing up so early? I thought you went to the festival last night?”

 

“I did.”

 

“And?”

 

“And what?”

 

“Did you get drunk again? Did you kiss—“

 

“No, dad. I didn’t drunk-kiss anyone.” Which was true. He wasn’t drunk when he kissed Derek last night. So technically, he won.

 

“Stiles, I thought we—“

 

“Yes, dad. We talked about this. Yes, dad. I understood.”

 

“Don’t be a smart-ass with me. What are you doing up?”

 

“I couldn’t sleep.”

 

“Why?”

 

“I don’t know.”

 

“Did you and Derek have another—“

 

“Oh god, dad. Can you quit advocating him for a second? What’s gotten into you? You’re defending him left, right and center. Whatever happened to Stiles, your son?”

 

“Stiles, I’m not—“

 

“What? Not defending him? Sure and I’m a werewolf. I mean I know you two are close now. I get it, you were like his father after the—you know. But why do you think he’s so fragile and delicate that he needs you protecting him? From me?”

 

“You don’t get it St—“

 

“I want to. So tell me.”

 

“Its’ not that simple.”

 

“It really is. Just start talking.”

 

“I’m going to bed, Stiles. Melissa should be back in an hour. Get her to give you something if you can’t sleep by then.”

 

“Dad—“

 

“Go sleep, Stiles.”

 

And just like that he was a sixteen years old again. Left standing in the room talking while his father finished and walked upstairs. Then he didn’t like it because his dad was always right. But now, he was losing his temper and his patience. His dad was the President of the ‘Derek Hale’ fan club and he was choosing him over Stiles, his own son. What the heck was going on? He was going to make it a point to bring it up at the dinner table. Which didn’t happen. Not that night or the night after.

 

In fact the whole week passed by before he even thought of the topic. Such was the force of the cluster-fuck that was Scott’s wedding. Stiles was the one handling everything actually. Since Allison was pregnant and not really a mobile bride and Scott was an incompetent puppy who was freaking out over the wedding and said bride.

 

Stiles ended up taking care of everything from the caterers to the flowers. Well, he tried. Allison was very satisfied with all his choices although Scott tried to butt in into everything at the last moment. Well, how he worked was that he was absent for most of the choosing process and then he would show up when after hours of arduous labor Stiles would pick something. Then he would proceed to make puppy eyes at Stiles and tell him to change it. Then Stiles would give in and do everything all over again. Then Scott would comment on how it was better before. Then of course, the final step- He would call Laura to come in and demand that Scott do everything that Stiles said. It worked out fine in the end.

 

He was exhausted by the time everything was in place. It was Friday and the wedding was to be on Sunday. Stiles was almost confident that things would turn out fine. Even though Laura was the Maid of Honor, Stiles was the one who had handled pretty much everything.

 

And the one thing that he was actually looking forward to handle- The Bachelor Party. Well that didn’t happen.

 

That’s right ladies and gentlemen. There was no Bachelor Party. Scott McCall wanted to get married without a Bachelor Party. Despite of Stiles’ persistent persistence, Scott persisted harder. He won in the end. 

 

And why you ask? Because he didn’t want to leave Allison alone for any amount of time.

 

So naturally, Allison didn’t have a Bachelorette Party either, right?

 

Wrong.

 

Laura Hale threw her a Bachelorette Party when Scott was at work. Bam! That’s how you Maid-Of-Honor.

 

Laura-1

Stiles-0

 

Well, he got over it pretty quick because there were other important things happening. In Stiles’ life. Things called Andrew Hennings.

 

Yup, the forgotten fiancé. 

 

Well, on Wednesday Stiles had got a call from Drew asking him exactly what part of California he was from. On firm insistence, he confessed that he was going to fly out to California for a job related trip. That’s when Stiles realized that he had been so busy running away from his past that he had never even told Drew where exactly he was from. That was kind of a horrible realization but he kept it to himself.

 

In a further revelation, Drew told him that he was actually coming to Beacon Hills. 

 

Stiles stopped breathing for a second at that. And he stored that bit of information aside for further analysis at a better time. Right then, he asked Drew about this job.

 

“Well babe, how about I tell you when I get there? I don’t wanna talk about boring work stuff now that I’ve finally got you on the line.”

 

“Oh yeah, of course. So, you’ll be flying in on Friday?”

 

“Uh Saturday actually. I have some work pending for Friday. Why, is that okay?”

 

“Oh yeah, yeah it’s okay. It’s just that things are a bit crazy down here.”

 

“Oh what happened?”

 

Stiles proceeded to tell him all about Scott and Allison’s wedding which was hard given Drew didn’t even who those people were and why Stiles was the Best Man. That took a while but he was so glad he did it because the greatest idea came from it.

 

“And I am so exhausted of tasting cake and looking at flowers. I should be getting paid for this.”

 

“Now, now babe didn’t you say he was your best friend?”

 

“He is but still, this is hard work. I wish I had some help. There’s still things that need to be done.”

 

“Well, actually you could.”

 

“What?”

 

“You see Lydia has been pestering me about you. She came to the apartment yesterday. I didn’t have your number on hand then or she definitely would’ve called you. So, as I was saying. You could ask her to come down there. She’s on a break right now, her and Boyd. They could help you and we could all have a little vacation.”

 

Stiles was silent for a while trying to figure out if the danger of having Lydia Martin in Beacon Hills and meeting Laura Hale outweighed the benefit of giving Scott and Allison the perfect wedding. He thought of Scott’s puppy eyes and prayed once for the world to be safe from the force that was Dangerous Women in Stiles’ life and made a decision.

 

“That’s a great idea, babe. I’m gonna call her and ask her to come down here and bring Boyd. He can help too, I’m not sure doing what. But this’ll be fun. All of us together. So, I’ll see you Saturday then?”

 

“Yup see you Saturday. I love you, Stiles.”

 

“Love you too.”

 

He felt the littlest twinge of guilt when he said that. He knew full well why but he was going to employ his age-old, tested technique of ‘ignore it till it goes away’ to this situation. At least until Lydia Martin was in flesh and blood in front of him and he could pester her about it. Until then he avoided it.

 

Avoiding it was equal parts hard and easy. Hard because Derek was a big part of the wedding and Scott depended on Derek almost as much as he depended on Stiles. So he had to see Derek several times a day. Easy because Derek was avoiding him.

 

After that night, Derek had been cold to him. Usually he would mutter a quiet ‘Good morning’ and then stay away from him all day even when they worked in the same room. It had come close once when they had had to drive to Beacon Valley in Derek’s car. Which was a sleek, black Camaro. That Stiles wasn’t aware of. But now he was. And also of the fact that Derek had driven him in this car while he was passed out on the passenger seat before he had proceeded to carry him into his house. Carry him in his arms. 

 

That was a hard day. Stiles had kept looking over at Derek and almost broken the radio silence. Or more like jumped Derek and kissed him senseless. But he resisted. Barely.

 

So Derek was doing a good job of staying away from him. Which only made it harder for Stiles to stay away. If anything, it made him even more drawn to Derek. That’s how it had started, after all. 

 

All those years ago, when Derek had been a closed off stranger and Stiles had slowly wedged his way in. It had taken him years but he had done it in the end. And he remembered and cherished every second of it, of getting to know Derek. Of realizing how much he liked him. And hated some parts of him. And then falling in love with him. 

 

Only to leave it all behind. 

 

And now he was at that stage again, where Derek was a stranger to him. He cried that night. But it was okay, he was going to take care of this wedding first and then worry about himself. Scott came first. He always did.

 

***

 

Derek was losing his head. When he woke up on Saturday morning, his phone was ringing and of course it was Laura.

 

“Yeah?” He was still groggy and he sure wasn’t in the mood to converse.

 

“Did I wake you up?”

 

“Not that you’ll apologize if you did but yes you did.”

 

“Well, it’s babysitting-o’-clock. Get your ass up and get down here.”

 

“Laura, don’t swear in front of the kids.”

 

“Oh please Erica knows more swear words than I do and Jacks probably won’t even need words to be angry at people. He’s starting to do things with his eyebrows. Anyway, will you get here now or what?”

 

“Yes. Yes, I will. Just let me take a shower and I’ll be there.”

 

“Good can’t wait to see you, baby bro.”

 

‘Is that Der-bear?’ He could hear Erica in the background.

 

‘Yes, it’s him. He’s coming over. Hurry up, go get changed.’

 

Derek hung up and rushed into the bathroom. If Erica knew he was coming, he’d better be there soon or she’d start calling him every two minutes soon enough. As he stood at the sink and brushed his teeth, his eyes fell on his neck. There was a bruise there-dark red almost purple and he felt a jolt of current when he remembered Stiles mouthing at his collar-bone last night. He pulled his hand away and rushed into the shower. He was at Laura’s twenty minutes later with a turtleneck on. Laura was his sister and he loved her but she was nosiest bitch ever. And if she saw the hickey he’d never hear the end of it. So scratchy turtle neck that John gave him for Christmas years ago, check.

 

And it got worse over the week, the bruise and his head. He was forced to see Stiles every day because of the wedding. He wouldn’t have to if Scott wasn’t an idiot but leave it to him to ruin everything so Stiles always had to do everything twice and usually that involved Derek hanging around twice the required amount of time. Fucking Scott.

 

It almost came to a head on Tuesday when Derek had to drive Stiles to the valley. And it didn’t help that Stiles was all lounged out in the passenger seat reminded him of the night Stiles had been drunk. Although even now, Stiles was stealing glances at him and he might not know it but yes, Derek noticed. Also Stiles was twitching so much, it was like he was vibrating out of his skin. And like always, he was licking his lips and playing his long fingers over the dashboard in silent rhythms. And of course he sat with his mouth open like he always did, lips slightly parted and Derek almost had a coronary stopping himself from taking him right there and then. No big deal.

 

But he controlled himself because he remembered why he had stopped in the first place. Although, the most peculiar thing happened. Stiles wasn’t wearing his ring on Tuesday. Which was probably why Derek went so close to losing it that day. 

 

Maybe it was just an accident, maybe Stiles forgot it. But maybe he didn’t put it on on purpose. Whatever it was, Derek was very close to crossing the line he had decided he wasn’t going to cross. 

 

But finally the week came to a head. Everything was almost taken care of. It was Saturday and the wedding was almost here. He was very stressed out so he decided to go to the lake. That’s when he got a call from Laura asking him to come around to the Workshop.

 

***

 

So Stiles talked to Lydia. Finally. But he didn’t mention his situation. Oh no, it was the wedding first and right off the bat, Lydia Martin took over. And she was still in New York. 

 

Stiles was so excited to see her after so long. When he’d told Scott and Allison about Lydia and Boyd coming, they had seemed so excited about meeting his friends and especially ones that could help with the wedding. 

 

Stiles had booked them all into the Waverly Inn along with the rest of the wedding party. He didn’t think about Drew’s living situation until he realized that he hadn’t introduced his dad to his fiancé yet. And it would be a little weird if the first words Drew said to his dad were ‘I hope you don’t mind me staying at your house.’ And that’s why he got Drew a room at the Inn too. About his dad meeting Drew, well they’ll cross that bridge when they got to it. 

 

Which didn’t turn out to be that long at all because Saturday morning he came down to breakfast and the first thing his dad said even before good morning was,

 

“Scott told me you have friends flying in from New York? No need to tell your old man?”

 

“Oh right, sorry dad. I totally forgot to tell you.”

 

“Is there anything else I should know about?”

 

“Well you’ll meet Lydia and Boyd. They actually work with me at the New Yorker and apparently they’re off work so I just thought they’ll come down here and we’ll have a vacation of sorts. That and Lydia will take over the wedding because I am finished.”

 

“So you’ll be leaving with them, then?” This was said without the edge of the previous statements and Stiles knew Melissa had a hand over his dad’s hand under the table because she moved it not so subtly. He knew she was trying to be supportive and he was the last person who wanted to hurt his dad.

 

“I’m not sure yet. I haven’t thought about it but I’ll let you know.”

 

“That’s okay Stiles. And don’t worry too much, the wedding will be fine. I’m sure you did a great job.”

 

“Thanks Melissa.” That was the first time he had called her that and it felt right. 

 

“Oh and dad, Andrew’s coming too.”

 

Cough. Coffee out the Sheriff’s nose. Wet table. Choking. That turned out well.

 

“What?”

 

“Well like I said I forgot. But he’s here for work—“

 

“You forgot about your fiancé? The guy you’re going to marry?”

 

Stiles felt guilt curl up in his belly like he hadn’t felt in years. Not since he had accidentally killed a cat. But he thrust it down. Forcefully.

 

“Look I’ve been really busy with the wedding okay? So forgive me if I forgot to mention it to you.”

“Is he going to be at the wedding?”

 

“Is that a problem?”

 

“Stiles?”

 

“I don’t know yet. I haven’t talked to him about it. Is it a problem dad?”

 

No answer. Both his dad and Melissa wordlessly stood there. Well, he needed an answer.

 

“Dad? Melissa?”

 

Silence.

 

“You haven’t even met him yet. Are you even happy for me?”

 

“Stiles I am happy for—“

 

“Well act like it, then.”

 

“I’ll act like it when you act like a mature adult. You’re bringing your new fiancé here when you know Derek will be there. Are you even—“

 

“Derek of course. Him, again. Actually dad why don’t we finish that talk we started about him. Are you going to tell me why you’re choosing Derek over Drew when you haven’t even met him yet? Isn’t that very—“

 

“I’m leaving for my shift.”

 

And another conversation finished before Stiles could get an answer. 

 

He realized then that he hadn’t thought about Drew and Derek in the same place before. Here comes the guilt again. He didn’t want to hurt Derek but when he thought about it, having Drew here and with him at the wedding would definitely hurt him. Especially after everything that had happened lately.

 

His dad was already walking out the door but he stopped for a moment.

 

“I’m sorry I’ve been a bad parent. I am happy for you, for both of you and I’d love to meet him. But the wedding is not the place. I didn’t raise you to be so insensitive, Stiles.”

 

Melissa hugged him and left for work too and Stiles was standing fixed on the same spot thinking about how utterly insensitive it was of him to have Drew at his arm at the wedding. When he had been making out with Derek not a week ago. When Derek hadn’t had a relationship in six years because of him. When Derek had gone after him to New York but chose to let him follow his ambitions instead while he waited.

 

Stiles was so lost right now, he’d probably do whatever Lydia asked him to. Lydia. Oh right he was supposed to go pick them all up at the airport. He locked the house and hopped in his rental to drive to the airport.

 

All the way there, Stiles thought about how everything had changed in less than two weeks. Six years he had spent avoiding and ignoring everything and in two weeks it was all different. He had had this image in his head for six years about Beacon Hills and about Derek but now it seemed that that image had been wrong. That he had been living with a false reality.

 

He thought about how night after night he had laid awake in his bed craving Derek’s touch. How he had spent days thinking about Derek and what could have been. How he had spent years trying to forget him and who was he kidding, he had never forgotten Derek. Not for one second. He may have spent years thinking of what was wrong with Derek and why he wasn’t the one for Stiles but these two weeks had changed every idea he had come up with. About Beacon Hills and about Derek Hale.

 

***

 

As he stood in the Arrivals bay waiting for everyone to come out, Stiles tried to force his brain shut. Now was not a good time to have epiphanies. Especially the life-changing kind. Neither was this the time to doubt his decisions. So he foccused on the task at hand.

 

Lydia looked like she always did - perfect. Even her hair was perfect and not a single wrinkle in her clothes. She saw Stiles and a huge smile split her face as she walked over and hugged him. The air rushed out of his lungs when she threw herself on him. The last time air had rushed out of his lungs he was--- wrong territory, brain.

 

Boyd looked bored and unimpressed as usual, he came over and offered a one-arm hug. They waited for a few moments before Drew came out, talking on the phone. Stiles took their luggage and put it in a cart and they started walking toward the car. As they loaded up the luggage, Lydia asked him about the wedding and he was about to answer when he felt arms crossing across his chest from behind. 

 

Drew and he stood talking outside the car as Lydia rolled her eyes from inside and Boyd was busy typing on his phone.

 

“So how’ve you been?”

 

“Oh I’m okay, you?”

 

“I’m fine too. You look very different Stiles. Are you sure you’re okay?”

 

“Oh yeah, I’ve just been very busy lately. Lot of walking and lifting. Weddings are tiring.”

 

“I’ll make sure to get Lydia take care of everything for ours.”

 

Stiles froze. Because amidst all this madness and nostalgia, he hadn’t thought of this. He was getting married too. To Andrew. Some day, but he was going to get married. Wow, how do you forget something like that? Apparently, you can.

 

“Can we go already?” 

 

“Yes Lydia, we can. Stiles you’re sweating. Do you want me to drive?”

 

“Huh? Oh no, that’s okay. You wouldn’t know where to go. I’ll drive.”

 

“Okay.”

 

The first half hour was spent talking about New York and what all was new. Stiles caught half of it and quite honestly he didn’t care about that half either. He was still trying to work out the wedding, Drew and Derek. That was one topic too many. Then Lydia started talking about what all she was going to have to change in the wedding plans and whether she could meet all the people today. Stiles nodded numbly and forcefully brought himself back to the present.

 

Then Drew dropped the bomb. 

 

“Actually, Stiles I need to get my work done today so could you drop me somewhere?”

 

“Uh oh yeah right, your work. Are you gonna tell me what it is?”

 

“I’m writing a review piece on—“

 

“Oh god do we have to talk about work on our vacation time? You were talking about work on the phone when we arrived too.”

 

“Yes well I had to make sure they were available before I dropped in. Stiles, do you know anyone by the name of Hale?”

 

The car swerved into the wrong lane, he felt Drew’s hand on his shoulder and Lydia cursing from the back seat but all Stiles heard was the pounding of his heart. He was a believer of miracles and that’s why he thought about the very, very small chance that Drew had not actually said that but his over-active imagination had made him think he did.

 

“Stiles, are you okay?”

 

“Oh yeah yeah, there was a racoon.”

 

“Do you need me to drive? You don’t look so good.”

 

“No, I’m good Lyds.”

 

“Right so anyway do you know any Hales?”

 

So not his imagination then. Well, if he was going to die, a heart-attack or car accident would be a good way to go.

 

“Derek Hale?”

 

“Uh no, Laura Hale.”

 

Okay, this was good. Not really no but still. At least it wasn’t Derek.

 

“Yeah I do know her. So what’re you reviewing again?”

 

“You need to see this, babe. I don’t want to spoil it for you. But I promise you’ll love it.”

 

“I’m sure.”

 

Soon after that he was given directions to drive into the Preserve. Where the Hale house had been but thank god they took a right turn somewhere in the middle because the house had been on the left part of the Preserve near the lake. So chances of running into Derek were lower on this side, if only marginally.  
They finally came to a stop outside a cottage of sorts, there were a few other cars parked in the clearing. Drew got his phone out and started dialling.

 

“Babe why don’t you guys go inside? I’ll meet Ms. Hale and then I’ll join you. I promise you’re gonna love this.”

 

Stiles wasn’t so sure about that. He wanted to run away right now, leave the car behind and just run toward his house and hide away before Laura saw him. But he also wanted to see what Laura had done to make the New York Times send Andrew to write a review piece about. Tough choice.

 

But it was taken out of his hands when Lydia pulled on his elbow and he was taken inside against his will or general consciousness really because he was far too busy looking around. There were people milling about and oh. Paintings. 

 

So that’s what all the fuss was about. Lydia cooed over a portrait of a wolf. Well it was beautiful. Wolves weren’t supposed to be beautiful but this one was. It seemed so real with its rich black fur and piercing red eyes and all the adjectives that came to Stiles’ mind-elegant, majestic, regal, stunning and just simply beautiful- were wrong to describe wolves. And how had Laura made it seem so real. There were no wolves in California. 

 

Stiles somehow tore his eyes away from the wolf and took a step toward the next picture. It was Jackson. He was sleeping with his thumb in his mouth and Laura was sitting next to him. Stiles had seen baby Jackson and he could attest to the fact that not a single hair was out of place. And Laura looked just as magnificent as she did in real life. Even more so.

 

The next one was Erica. She was younger, about two maybe and she was sitting on a blanket in the grass and the lake was behind her. The sun was out and the colors beautifully reflected how she would have looked with the sunlight playing on her face. But there was something about this picture that made Stiles think that he had misjudged Laura’s affection with Erica. When he had met them at the festival, Laura had seemed more taken with her son and Erica was wrapped up in Derek. 

 

The next one took his breath away. Literally.

 

His feet stopped and so did his heart. His eyes got stuck and Lydia bumped into him because he had stopped mid-step. She was shaking him by the shoulder but all Stiles could feel was a distant touch and a far-away call of his name.

 

It was him. In the picture, it was him. 

 

Sitting in front of his mother’s grave. About eight or nine years old. Stiles remembered it, it was the night he had met Derek at the Cemetery. The night Derek had stood there watching him as he cried in front of his mother’s grave. The night Stiles sat with him between the Hales’ graves.

 

That’s when it hit him.

 

Derek had painted these, not Laura. She couldn’t have, she wasn’t there. Derek was.

 

All of a sudden, it all made sense. Erica was Derek’s whole world and that picture reflected just that. Only Derek could see her like that, like she was the most beautiful little girl in the world. Laura sitting next to Jackson. Derek had painted Laura exactly like she was because she was all he had had for years. Because to him, she was perfect. 

 

And Stiles. As a little kid who sat talking to his mother because that’s what Stiles was to Derek. The kid who had made him smile that day in the station. The kid who had sat with him in front of his parents’ graves silently for hours. The kid who had made a place for himself in his life and in his heart.

 

Stiles’ back was to the painter in the picture. His profile was visible but not his face. He looked around and realised that the next picture was him playing Lacrosse but everything else was faded out. Only Stiles - in his jersey with his crosse clutched in his hand, running - was visible. But his face was covered by his helmet. This was the night he had played his first game and scored his first goal. The night he had kissed Derek for the first time.

 

He was jerked out of his stance by a creaking sound behind him and he turned to find Derek walking down the stairs but just as his eyes met Stiles’ he stopped. Stiles tried to tear his eyes away but he couldn’t. Derek looked at him with a surprise in his eyes and the shock was evident on his face, like he had never expected Stiles to see the pictures. 

 

Stiles was distantly aware of Boyd whistling somewhere behind him. 

 

‘I saw him first.’ Boyd spoke in that sultry voice he used only when he was drunk or flirting.

 

‘I think he’s already taken.’ Lydia spoke from somewhere close to him. Stiles wanted to turn and ask her what she meant but he could hardly look away. Derek’s face softened for a fragment of a moment before he blinked and looked away. When he met Stiles’ eyes again, his face was hardened and his expression guarded and defensive. 

 

Stiles was about to ask - lord knows what - but before he could, Derek spoke up.

 

“Listen since you’re here, you and your friends should look around. Take a walk, there’s a deck.”

 

“Derek…”

 

He didn’t know how to get more words out. Derek looked back at him with a sad smile on his face and tore his eyes away.

 

“I’ll uh, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

 

***

 

Derek walked toward the Workshop when he got another call from Laura.

 

“Where are you? I am waiting here at the gallery.”

 

“I’m walking there right now. I’ll be at the workshop in a couple minutes.”

 

“Just hurry up.”

 

Oh how he wanted to wring her neck. She always forced him to go there on busy days and meet new people. He didn’t understand why but he had long ago learnt that this was an argument he was never winning. 

 

He didn’t get why he had to meet people when Laura was the one who talked to anyone who was interested in the paintings. Not that he was going to ever sell even one of them. She was the one who owned the gallery and the paintings as far as everyone was concerned. Only John and a couple other close friends knew that Derek was actually the one who painted and not Laura. He liked it that way. But she threatened him that she’d tell the next journalist who stopped by if he didn’t cooperate and be at her beck-and-call. So he obliged.

 

It seemed that today was a slow day, not a lot of cars. He wondered why Laura had called him today. Hopefully there wasn’t another journalist waiting for him when he got there, he hated talking to those and telling them what he thought of his sister’s gallery.

 

Derek ran up the back stairs and went to his private room that he slept in occasionally and changed into something more decent when Laura called him again to say that he should come down now and see her on the deck outside. He pulled on a shirt over his wife-beater and walked down the stairs.

 

But he forgot to take the next step when he saw Stiles looking up at him. He was standing next to one of the first pictures he had finished, the one with Stiles in his Lacrosse gear the night he had scored his first goal. Derek was lost for words as he tried to figure out what on earth was Stiles doing here. Laura had texted him that she was with a hot-shot writer from New York who wanted to write a review piece on his…

 

Writer. New York. Oh.

 

Derek was aware that Stiles’ friends from New York were coming to the wedding, John had told him just hours ago when he had run into him in town. But he knew that John wasn’t telling him something. He had hesitated and then left in a hurry.

 

Well, now he knew.

 

Stiles’ fiancé was here. To write a review on Derek’s paintings. 

 

He looked away and told Stiles to look around. Stiles looked back at him with something in his eyes that reminded him of all those years they had spent together when Stiles had looked at him like Derek was his whole world. It just reminded him that he was never going to get Stiles back. Derek got out of there as soon as he could. 

 

As he stepped out, he saw Laura standing next to a tall man dressed in a suit. She waved at him and the man turned to look but Derek didn’t have enough strength to do this. Not now. He turned around and walked away. He felt his phone ring in his pocket, it was Laura.

 

“Derek I didn’t know—“

 

“I’m going home, Laura. I’ll call you later.”

 

“Der, are you o—“

 

He hung up on her and kept walking till he got home. He made himself a pot of coffee and sat down at the kitchen counter. 

 

He thought about the things he had buried for years. All the things that made him love Stiles. All the times together he dreamt of every night. The day Stiles left Beacon Hills. The day Stiles left him. The day he went to New York after Stiles. 

 

The day he saw Stiles again. The moment when Stiles kissed him outside the bar. The moment when he carried Stiles to his bed. The moment Stiles told him he missed him. Last week when he kissed Stiles.

 

Just now when Stiles looked at him with love in his eyes. When he saw Stiles’ fiancé.

 

It was hard for him. He had learnt to bury things early on in his life. To shove them down so deep that they disappeared. But right then, he thought about it all. He told himself that even three years ago, he hadn’t let go of Stiles. He had never let go of Stiles despite what he told himself.

 

But now he was going to. Because he had beaten himself up enough. All his life, he hadn’t loved anyone as much as he loved Stiles. But he couldn’t fool himself anymore. 

 

It was hard accepting that he’d never have Stiles. He knew last year, last week and also this morning but he kept hoping, but right now he was admitting that there was no other possibility. 

 

He finished his coffee, got up and drove over to Scott’s house to see if he needed any help for tomorrow. He was going to deal with everything else once this wedding was over.

 

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Right so before someone kills me, the Stiles-Sheriff conversation is far from over. There will be more in the next chapter and it will be good, trust me. Don't forget to tell me how you liked this!


	10. What I don't know is never gonna hurt me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So remember when I said there's one more chapter to go. Yeah, that's not happening. I just realized I wanted to add more so there will be at least one more chapter after this. The one with the wedding.

Stiles stood there fixed on the spot, staring at the staircase where Derek had been standing a moment ago but wasn’t anymore. He was aware of Lydia calling his name but it sounded like she was far away and everything else stood still. It was as if the people around him were on mute and the motion slowed down. He recognized this sensation, from his years as a kid. He was having a panic attack. Hadn’t had one in a while. Well, here it was now. The world in slow-mo and pretty much stark still while he tried to cope with the lack of air in his lungs. 

 

And then all the sounds of the world around him came sweeping in and he felt like his ears might be bleeding from the sudden assault, when he saw Laura walk in followed by Andrew. She was looking at Stiles like she’d seen a ghost. His brain kick-started and everything made sense in less than a second. 

 

“Stiles…”

 

“Ms. Hale, this is my fiancé I was telling you about. You know each other I believe.”

 

“Uh, right. Okay. Mr. Hennings, excuse me a minute, I have an important call to make. Why don’t you look around?”

 

Laura pretty much ran out with her phone clutched in her hand, Stiles turned toward her but his body was still not up to its usual potential. He could do nothing but gawk at her retreating form. He caught a bit of what she said as she was just stepping outside.

 

“Derek I didn’t know…”

 

He stood there stupidly staring at the huge door wondering just how badly he had messed up this time.

 

“Babe, you okay?”

 

He knew he had to answer soon, but he just needed a minute to process everything. To push down the overwhelming wave of guilt rising up again. To stop himself from working up another panic attack.

 

“Stiles you don’t look so good.”

 

“Stiles?”

 

“I uh, I think I need to lie down.”

 

“Yeah sure, let’s—“

 

“No. You stay here and finish what you were doing and I’ll go home. I’ll see you guys later.”

 

“Stiles, you are not driving like that. Plus me and Boyd don’t have to be here so we’ll go with you.”

 

“Thanks, Lyds.”

 

“Just hand me the keys.”

 

“Drew, I’ll see you later.”

 

“Yeah, you go home and rest up. Don’t be too worried about the wedding, it’ll be perfect.”

 

“Thanks. I’ll see you.”

 

Lydia was driving his rental right now while he stared out of the window thinking back to how Derek had smiled sadly at him before leaving. Of course he had figured out that Stiles was here with his fiancé. That’s what Laura meant on the phone, that she didn’t know it was his boyfriend who was doing the review. And why did Andrew think it was Laura who painted? Is that what they had told everyone, is that what everyone thought?

 

Why did Derek have to go and do this? Why did he have to remember things about him, from years ago better than he did? Why did he have to remind Stiles of all the times when he had slowly fallen in love with him? And why did he have to pretend to the world that he was nothing more than a fixed-income deputy when he created the most beautiful illusions that you could easily get lost in?

 

Lydia parked in the driveway of his dad’s house and sat there looking at him till he realized that the scenery outside the window had stopped moving. When he turned to look at her, she was studying his form curiously and didn’t waste a minute in starting up the Lydia Martin Inquisition.

 

“Was that him?”

 

“Who?”

 

“The guy you’ve been in love with for at least six years.”

 

“Drew?”

 

“Stiles, you know who I’m talking about.”

 

“No, I don’t.”

 

With that he got out of the car, slammed his door to tell her that there wasn’t going to be any more discussion about this topic. She didn’t try to come after him.

 

“Okay, I’m just going to get Andrew and settle in into the Inn.”

 

He was being a shitty host. They didn’t even know the town and now Lydia was being forced to be the chauffer and drive around town fetching people and finding their own way to the Inn.

 

“Hold on, let me come with you.”

 

“Like hell you are.”

 

“You don’t even know the way to the Inn.”

 

“Well, I drove from the gallery to here so I can definitely go back. And I’ll ask for directions if I need to. How many Inns can be there in a town this small?”

 

“Well actually there—“

 

“Is it called Waverly?”

 

“How do you know that?”

 

“Don’t insult me, Stiles. I saw it on the way here, I can most certainly find it. You go in and sleep. I’m gonna call you and if you’re still up I’m gonna saw your balls off.”

 

Five years of knowing the woman and he still didn’t know when she was serious and when she was bluffing. Well, he never took a risk with her so he stepped back and waved as she drove away. 

 

He walked up the driveway but he was hardly aware of the motion, he was on auto-pilot. As he made his way in, he realized that the house was empty and he plumped down on the couch. Somewhere between the third and fourth time of replaying the last few days, he fell asleep. His dad didn’t wake him up today.

 

***

 

There wasn’t a lot left to do, everything had been taken care of. Stiles had managed everything perfectly. But Scott-like was expected of him- was freaking out. Over flowers, of all the things. Allison and he had been watching some movie where a wedding gets messed up because the flowers are wrong and the bride’s allergic to the ones the planner brought last minute. Scott was wreaking up a havoc when Derek had gotten there about Allison having allergies and the baby getting sick and being born with allergies or asthma. The idiot didn’t realize that he was the one who would be passing on Asthma to their daughter if at all. Scott was panicking so bad because Stiles wasn’t picking up his phone and he was the one who had handled flowers.

 

Derek thought about Stiles standing there in the gallery looking up at him like he used to all those years ago. He thought maybe Stiles wasn’t picking up because he was busy with his fiancé. And that was when he got up from the table and walked over to Scott who was yelling something and wrapped his arms around him. Scott stopped talking.

 

“Stiles took care of everything. Do you think he would let anything go wrong?”

 

“No but—“

 

“Scott, everything is going to be great. I promise you I’ll personally go and buy new flowers for the whole ceremony.”

 

“But what if Allison—“

 

“Okay pup, I need you to settle down. The reception’s on my property and Allison’s been going there since you two were fifteen. I think she can handle it. But if she has any allergies or anything, I’ve already got Dr. Hart on the guest list. Plus your mom will be there. And if we need to get her to the hospital, I’ll have my car ready with the wheel-chair and the emergency bag in the trunk, parked out front. Now will you settle down.”

 

He hadn’t talked that much in a while and with all the coffee he had been drinking, his mouth was dry. But at least Scott looked like he was satisfied with that speech and wasn’t going to bring it up again. Allison came in with tea and handed him his cup with a huge smile on her face. 

 

He returned her smile and she leaned up to kiss him on the cheek like she had started to in the last couple years, when he came over for dinner or breakfast especially after he helped with Scott with something. He felt a sense of calm wash over him. Like maybe everything would work out, just maybe.

 

He stayed for another hour pacifying Scott about his other concerns- Stiles was still not picking up, why isn’t he picking up Derek? Do you think I should go over and check? What if he’s not okay?

 

Allison shot him down but still called the Sheriff to check up on Stiles. He said he had just been told by Melissa that Stiles was drooling all over the living room couch. 

 

Derek finished his second cup of tea and bid his goodbyes till tomorrow morning. As he pulled out of their driveway, he thought about going to the bar for a beer. John had looked like he could use a beer when they’d met this morning. And he agreed when Derek called him with the offer. Usually, they went out for drinks on Tuesdays, just the two of them or Laura sometimes. Well, today was an exception because it was the day from hell and they could both use a couple drinks right now.

 

He was driving toward downtown when he remembered that Laura had asked him to buy a set of pliers this morning and he had totally forgotten in his haste to deal with everything. He parked outside the hardware store and ran in and out in under five minutes. He was walking toward his car when he bumped into someone. 

 

“Oh I’m so sorry, I—“

 

“Watch where you’re going.”

 

It was the guy Laura had been talking to at the gallery, the reporter from New York. Stiles’ fiancé.

 

“It’s okay.”

 

“No, I’m sorry I wasn’t paying attention, I’m a bit lost actually.”

 

Every fiber of his being yelled at him to run away, to just shut this man out but he was nothing if not a masochist.

 

“Oh?”

 

“Yes, actually I stepped out of the Inn looking for some coffee but I don’t know my way back. It’d be great if you could help. I’m staying at the—“

 

“Waverly, there’s only one Inn this side of town.”

 

“Oh, so could you direct me that way?”

 

Just stop. Please just stop before you hurt yourself more. Just please stop.

 

“I’m going that way, I could give you a lift.”

 

“Oh that’s very kind of you.”

 

“Sure, hop in.”

 

Derek knew he was going to regret this. He knew. It would make him more miserable if nothing else. A reminder that Stiles wasn’t his anymore. That he was someone else’s. And now he had a face to put to the nameless man who had been smart enough to hold on to Stiles.

 

“I could’ve walked, you didn’t have to drive me. This is very nice of you. Thanks. I’m Andrew Hennings.”

 

“No worries. Derek. Derek Hale.”

 

Maybe it was just his imagination but as soon as he said Derek, the guy whipped his head around and Derek could swear that he had narrowed his eyes for a second before schooling his face back to a polite smile that he had been wearing the whole time.

 

“Hale, any relation of Laura Hale?”

 

“Yes, she’s my sister.”

 

“Oh, so would you be the brother I was supposed to meet today?”

 

Derek winced. He just had to give him a ride didn’t he. Couldn’t have kept his mouth shut.

 

“Yes that’d be me. I’m sorry I couldn’t make it. Something came up.”

 

“Oh no, that’s perfectly fine. So then you know Stiles too? Stilinski?”

 

“Yes I know him.”

 

“So what was he like? As a kid? If you knew him that well.”

 

‘If he knew him that well’. What a joke. Stiles was all he had known for years, his entire world. And here he was, sitting with Stiles’ fiancé being asked how well he knew Stiles. His life had always been cruel but never so much. Never this much in the past.

 

“I knew him and his best friend, Scott McCall. We were, uh, we were friends.”

 

“So what was he like? I mean he’s very composed now but I’ve seen him on edge sometimes and I can’t help but think what he’d be like as a kid.”

 

Stiles composed. Huh. For all the time that Derek had known him, Stiles flailed his way into furniture or ran into walls or fell into rooms or just plain lost his balance and fell on his ass. He could pretend to be calm for everyone else’s sake but he was never composed. 

Maybe he had gotten better at pretending, Derek thought.

 

“He was a spastic, hyperactive teenager. He and Scott pranked pretty much everyone in town. People were scared when they saw the two of them walking down the street together. Laura and Stiles once pushed someone’s truck into the lake. Of course nothing was ever proven and there was a good reason for it but still.”

 

“Wow, that’s a side of Stiles I’m having trouble imagining. I mean I just know him to be this steady person who’s so innocent that people would never be afraid of him.”

 

“I don’t know about steady but he’s certainly not innocent. He blew up the local bank when he was 11.”

 

Hennings looked at him like he had started talking Elvish mid-sentence.

 

“He and Scott found a cat in the woods and the vet told them it had cancer so it should be put down by sucking its lungs out. Poor Stiles was so terrified of killing the cat that he stole it from the vet’s clinic and god knows where he found dynamite but he strapped it to the cat and set it free in the woods. As he’s watching from behind a tree, the cat ran towards town and ended up running inside the bank. No one died, not even the cat. Just some property damage and of course they couldn’t prove anything but everyone knows it was Stiles. Some people even claim seeing a burned cat around town even now. So he’s hardly the innocent bystander you believe him to be.”

 

That was quite a walk down memory lane. Well, he needed that drink now.

 

“Wow. I don’t even know what to say. It’s like I know a completely different person.”

 

Thankfully they made it to the Inn so Derek was saved from answering him because what was he going to say. That yes, you and me are in love with two different people.

 

“Well thanks a lot for the ride, Mr. Hale.”

 

“No worries.”

 

He drove away without another word because he did not want to hear see you tomorrow. He wasn’t sure if the guy would be at the wedding, well it would make sense that he’d be there with Stiles. But Derek didn’t want to think about it right now.

 

***

 

John was already drinking when Derek got there. He silently sat down next to him with a nod. John looked up from the table when he saw Derek and wrinkled his forehead. 

 

“Derek hey, I gotta talk to you about something.”

 

“Shoot.” 

 

“I don’t know how to say this really, I mean it’s just so—“

 

“I just met him John. I know.”

 

“What? Where?”

 

“Just ran into him in front of the hardware store. He’s a nice guy.”

 

“Yeah. I had an argument with Stiles this morning. It got really heated.”

 

“John I’ve been meaning to talk to about this. Look, I know you worry about me. You’re like a father to me and you care about me like your son but he is your son. I know about the wager at the station and I mean, it shouldn’t be like this. You love him with every breath in your body and I know it so why are you doing this?”

 

“You just, I don’t know what to tell you. He’s my son, he’s the only thing I’ve left from Claudia. I want him to be happy. I want you to be happy. And it’s just. You know you may have the rest of the world fooled but I know you’re just as much in love with him as you were ten years ago. You didn’t love that boy too much, you loved him too well. And at your age people just don’t know what to do with that.”

 

“John, I’ve accepted it. It’s okay, it’s gonna hurt for a while but I’ll be fine. You should be by his side.”

 

“I am by his side, always. It just pains me to see him giving up what I would’ve held on to if I had a chance.”

 

***

 

John Stilinski had fallen in love twice in his life. Once, the day he had seen Claudia Sheffield. And second, the day he had seen Claudia clutching their newborn son in her arms in the hospital. Stiles was everything to her and they were both everything to John. His whole world.

 

His whole world that was snatched away from him in the blink of an eye when Claudia had sat him down one night to tell him that she had cancer and that soon she will be gone. Snatched away so cruelly. But he lived through that, for his son he did.

 

And then one day his son sat him down in the same room and told him that he was moving to the other end of the country. This time he had a choice, this time he could do something about it. But he loved his son enough to think of his happiness and his dreams. He had a say in this matter but such was the cruelty of life that no, not really. He didn’t have a choice after all.

 

The last night that Stiles spent in Beacon Hills, John had sat in his room in the dark looking at his son thinking this was the last time he was seeing him before lord knows when. He had sat there thinking how peaceful Stiles looked and that tomorrow they’d be separated by hundreds of miles. He couldn’t help but wonder if Claudia was alive. If she was alive, would that have changed things? Would Stiles want to stay then?

 

John Stilinski had been lonely for nine years after his wife died. He was alone after that night.

 

***

 

“He’s made his decision, John. And I hate being the reason you two don’t get along. I resent it.”

 

“Yeah, I do too.”

 

“Hey, he’s happy. I’m happy for him. Now get off your ancient ass and get me a beer too.”

 

“Still your boss.”

 

“You can’t even spell your own face right now.”

 

“Point taken.”

 

They sat there talking about random things. For a couple hours and Stiles was on both their minds even if it never came up in conversation again. It was just two lonely men drinking, trying to forget what they’d lost in life. What they’d loved and lost. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm sorry for being so late but I had to move among other things but here it is finally. The wedding and all the drama will be in the next chapter. Also, apologies for there being little to no smut in this fic, i recently realized. All I have to say is, it'll be worth it in the end.


	11. I'll take the long way home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Right so here we are, all done and you don't have to read my stupid notes anymore. But just a couple things before you start reading, I hope you all like it. Just remember that I've worked very hard to finish this so. Second, I've seen people do this so I'm doing it(might be wrong) but in the end notes, you'll see links of what I pictured the characters to be wearing if you're interested. Also, like I said before I wasn't born to write smut so forgive me if you're disappointed. Last, don't forget to tell me how you like it and if you have any other prompts you might want me to consider!

"I couldn't look you in the eye  
And tell another lie  
Have to do this on my own  
I'll take the long way home, the long way home"

Scott stood there looking at Allison walking down the aisle with her father. She was the same girl he had fallen in love with when he was fifteen. He’ll never forget that day. He’ll never forget this day. 

 

She was the most beautiful woman in the world. 

 

He absently noted that Mr. Argent smiled at him, but all he could see was the girl he’d given his heart and his everything to nine years ago walking toward him carrying the most precious gift in the world- their daughter.

 

Everyone thought that he wasn’t very smart and Scott knew that he wasn’t. Everyone thought that his entire world revolved around Allison and it did. But one thing they were wrong about was that he didn’t care about anyone other than Allison. Because right now as he stood next to Stiles and Derek, with his mom and Sheriff smiling from the first row and Laura and her kids beaming at him, as Allison walked toward him with Mr. Argent and their little girl, his life was complete. These were all the people he cared about. This was his whole world and everyone was happy and that’s why Scott McCall was happy. 

 

***

 

Today was the day his best friend was getting married. They had been planning this day since they were four and Stiles wasn’t going to let his own turmoil ruin it. He was going to pretend, for Scott’s sake. For everyone’s sake. He had gotten really good at fooling people over the years.

 

No one needed to know that there was a storm brewing inside him. That he was questioning everything he had been sure of just weeks ago.

 

So when he walked out of his room dressed in his silver vest and matching bowtie, you couldn’t tell that he had even a single worry in the world. Melissa wolf-whistled at him after John hugged him and told him he looked perfect. Stiles hugged him back because it felt like he was finally talking to his dad. 

 

When he saw Scott in his impeccable suit and perfectly styled hair, he couldn’t help but grin and just launch himself at his best friend. For a moment, he forgot everything about his problems and his life. It was like they were back in high school, they had each other, they were happy and life was great. 

 

After Scott finally let him go he spent a good while checking on the arrangements. Everything looked great, everyone was ecstatic. The whole town was in the church and while Stiles expected a repeat of the usual glaring/scowling routine, he was pleasantly surprised.

 

Just as he was walking from the car toward the church, Miss Carmichael had waved at him and smiled brightly. He may have been confused for a second before waving back. As he was standing with Scott later, there were quite a few people who came over to talk to him. They would stop and greet Scott but then they’d touch his arm or pat him on the shoulder, and he felt like he was sixteen again. With everyone being wary of him and Scott but at the same time treating them like they would their own children. 

 

He may have hated this town but he’d lying if he said he didn’t miss the warmth. The warmth of Ms. Judith’s hand on his fore arm. The warmth of Mrs. Hoechlin’s smile as he helped her cross the street. The warmth of walking down the street and being asked how his day was by everyone he crossed. The warmth of home. 

 

And that’s why it had hurt him so much when everyone in town had decided to hate him.

 

But it looked like they didn’t anymore. Because everyone else aside, even old man Jenkins made an effort. He came and stood next to Stiles –voluntarily- as he was waiting for the pastor and told him he looked good. See, Jenkins didn’t do compliments. No, he did yelling and accusing and complaining. But here he was, actually making an effort. Stiles sighed as he walked in behind Mr. Jenkins and the pastor, he looked at Scott talking to his mom and his dad and he smiled to himself. This one time, he wasn’t pretending for anybody’s sake.

 

***

 

So everything might have been going great but the whole world froze when Derek walked in. He was wearing a dark suit, his hair brushed back and little Erica walking next to him holding his hand. Stiles could feel eyes on him, a lot of eyes but he couldn’t look away. And Derek was looking right back at him. 

 

But then he stopped walking, Stiles watched as he handed Erica to Mr. Harris who was already seated and then he walked toward him.  
“The car’s out front. Everything’s taken care of.”

 

He had no fucking idea what Derek meant by that or why Scott was nodding and thanking him and now hugging him. He stood there like an idiot trying to pry his eyes away from Derek’s. He remembered them to be beautiful green orbs that would stare back at him with so much fire. Derek was one of those people whose eyes changed color every second and you could never tell what color they actually were or if there was even a word for that color. Stiles remembered looking at them while Derek read or busied himself with something. He would just openly stare and try to figure out what color they were. 

 

But he had never seen them this light before. Or maybe Derek’s face was too pale. 

 

“Okay let’s start.”

 

Scott pulled him out of his daze. He looked away quickly as the music started and Allison appeared with Mr. Argent. She looked beautiful as always. He looked over to see Scott watching her with so much love in his eyes that Stiles knew Scott wasn’t just happy because he had Allison. He was happy because Allison was with him and so was everyone else he cared about. And then Scott looked around the room for a second and his eyes lit up even more. He looked at him like he was grateful that Stiles could be here. His brother was getting married and Stiles couldn’t be happier for him.

 

But looking at Scott and Allison walking toward him, he couldn’t help but wonder how it felt to see that one person walk toward you like you were all they wanted in life. He couldn’t help it when his eyes landed on Derek. He was looking back. For a brief moment, Stiles forgot that the last six years had happened. 

 

***

 

The wedding was beautiful, everything was perfect and everyone was perfect. Scott couldn’t stop smiling and Allison couldn’t look more satisfied. The whole town was here to be part of their happiness and it was everything Stiles wanted his wedding to be like. Right now everyone was just settling in for lunch and every part of it was great. 

 

Since the lunch and reception were going to be on the Hale property, Stiles hadn’t been involved in getting the place ready. Derek hadn’t asked and he hadn’t offered. But his help wasn’t needed in the first place because when Scott had seen it for the first time, he ran toward Derek and hugged him really hard. Allison was beaming and she kissed Derek on the cheek. He had done it perfectly.

 

Stiles wasn’t sure where he should be because it felt weird being back here. Basically, this was where the old Hale house was before the fire but now it was an empty clearing. The lake was deeper into the woods. He remembered coming here with Derek some nights, when he couldn’t sleep. Derek hardly talked about his family but when they came here, he would open up and get this look in his eyes. This look that screamed loss. Pain. 

 

But apparently he had gotten over that because right now he was looking anything but in pain as he stood talking to that woman he’d been on date with that night at Moe’s. Some English teacher, Laura had told him. 

 

And he looked like he was more on ease now, like the place didn’t bother him anymore. Stiles didn’t want to be caught looking at Derek so he turned around and started looking for Drew. He and the others had made it to the wedding too and Lydia had taken over like promised. Boyd was sitting with Mr. Harris and Erica, looking eternally bored. He found Drew at the bar nursing a glass of whiskey. They started talking about New York and then he let it slip.

 

“Hey, uh your dad came and found me.”

 

“What?”

 

“He walked up to me and said he wanted to talk.”

 

Oh fuck. Shit. No. NO.

 

“What’d he say?”

 

“He just asked me a few questions and then he told me how much he loves you and that if I hurt you, he’ll hurt me. He also let it slip that he not only owns a service pistol but also a shotgun at home.”

 

“Oh my god” Stiles groaned. Why did his dad have to treat him like he was sixteen.

 

“And then we just talked a bit about New York and he wanted to know about your work. He told me he’s read everything you’ve written but he didn’t wanna tell you cuz you’d make a face. It think it’s adorable.”

 

“Oh god, stop”

 

“And then he just called Melissa over and they both congratulated me. He called me ‘Son’.”

 

He sighed when he realized that his dad had been so nice to Andrew. He’d gone and found him on his own and then done the whole boyfriend threatening routine he used to do. And he hadn’t mentioned Derek.

 

Who was dancing with the teacher now. He wasn’t grinning goofily like he used to when Stiles forced him to dance in the kitchen but he looked like he was peaceful. Like he had given up all struggles in life and finally found calm. 

 

What Stiles felt as he watched them dance wasn’t just jealousy. It wasn’t just envy, it was a sense of loss. A sharp pain in his chest. An electric current coursing through his body. No, it wasn’t just jealousy. It was sadness. Like someone had yanked his heart out of his chest while he stood there and watched. 

 

It was so intense that he couldn’t stand there anymore. Looking at them like they fit together, he couldn’t. So he walked out and sat down on a rock a little ways away from all the celebration. His head was ducked as he tried to get his nerves under control without drawing attention to himself but when he looked up, his dad was sitting next to him.

 

“Hey”

 

“Hey, dad. Just talked to Drew, he told me you guys talked.”

 

“Just standard stuff. Nothing important.”

 

“Yeah” Just as he was speaking, he saw Derek walking out toward where the lake should be, followed by the teacher. The air rushed out of his lungs as he just sat there watching them walk away. It was like watching your life pass you by. He wanted to go after them, run after Derek. And it’d be like in those movies, he’d just run after Derek and then they’d be together forever and beyond. That if he could just move his feet and go after him, he could keep him. That it would all be okay.

 

“Stiles, please don’t—“

 

“Oh my fucking god, you have to be kidding me. You’re going to defend him again, aren’t you?”

 

His dad looked ashamed for a second but maybe that was just his eyes playing tricks on him because now he was looking ready for another one of his This-is-why-I-love-Derek talks.

 

“Look just, you’re happy with Andrew right so why do you have to--?”

 

“What? Look at him? Do I need your permission to look at him, now?”

 

“We both know you weren’t just looking Stiles. I know that look and it—“

 

“You know what dad, fuck you. No really, just fuck you. I mean whose dad are you anyway? I just can’t--“

 

“Stiles don’t use that language with me, I’m—“

 

“Holy mother of--, wow you’re actually correcting me for language right now? Who are you? You’re not my dad.”

 

“Stiles, I am your dad that’s why I—“

 

“What? That’s why you’re angry at me?”

 

“No, I’m angry at you because you are throwing away what people spend their whole lives yearning for! I’m angry because you hurt him, you broke him. He went to New York after you and he came back wrecked. I got a call from the airport about a rowdy passenger and when I went there, I saw him. A shell of a man. I lost him and he had an accident after that, I still don’t know what happened. I found him sitting on the front steps, trembling and tears streaming down his face. He didn’t even know where he was. I’m angry because that was me, I saw myself when I looked at him! I still do! I lost your mother because I didn’t have a choice, he let you go because he thought that’s what you needed. He did it by choice. I can never imagine letting your mother go if I had a say in it. I’m angry because you’re too stupid to hold on to what I had to give up, what I was forced to give up. I’m angry because I know you still love him! I’m angry because I know Stilinski men fall in love only once! I’m angry because you’re not just killing him, I’m angry because you’re killing yourself!”

 

“Dad…”

 

“No, just. Make your own decisions son, I love you. And I’ll agree with whatever you decide but just make a decision. I’m only thinking of Derek because I’ve seen him on his lowest and I know he wouldn’t survive if he thought he had you and lost you again. He went to New York to tell you that he’ll move, for you. But he told me he didn’t want to hold you back. I think he found out about Andrew but he never said. I want you to be happy and so does he, so just make a decision.”

 

“Dad, I—“

 

“Stiles, son take your time. I’m sorry for being such an asshole. I just don’t want either of you getting hurt. I know you can’t take another hit, either. So take your time, I’ll see you at the house.”

 

With that, he got up and patted Stiles on the back and went in. Stiles was just sitting there looking where Derek had just left with the woman and thought about what his dad had just told him. He had been angry at his dad for a while but he’d always known that there must be a reason for his behavior and he was right. His dad had first-hand witnessed Derek and him both getting hurt. Him, back when he had left after Derek’s rejection. And Derek three years ago after coming back from New York.

 

They never talked about his mother, maybe on her birthday or Christmas but never otherwise. Because frankly, it still hurt even though it had been fifteen years. He looked like his mother and seeing him reminded his dad, he knew. But the Sheriff never once turned away from him. It hurt him sometimes to look at Stiles and be reminded of what he had lost but he never looked away from his son. 

 

Stiles could see his pain seeping into his eyes when he talked of her. He was in shock right now because in the fifteen years since she had been gone, they had never talked about her so openly. Never acknowledged her place in their lives or her loss. His dad had never spoken about her. He knew how much his parents loved each other and how much her death broke his dad but he’d never heard it from him and today he had. 

 

His Dad finally confirming what he’d always suspected and deep-down known-- that a part of him died with his wife.  
And that he didn’t want the same fate for his son.

 

Because he knew that pain and he could see it in his son’s eyes. But he hadn’t forced him to go to Derek, no he just told him to pick Derek or leave him forever. So his other son didn’t get hurt.

 

While everyone else was dancing around, he sat on that rock and thought about everything his dad had just said to him. And the fact that he’d been trying not to say all this for days. Even when he knew that Stiles hated him, he still kept all this to himself and not giving him a reason for defending Derek.

 

Because that was the kind of parent Sheriff John Stilinski was, one who’d rather be hated by his son than emotionally blackmail him into a decision. But the thing was he wasn’t blackmailing Stiles. Because he had already been double-guessing his choices for days if not weeks.

 

Dangerous thought. Dangerous territory.

He got himself up and into the tent where everyone was watching Scott and Allison slow dancing to Stand by Me.

 

When the night has come and the land is dark  
And the moon is the only light we'll see  
No, I won't be afraid, oh, I won't be afraid  
Just as long as you stand, stand by me  
So darling, darling, stand by me, oh, stand by me  
Oh, stand, stand by me, stand by me  
If the sky that we look upon should tumble and fall  
Or the mountain should crumble to the sea  
I won't be afraid, no, I won't be afraid  
Just as long as you stand, stand by me

 

He moved to sit beside Mr. Harris while everyone oohed and aahed at Scott and Allison. It’s not that Stiles didn’t want to do it with everyone else or that he wasn’t happy for them. It’s just that he’d been seeing them slow dance/embrace/kiss/make out/practically make babies since they were fifteen. So, no he wasn’t really interested in standing and watching every song they danced to. The first one was beautiful and enough.

 

Interestingly, Mr. Harris, who was holding a very still and quiet Jackson smiled at him and nodded him over. Huh. Maybe his dad was right, Laura had changed him. Well, love really could do wonders.

 

As he slipped into the seat next to him and started thinking back to everything his dad had said, someone plumped onto the seat on his other side. He looked up to see Laura smiling at him. She gestured for her husband to hand her the baby who happily did so and then left them alone. Laura didn’t say anything for a while.

 

“You know, our mum used to paint. She taught Derek and he used to paint with her, before the y’know. It was the most important thing to him before it happened.”

 

Stiles listened to her intently because Laura was one of those people that you just listen to. Period. Because she only talked when she needed to and you listened when she did.

 

“I tried to get him to take it up again but he wouldn’t. I guess it reminded him of her, of both of them.”

 

Her voice broke when she talked of her mother, Stiles knew the pain too well. He put a light hand on her shoulder as she looked up through wet eyes at him and sadly smiled, that looked terrifyingly like Derek’s from yesterday. He pulled his hand back hastily but she didn’t seem to notice.

 

“Then he came back from New York and he called me and showed me the first painting he finished that same day. The only one he had because everything else was destroyed in the fire. It was the one where you’re sitting near your mother’s grave. That was his first ever painting he made without mum’s help. And it was perfect.”

 

Maybe she expected some reaction from him maybe not, but he was too far gone for words right now.

 

“You gave it back to him, Stiles. You brought him back when I couldn’t. It was you, Stiles. It was always you.”

 

Laura was definitely crying right now, for her brother or for him Stiles will never know. He was too lost in his thoughts to realize what she was saying. All he heard were mangled words about 'Derek building a new house right next to the lake and him living there. And he kept it in his pocket for years.'

He wasn’t really in the best state of mind right now because he had just made a life changing decision. 

The most important one.

 

***

 

“Andrew, I need to tell you something. I’m really sorry, I don’t really know how to—“

 

“It’s okay, Stiles. I know.”

 

“What?”

 

“I know. I’ve known for years. I had a feeling it wasn’t just your dad and this town that you left behind. I’ve always known that there was someone you’ve given your heart to and never really got it back. I just hoped that what we had was strong enough to last. I guess I was an idiot, hoping that I could give you enough love to make you forget.”

 

“Andrew, you never…”

 

“What? Told you? Come on, Stiles I knew you were trying to forget but I could tell. I know we were never in a wild, passionate love but I thought I could give you comfort and stability. But I guess I always knew that Derek was the one for you.”

 

“What? How—“

 

“You talk in your sleep. And you always talk to him. Over the years, I stayed up nights hoping to hear you talk to me but you never did. I met him the other day and I saw how he talked about you. The guy’s just as gone as you are, if not more.”

“Oh god, Drew. I am so so sorry, I don’t even know what to—“

 

“Hey Stiles, no. Don’t apologize. I guess I just have to find my Derek.”

 

“I do love you, Drew.”

 

“I know.”

 

“And I’m sorry.”

 

“I know.”

 

***

 

Derek remembered it like it was yesterday. Standing there in the window, watching Stiles drive away. Away from him.

 

Standing there with his car keys clutched to his chest looking down as the ratty blue jeep slowly disappeared from sight. Thinking that maybe, just maybe if he ran after Stiles and caught up with him that he’d stay. That he wouldn’t leave.

 

Like in all those movies where if you run after someone, you get to keep them. You have a happily ever after with them. He wanted to run all the way to the airport if need be, all the way to New York after Stiles. 

 

He also remembered standing there watching his life passing him by, his whole world crumbling around his ears as Stiles rounded the corner and disappeared.

 

***  
“Son you don’t look so good, sit and have a drink.”

 

“Are you sure Sheriff?”

 

“Yes I’m sure and I already told you it’s John.”

 

“You might want to change that seeing as how I’m not engaged to your son anymore.”

 

“I don’t think I want to change it.”

 

“Ms. Hale, how are you?”

 

“Mr. Hennings—Andrew, trust me honey you don’t have to worry about me. How are you?”

 

“I’m, well I’m fine I guess.”

 

“I’m really sorry about what happened. I know it might not mean much coming from me given that Derek’s my brother but I am really sorry.”

 

“Thank you and it does mean a lot, Ms. Hale. I don’t blame your brother or Stiles or anyone really.”

 

“That’s very kind of you and call me Laura.”

 

“You’re a good man, son.”

 

“Oh come on John, you said that this morning. You should be running me out of here right now.”

 

“I don’t want to run you out of anywhere Son. I know you’re hurting.”

 

“I’m fine. It is hurting, but I’m fine.”

 

“Well, drink up.”

 

“I guess I just didn’t love him enough. I always knew about Derek or at least I suspected. But I just hoped that we would work out in the end. I’m heartbroken but I’m fine, I guess I just don’t know how to love like those two do, with everything you’ve got.”

 

“You will, with the right person.”

 

“I don’t know, John.”

 

“You will. I know you will. My son and you were great together but he wasn’t the one for you or you him. You’ll find the right one, just hang in there.”

 

“I don’t think I feel love like that, in an extreme way. For me, it’s more like someone I can come back to at night or share a movie with but not like I heard Stiles talking in his sleep about Derek.”

 

“Take it from someone who’s loved and lost son, you will be talking in your sleep with the right one. You’re a good man and you’ll find him. I’m sorry I wasn’t very attentive all those years.”

 

“It’s okay you didn’t know. And I’m glad he found Derek. Hurt but glad.”

 

“Okay, here’s an unopened bottle of vodka, we’re all getting hammered.”

 

“Laura—“

 

“John shut up. Andrew, here you go take a shot.”

 

\--Ten minutes later--

 

“Sheriff, you should grow a moustache. Maybe a beard, no wait no. Just a moustache.”

 

“Oh can it, Andy. You’re drunk.”

 

“What, like a porn-stache?”

 

“Laura!”

 

“Yeah like that. Melissa might like it.”

 

“Yeah, I can see that. John, you should do it.”

 

“I’m not gonna grow a porn-stache. I’m the Sheriff.”

 

“So?”

 

“So, I have to look professional not like I just stepped out of a pornographic film.”

 

“But you do look like that.”

 

“Yes you do, actually.”

 

“Melissa. MELISSA DO I LOOK LIKE I JUST STEPPED A PORNOGRALIC FILM?”

 

“Oh my god, how much have you had to drink?”

 

“Just a tinkle.”

 

“Oh god. Scott, help me with these drunk idiots. What are you eighteen, John?”

 

“No, I’m twenty five.”

 

“Porn-stache starring in Silver Jubilee Bang.”

 

“Oh Sweet Jesus, they’re talking about porn. SCOTT GET HERE NOW.”

 

***

 

Oh god. Oh fuck. Holy god.

 

Drew knew. His dad knew. Laura knew. The whole town knew. Why the fuck didn’t anyone tell him?

 

Well, they did. Kind of.

 

Right now he was running toward the lake, totally from memory so he wasn’t sure he might end up on the other end of the Preserve. His nerves were probably going to work themselves over and then just crash and burn. He wouldn’t be surprised if he saw Derek and just keeled over and died because his whole body decided to shut down.

 

But the thought that Derek might give himself to someone else because he gave up on Stiles made him run faster. He thought maybe this is how Ross felt when he chased after Rachel fearing she might go to someone else and he might lose her forever. It was not a pretty feeling.

 

And to think that he had just left his fiancé heartbroken and his best friend’s reception half-way to find the damn lake.

 

***

 

And find it, he did. 

 

As he walked out of the clearing, he saw Derek sitting in front of a canvas with a brush in his hand completely lost to the world.

 

“Hey”

 

Derek started and his brush slipped from his hand. Stiles took in his form while Derek stared at him wide-eyed. His jacket was gone, his shirt crumpled and his sleeves rolled up till his elbows. There was some paint on his crisp white shirt and his hair was still perfectly styled.

 

“What are you doing here?”

 

“Looking for you.”

 

“Stiles, you should be with your fiancé.”

 

“No, I should be here. And I’m not letting you push me away again. I know about New York.”

 

He looked so shocked like he couldn’t fathom Stiles finding out and there was hurt on his face, actual disappointment. Probably for his dad.

 

“Why didn’t you tell me? Why didn’t you see me?”

 

“I did see you. You were happy. With your fiancé. So I left.”

 

“You couldn’t have stayed?”

 

“For what?”

 

“For the fourteen years I gave you? For the whole life I spent loving you?”

 

“Stiles, just—“

 

“No, I’m not going anywhere. You left me be because you thought you were holding me back. Who gave you the right to make decisions for me?”

 

“Stiles, I only did—“

 

“What’s best for me? No, you didn’t. You did what you wanted, without asking me. You asshole, you made us both miserable.”

 

“Look, it’s all done now so just—“

 

“No.”

 

“What do you want me to say? I left because you had already moved on, at least one of us was happy.”

 

“Bullshit, you had a fucking panic attack so don’t feed me shit about one of us being happy and you being accepting of it.”

 

“What do you want me to do? Apologise for thinking of you? I won’t. I had a panic attack because I finally realized that I can’t have you because we were both different people by then. I still have attacks some days thinking of the fire, thinking of you. I wasn’t accepting, I was just opening my eyes to the truth. I realized that the boy I’ve been in love with since I was fifteen was never coming back to me, I’m lucky I didn’t die that day.”

 

“I hate you. I hate you so much for doing that to yourself. For doing that to me.”

 

“Stiles just go home.”

 

“Derek, I love you. I have since I was nine years old and saw you in the station that night. I saw a boy holding back his tears so his sister could lean on his shoulder. I fell in love that night and I never really got back up. You make me nervous… and that hasn't happened for so long. You don’t know what you do, every time you walk into the room--- I'm afraid to move. For years, I’ve been trying to forget you and I end up thinking Derek would know how I can do it because you know me better than I do. You've brought me back, the me that I used to know, but lost somewhere along the way. Derek James Hale, you fixed me all those years ago. I was broken and you fixed me. Can you fix me again? Because I know I’ll break and you’ll break me endless times from here on out but will you fix me every time I break?”

 

He looked up from where he was kneeling down on one knee right next to Derek’s chair. Stiles looked up at him with a question in his eyes, an unasked question Derek had had all those years ago. But Stiles had never got to answer it then.

 

Derek looked down at him, he was sitting stock-still. Then he moved his hand to his breast pocket and removed something. 

 

It was the ring Stiles had clutched to, crying the day he had told Derek he was leaving. The ring Derek was going to propose with. 

 

“Yes.”

 

It was the faintest noise even though everything was silent around them, hardly above a whisper. Then he bent down and slipped the ring on Stiles’ finger. And it fit perfectly. Of course it did.

 

“Oh my god. It fits.”

 

“I had it sized. It was my dad’s. One of the only things left.”

 

“Derek—“

 

“Shut up.”

 

“Make me.”

 

“Have you been reading romance novels again?”

 

“No, that’s not what you’re supposed to say.”

He hardly got the whole sentence out before Derek pulled him up and was now kissing him, lightly with touches hardly there. He put his arms around Stiles and kissed him again. Then he pulled back to look at him and when Stiles opened his eyes with his lips still pursed, Derek grinned. He grinned like he used to, like Stiles hadn’t seen him do in years.

 

But before he could even begin to analyse that, he felt Derek’s lips back on his but this time there was pressure, oh sweet sweet pressure. He could feel Derek’s hands go down his back and behind his thighs, he got the message and lifted his legs to wrap them around Derek’s back. Right when he was clinging and he wrapped his arms around his neck, Derek licked his lips and while Stiles was getting used to Derek surrounding him with his arms and his scent and his lips, his tongue entered Stiles’ mouth and angrily claimed it.

 

He then started moving and Stiles was vaguely aware of his legs moving but with Derek’s arms holding him feeling like hot brands on his back, he wasn’t really all there. He moved his hand from his neck and pulled on Derek’s hair. It always used to make him wild and it still worked, Derek’s tongue became more aggressive and Stiles was loving every bit of it. He had missed being claimed, being taken. At the second pull, he felt Derek’s dick twitch against his and Stiles threw his head back at the sensation. It was electric. It was fire.  
Derek trailed his mouth down his neck and right above his pulse point, he licked for a long second before biting down mercilessly.

 

“Fuck.”

 

“In a minute.”

 

He felt Derek’s lips move against his collar bone as he spoke but then he bit down even harder and Stiles couldn’t help but let out a scream. It was the best kind of pain, Derek licked it and sucked softly on it and Stiles was reduced to whimpers. He felt his back hit a wall. He could hear Derek move and then his arm moved to open a door. Before Stiles could even open his eyes, his back hit the door and Derek claimed his mouth again in a bruising kiss, the kind that makes you taste blood.

 

His groans died in his throat when Derek pushed his hips against Stiles’ and he felt the full length of his hard cock. Stiles pulled his mouth away panting as he ground his hips against Derek’s. He was painfully hard and already leaking and Derek’s mouth on his neck wasn’t helping. If he kept grinding into Derek, he wouldn’t last much longer.

 

Derek must’ve agreed because he pulled his mouth from his neck after one last lick and pulled back, he put Stiles down but his eyes never left Stiles’. And he could see hunger in them, lust like he used to. They were dark now, not the usual light green or hazel or brown. They were dark, almost black. He had missed that, seeing need in someone’s eyes. Seeing need in someone’s eyes when they were looking at him. And Derek looked at him like he was going to eat him alive, like he was going to ravish him.

 

He started talking off his vest and shirt while Derek ripped his apart and was already naked in front him while Stiles was still struggling with the buttons on his shirt. He felt large, warm hands on his chest. Derek gently moved his hand from the collar down and as he painfully pinched a nipple and held it between his fingers, Stiles was somewhere between moaning and screaming. Then he felt Derek’s tongue on it and what came out was a wanton moan. His shirt all forgotten, Stiles put his hands through Derek’s hair as he bent down to mouth at his chest and nipples. 

 

One second there was a warm mouth on his nipple, sucking hard and licking alternatively and the next, it was cold as Derek moved his face away and the cold air hit his wet nipple. He stood there as a shiver went through his entire body and then strong hands ripped apart his shirt. 

 

“Hey, that was a rental.”

 

“I’ll replace it.”

 

Derek’s mouth was on his again demanding and hot while his hands worked on Stiles’ zipper and then his pants and boxers were yanked down and Derek pulled him up again. As he put his naked legs around Derek’s warm waist, his hard leaking cock touched Derek’s and he physically recoiled as a current went down his spine and he could feel his toes tingling.

 

Derek walked holding him up while he was breathing slowly on Stiles’ ear. He did that for a couple of seconds before his tongue licked down his ear and then he bit lightly on it and Stiles almost came. 

 

“Oh god, oh my Derek don’t, just I’m gonna cum if you keep doing that.”

 

“Not yet.”

 

But he did stop sucking and licking his ear. Stiles felt Derek pull away and their cocks touched again and viola, current. Again. He could feel it on his finger-tips. Then he felt his back touch the bed as Derek put him down and just looked down at him for a minute. There was hunger there still and lust but there was also something else. Something Stiles had seen in his own eyes over the years, there was belonging. It was yearning and yet completion. That’s what he looked like when he thought of Derek. 

 

And just as fast his eyes got darker and Derek was over him, covering his whole body with his like Stiles had imagined and longed for for years. He placed a closed mouth kiss on his lips and then kissed his chin and moved down his chest. As he came to his navel, he stopped and moved his hand teasingly over the trail of hair there.

 

“I’ve always loved this.”

 

Stiles remembered he used to wear small shirts and lift his hands to yawn or stretch to show off that tuft of hair he got junior year of high school, to tease Derek. 

 

He bolted back to the present when he felt Derek’s tongue on his wet cock. Derek licked up the underside and then closed his lips over the head. His tongue circled around the head and poked at the slit as Stiles screamed at the top of his lungs. His toes curled as he tried not to come.

 

“Get off, get off.”

 

Derek pulled off with a pop and looked up at Stiles through his lashes and he had to close his eyes and clench his fists not to come. Oh god, this was really hard. He should be trying to come and not stop it. Derek seemed to get the message because he moved to get something out of the nightstand. Stiles had a thought.

 

“Hey, I’m clean I got checked up just before I got here.”

 

Derek turned his head really quick and Stiles could see his neck was turning red.

 

“I uh, I’m clean too. I haven’t, uh I haven’t since you left.”

 

Stiles was so lost looking into Derek’s eyes which seemed to be saying ‘I waited for you because I knew you’d come’. He couldn’t imagine Derek with anyone else but he also couldn’t imagine how hard it’d be to not just give yourself to someone when you’re hurting. 

 

“Derek, you waited.”

 

“I just couldn’t. But now I can.”

 

He felt a cold finger circling gently around his hole but he was already wet enough that he doubted it would hurt if Derek slipped it inside but he knew that Derek would wait. That he’d do this slow, he always did, afraid of hurting him. And sure enough, he gently massaged the ring before he slipped his finger in and not an iota of pain.

 

First he moved it in gently until his knuckle hit the edge. Then he moved it a bit before he bent the finger inside him and hit his prostate on the first try. Stiles had to shut his eyes and he could see stars. He was going to be done just by fingering if Derek didn’t hurry up and he did. He put his second and then third finger in and started a slow rhythm moving them in and out. Stiles moved his hips along but all of a sudden Derek shoved them in hard and out and in again, the wet slicky noises that they made matched Stiles’ wet moans. Derek pulled the fingers out and before Stiles could even complain about the loss, he felt the head stroking and teasing his hole, Derek was leaking too. Stiles couldn’t hold on anymore so he moved his ass and before Derek could react he pushed back and the head slipped in, Derek let out a loud moan. Stiles grinned at him but winced just as Derek shoved fast and bottomed out. Stiles wasn’t hurting, the fullness was maddening it was like a piece of him had been missing. He could feel Derek’s fingers bruising patterns on his hips and he had always loved his calloused fingers on his body.

 

Stiles thought he was done for and then Derek pulled out all the way and pushed in again. Stiles’ eyes shut against his will as Derek started to thrust in and out of him in a rage that could only come from waiting for something as long as they had. They were both panting, Derek moved to wrap Stiles’ legs around him and bent down to kiss him. They were breathing hard and sweating and the room was filled with curses and moans and screams of pleasure when everything stopped moving for a moment.

 

Derek brought his face close to Stiles’, he kissed him gently and moved his lips next to Stiles’ ear and whispered, “I missed you.”

 

Stiles came with a loud scream that could probably be heard at the reception on the other end of the Preserve with the music on. He was lost to his surroundings, his legs were numb and he couldn’t feel his body. It was like he wasn’t in his body anymore. He was so hot like he was on fire right now. And yet so cold like his whole body was frozen and numb. 

 

Then he felt it, Derek coming inside him. He kept thrusting through it as Stiles tried to open his eyes to see Derek but he couldn’t. When he finally could, Derek was looking down at him, still slightly rocking and looking down into his eyes with so much love that Stiles couldn’t fathom what to do with. He didn’t know where the feeling came from or how he knew what it was, but it felt like this was what his whole life had been leading up to. Like this was what he had been missing for twenty-four years. 

 

He and Derek had always been very intense when they were together but it had never been like this. Never like Stiles felt complete and satisfied and relieved and yet longing for more. It had never felt like he wouldn’t live if Derek was taken away from him. He couldn’t.  
Now it made sense what his dad had said to him, it all made sense.

 

As Derek cleaned them up, put Stiles under the comforter and climbed in behind him, Stiles lay in his arms and it hit him. This is where he belonged, in Derek’s arms. This was home.

 

***

 

When he woke up and couldn’t feel Derek behind him, he tensed. He opened his eyes to bright green ones looking directly at him. Derek was laying in front of him with his head pillowed on his elbow, looking at Stiles. It was like he didn’t want to let Stiles out of his sight. Like he wanted to take his fill, like he was memorising every mole and every freckle because it had been too long and he’d become fuzzy. Then his stomach growled. 

 

He hadn’t eaten at the lunch and he was essentially born hungry and will be eternally hungry. Derek chuckled lightly as his eyes crinkled and Stiles stared at him because that was another sound he hadn’t heard in a while. He loved it just like every other noise Derek made.

 

“Stiles, I’ve decided to move to New York with you.”

 

“You don’t need to.”

 

“What? Why? I don’t—“

 

“I’m moving back.”

 

“…”

 

“But what about your job? I mean you worked so hard for it. I think you should stay in New York.”

 

“I got a new job. With LA times. I actually didn’t even apply, this guy just called me and asked me if I wanted to write a regular column for them. My own column. Apparently someone higher up read a couple of my pieces and he wants me to ‘just ramble about stuff. Whatever you think about whatever. Just be your weird self.’ Can you believe it?”

 

“What?”

 

“I know, I was shocked too but he told me the boss man liked my writing style and how I wander off topic and everything else. He wants me to do a regular column and I can work from home.”

 

“Stiles, I—“

 

“No.”

 

“This is why I didn’t want to tell you. You’re giving up your—“

 

“What part of ‘my own regular column’ are you struggling with? It’s a huge step up from my previous editing job and I always wanted to write.”

 

“I just, when did they call you?”

 

“A couple days ago but I didn’t have a reason to stay then. Now I do. Dad’s not mad at me anymore ‘cuz I finally made a decision. I’m going to be an uncle next month. And I have you.”

 

“You’ll still have me if you stay in New York.”

 

“Well, I’m coming back home. And that’s that.”

 

They were heating up pancakes when a loud thud startled Stiles as he dropped the pan. Derek was instantly there from the fridge pulling him away from the hot pan on the floor that was too close to his bare feet. He turned around to kiss him and before long there were tongues and hands in hair but then—

 

“Stiles, Derek, I hope you two idiots have finally come to your senses. This is the last song at my wedding and you two better be dancing wherever you are.”

 

“How the fuck did he do that?”

 

“He must’ve used the—“

 

You can dance  
Every dance with the guy  
Who gave you the eye  
Let him hold you tight

 

Derek looked down at him and they didn’t even have to speak. Derek held up his hand and Stiles put his hand in Derek’s. This time, he would give Derek his hand and his everything if he asked. Except he already had. Given his everything to Derek.

Derek pulled him close and there they were, in the kitchen shirtless in sweats with bare feet clutching to each other and dancing to the perfect song.

 

You can smile  
Every smile for the man  
Who held your hand  
'Neath the pale moonlight

But don't forget who's taking you home  
And in whose arms you're gonna be  
So darlin'  
Save the last dance for me, mmm

Oh I know  
That the music is fine  
Like sparkling wine  
Go and have your fun

Laugh and sing  
But while we're apart  
Don't give your heart  
To anyone

But don't forget who's taking you home  
And in whose arms you're gonna be  
So darlin'  
Save the last dance for me, mmm

Baby don't you know I love you so?  
Can't you feel it when we touch?  
I will never, never let you go  
I love you oh so much

You can dance  
Go and carry on  
Till the night is gone  
And it's time to go

If he asks  
If you're all alone  
Can he take you home  
You must tell him no

'Cause don't forget who's taking you home  
And in whose arms you're gonna be  
So darlin'  
Save the last dance for me

'Cause don't forget who's taking you home  
And in whose arms you're gonna be  
So darlin'  
Save the last dance for me, mmm

Save the last dance for me, mmm  
Save the last dance for me

 

***

 

“I just want to come home to you every night. I want to go grocery shopping with you and argue over which butter to buy. I want to wear pink underwear to work under my uniform because you left your red sock in the washer. I want to fall sleep every night with you and wake up every morning with you in my arms.”

 

“So, pink underwear, huh?”

 

“Really, Stiles? Just shut up and eat your damn curly fries.”

 

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so both songs, I imagined The Drifters versions for these. This is going to be a long list, Sorry for long links. So here's what everyone's wearing in my head.  
> Scott: http://www.google.ca/imgres?um=1&newwindow=1&sa=N&hl=en&biw=1092&bih=564&tbm=isch&tbnid=XRybat6O-eLgGM:&imgrefurl=http://www.hollywire.com/2012/06/battle-teen-wolf-boys-tyler-posey-vs-dylan-obrien-vs-colton-haynes-mtv-movie-awards-red&docid=iCp_Z_81E4wa9M&imgurl=http://content.hollywire.com/sites/default/files/2012/06/03/tyler-posey-mtv-movie-awards.jpg&w=500&h=751&ei=iywkUvq4LvX84AOmm4GYCg&zoom=1&ved=1t:3588,r:51,s:0,i:240&iact=rc&page=4&tbnh=204&tbnw=166&start=51&ndsp=18&tx=84&ty=82
> 
> Stiles:  
> https://www.google.ca/search?q=dylan+o'brien+new+girl&newwindow=1&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ei=XCckUs-BOqnUsASPw4HQDQ&ved=0CCwQsAQ&biw=1092&bih=564#facrc=_&imgdii=_&imgrc=cAumHHVjYzrBTM%3A%3BKIVrnofn1VsQpM%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fimages6.fanpop.com%252Fimage%252Fphotos%252F34400000%252FDylan-O-Brien-dylan-obrien-34487028-1280-1024.jpg%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fwww.fanpop.com%252Fclubs%252Fdylan-obrien%252Fimages%252F34487028%252Ftitle%252Fdylan-obrien-wallpaper%3B1280%3B1024
> 
> Derek: https://www.google.ca/search?newwindow=1&q=tyler%20hoechlin%20vest&um=1&ie=UTF-8&hl=en&tbm=isch&source=og&sa=N&tab=wi&ei=1SwkUtfyG6G_sASOhIDACg&biw=1092&bih=564&sei=6CwkUp7EIqmrsASQsYCICw#facrc=_&imgdii=_&imgrc=_bKhP_bv3yR0RM%3A%3BwBEeG0uR_WVp_M%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252F31.media.tumblr.com%252Fbbc880c61bbfd57790a6459cbca93de0%252Ftumblr_mrc57tglRq1r2oilzo3_1280.jpg%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Falwaysforsterek.tumblr.com%252Fpost%252F57916349899%252Fcastielific-hoechlin-in-a-vest-drool%3B326%3B908
> 
> Or Derek choice 2: http://www.google.ca/imgres?um=1&newwindow=1&sa=N&hl=en&biw=1092&bih=564&tbm=isch&tbnid=RsFIkDfakJKoGM:&imgrefurl=http://www.zimbio.com/photos/Tyler%2BHoechlin/2013%2BFilm%2BIndependent%2BSpirit%2BAwards%2BRed%2BCarpet/GrEqv4OUhEn&docid=BobuhxZaUTuuYM&imgurl=http://www4.pictures.zimbio.com/gi/Tyler%252BHoechlin%252B2013%252BFilm%252BIndependent%252BSpirit%252BGrEqv4OUhEnl.jpg&w=415&h=594&ei=iywkUvq4LvX84AOmm4GYCg&zoom=1&ved=1t:3588,r:77,s:0,i:318&iact=rc&page=5&tbnh=178&tbnw=123&start=69&ndsp=18&tx=27&ty=115
> 
> Allison pregnant in this: https://www.google.ca/search?um=1&newwindow=1&hl=en&biw=1092&bih=564&tbm=isch&sa=1&q=crystal+reed+white+dress&oq=crystal+reed+white+&gs_l=img.3.0.0.2569.5236.0.6361.7.4.0.3.3.0.103.373.3j1.4.0....0...1c.1.26.img..0.7.381.PfcSm4EpfFc#facrc=_&imgdii=_&imgrc=rNR8HRuwIz3pRM%3A%3BovHakK2sVhWC2M%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fwww.thebudgetbabe.com%252Fuploads%252F2013%252F201304%252Fwhitefall2013verawangbridal25.jpg%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fwww.thebudgetbabe.com%252Farchives%252F5690-WHITE-by-Vera-Wang-Fall-2013-Preview.html%3B440%3B662
> 
> Or this: https://www.google.ca/search?um=1&newwindow=1&hl=en&biw=1092&bih=564&tbm=isch&sa=1&q=crystal+reed+white+dress&oq=crystal+reed+white+&gs_l=img.3.0.0.2569.5236.0.6361.7.4.0.3.3.0.103.373.3j1.4.0....0...1c.1.26.img..0.7.381.PfcSm4EpfFc#facrc=_&imgdii=rNR8HRuwIz3pRM%3A%3Bp9ieJaqby_dZkM%3BrNR8HRuwIz3pRM%3A&imgrc=rNR8HRuwIz3pRM%3A%3BovHakK2sVhWC2M%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fwww.thebudgetbabe.com%252Fuploads%252F2013%252F201304%252Fwhitefall2013verawangbridal25.jpg%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fwww.thebudgetbabe.com%252Farchives%252F5690-WHITE-by-Vera-Wang-Fall-2013-Preview.html%3B440%3B662
> 
> I'm sorry I'm terrible with dresses.


	12. Author's note:Second Part?

So basically this is all I had planned for this fic but I've got some ideas about making this into a series. Especially after all the lovely comments so thanks for giving me a direction. I'll do it if you guys think it's worth the time and effort. Personally, I think this was a good place to end it but everyone wants to see a Sterek wedding among other things! So, here's what I think so far:

I'd like to explore Stiles' relationship with his dad. Apparently, he wasn't redeemed enough and I'd be happy to do it. I could defend Sheriff Stilinski as a full-time job if I had to, so.

I'd also like to dig deeper into Stiles and Derek's relationship now that they are together. They were apart for years and that makes them different people than when they were together before. 

Scott and Allison's daughter will be a recurrent character.

But here's the catch, there will be sickness. Major angst. Stiles will be sick. That's the trope I want to do. Because of reasons. Most of them being- Breaking Bad. I didn't watch the show but I just started and while listening to the guy talk about his life and other things, I thought this is something I'd like Stiles and Derek and the Sheriff and everyone else to go through. So, thoughts?

So that's all I can say without spoiling any possible writing. I'll decide whether or not to continue depending on if you guys think there's more to be said here or if this is a good place to end it. 

Also, since I'm shitty at planning please feel free to suggest where you'd like this to go. And if I have enough skill and vision to do it, I'll try my best. 

Last, thank you everyone for all your support. I'd have stopped writing this a while back if it weren't for all you lovely people who kept coming back and commenting chapter after chapter! Thank you.

So after all the comments, I've decided to make this idea into a separate fic. I've posted the first chapter and will contniue based on whether or not someone's reading. It's here: http://archiveofourown.org/works/961732#main

**Author's Note:**

> So, Stiles basically gets an internship offer after High-school based on his writing samples and his apparently famous blog. Just go with it.
> 
> I'm going to need to know if I should continue this. I have a lot planned for this fic but I'll continue only if there's anyone reading. So let me know.


End file.
